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Atchison | MPGIS S2 | Episode 5

Atchison | MPGIS S2 | Episode 5


Alo- what? Alopecia? What the fuck is that? Well, it’s a disorder in which a person’s
hair- you know what, you don’t have it so there’s really no reason for us to try to
explain it to you. So if it’s not that, then why the fuck do
I look like a young Jeremy Piven? Well, looking at your chart, I would have
to say you’re probably suffering from a case of FPB. I mean, I always use a condom… well unless
I’m in a pool, ‘cuz everybody knows you can’t get pregnant in water. First of all, that’s not the least bit accurate.
Secondly, FPB is not a sexually transmitted disease. It’s a Female Pattern Baldness. What. The. Fuck! Alright, I would appreciate it- I can’t be going bald in high school! I mean
Jesus Christ, why don’t you just tell me I’m poor? Ok, this isn’t the end of the world. This
is a very much reversible condition. What are we talking about? Pill? Shot? Shot
in the butt? Pill in the butt? Talk to me, doc. Ok, well, we’re definitely not going to put
anything in your butt. Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard
a man say that. Right, as I was saying. The number one thing
we need to concern ourselves with is managing stress. Do you often find yourself in a stressful
environment? I’m 17 and attractive. What the fuck do I
have to be stressed about? A Nook, Grandma? I ask for an Ipad and you
buy me a fucking Nook? I wanted to play Angry Birds, not read Wuthering fucking Heights! You specifically told me that you could get
out semen and blood! What the fuck do you call this? Ok, maybe a little. Exactly. You see, your stress levels are triggering
your hair loss. If you want to keep your hair and hopefully see some of it grow back, you’re
going to need to maintain your composure at all times. Keep your temper to a minimum,
and learn to relax. Relax? I’m sorry doc, but I don’t live in
a goddamn Mentos commercial. I am head cheerleader! Do you have any idea the incredible pressure
that I’m- OH MY GOD! Look, Mackenzie, it’s not too late. Besides,
I’m sure nobody’s even noticed yet. Oh, trust me. Everybody has noticed. Well either way, if you want to keep your
hair, you need to control your temper. So then I told him, “either you fix the big
wheel or I’ll see your ass in small claims court.” Ha ha! Oh you burned him! You burned him good! Hey Trisha. Scatter! Ahhhh! What the fuck was that all about? Uh…um…ugh…um…ahhhh…um…bah… Where’s Brittnay? I clearly said to meet here
at 4. Oh, there she is! Hey. Black haired girl, dumb one. Go away, we have cheer squad business. Alright! I’m gonna go see how fast I can eat
a Hot Dog on a Stick. Wait. Did you just walk in here with Jonathan
Getslinhaumer? You would be surprised how much we have in
common. We both hate the football team and we love Ryan Gosling movies- Right, we’re defintely going to get back to
that, but I told you to meet me here for a reason. I- Oh, what the fuck is this shit?! Hey Britt, boo boo, long time no see. Oh my God, Taylor McDevitt! I’m sorry, what the fuck do you think you’re
doing here? Oh just picking up some suits for my boyfriend
at Joseph A Bank. He says hi by the way. Taylor, I wasn’t aware that I had lifted your
ban from Oak Park Mall after the water park incident. Oh no, you didn’t! I would’ve received paperwork. Well, Taylor, it seems to me that you’re not
a member of the Cheer Squad, you don’t even go to Overland Park anymore, might I ask,
what exactly you’re doing here at Oak Park Mall? She’s with us. Oh my god, Tanya Berkowitz! Head cheerleader
of the Atchison High Jaguars! And some other girl! Hello, Tanya. Mackenzie. Trisha. Brittnay. Suck my dick, you cunt. Wow, Brittnay! Nice language! Who taught you
to speak? Sailors?! The fuck? I’m sorry, Tanya, but you more than anyone
should be aware of the laws that govern the malls of the great state of Kansas. Trisha? Every cheer squad is entitled to occupy the
immediate area of their specified mall and/or shopping plaza and are barred from entering
the mall and/or shopping plaza belonging to any other cheer squad without prior written
consent. So Tanya, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have
to ask you to leave- You know, Mackenzie, it’s quite the unfortunate
series of circumstances. Just last Tuesday, Glen Oaks Shopping Plaza in Atchison tragically
burned to the ground. My new co-head vice captain suggested we make our way to Oak Park
Mall, where we would be welcomed with open arms. I suppose sadly, she was mistaken. Listen bitch, you are on Overland Park turf
right now. We don’t give a fuck what backwoods hillbilly burned down your mall- Actually it was a Brookstone combination electric
blanket slash back massager- Oh those are so dangerous. Listen! the rules have changed. This is our
mall now! Surely you can’t hog a Yardhouse and a Zumies all to yourselves. Your mall?! Taylor, I don’t think that would be the best
idea. Not the best idea, it’s a fucking ridiculous
piece of shit of an idea! Oh really, Brittnay are we going to have to
have a…rumble?! Ooooooohhhhhh!!!! Rumble? No, I don’t want a rumble. How about
I unlace my shoe, turn it sideways, and stick it up your uterus, you stupid cunt! Whoa! She sounds like HBO! Ok. How about we propose a little wager. Mackenzie,
I’m sure your squad is planning on going to cheer nationals in Daytona Beach. Yeah, going to cheer nationals to lose… If Overland defeats Atchison at cheer nationals,
you’ll never hear from us again. We’ll go back up the 273, disband the cheer squad and
we’ll be gone forever. If we prove victorious however, you cede control of your entire mall
to us, Yardhouse and all! I have to say, I feel conflicted about this
agreement. Conflicted? Mackenzie, what the fuck is your
deal? Tell these cum hungry demon whores to go fuck themselves with the pointy end of
their grandfather’s cocks! Brittnay, I’m trying to keep my stress levels
down, I’ll explain later, but just know that I agree with pretty much everything you said. Do you ever just get lost in their conversations? Huh? Exactly. Sorry about your mall. Don’t be. Our best stores were a Sam Goody
and a Waldenbooks. It was for the best. Hey, what’s your name? Trisha. What? Trisha. Yes? What’s your name? Trisha. What? Um, it’s Trisha with a T. Yeah. That’s how you spell it. Yeah. Trisha? Trisha. Yeah, what’s your name? Nice to meet you, what’s your name? Um, Trisha. Yes, what do you want out of me? Yeah, Trisha? You never heard this name before? Um, I’m sorry, I pronounce it Trisha. What
about you? I pronounce it Trisha, that’s what my mom
says. Okay. Trisha! What? Oh! Wait, do you spell it with a T? Which part? The beginning. Every time. Me too. So the stakes are set. We’ll see you guys at nationals. You all had better…bring it! Bring it? Jesus Christ, I feel like I’m arguing
with the cast of fucking Ducktales over here. Tell you what, the only thing we’ll be bringing
is [three strap ons so after we win, you can suck our dicks!] Except for you Taylor, I’ve
heard about your gag reflex. My what? Aw hell no! Listen here, bitch- Taylor! What?! You’re at Atchison now! We hold ourselves
to a higher standard. Not like Overland…Bark! You know, like a dog! I get it. We’ll see you at nationals, Brittnay, where
rest assured, I will be opening a can of whoop-butt on you. And by butt I mean ass, as in the
ass I’m going to be fucking you in. Bitch. C’mon Taylor! Oh, and by the way, you would
be so lucky to argue with anyone from Duck Tales, because Scrooge McDuck is worth 4.4
billion dollars. He has fragile baby duck bones, and he still manages to dive into a
pile of coins every single day. What the fuck does duck bones have to do with
anything? Hey Zales, what the fuck was that shit back there? I’ll explain later. Right now, we just need
to practice. C’mon. Psst…psst… psst…psst… Can we help you? Are you lost, little boy? Actually, it’s more of me helping you. I could
be quite the asset to anybody looking to overthrow the Overland Park Cheer Squad… especially
Trisha. What about me?

100 thoughts on “Atchison | MPGIS S2 | Episode 5”

  1. OMG I love Trisha she gets along with everyone! Plus, she’s funny ( she especially gets along with one of the enemies teammates lol )

  2. The fact that all this is supposed to take place in Kansas makes this so much fucking funnier to me not gonna lie

  3. I love the way Taylor says bitch xD I find it fun to say in that voice
    Edit: sorry if this comment sounds mean-spirited ._.

  4. "How about I unlace my shoe,turn it sideways and stick it up your ** you stupid ***!"
    We have never even seen your shoes…

  5. Did anybody else notice just how strange the sound editing was at the beginning at the doctors office?

  6. rewatching after a couple of years and i have no recollection of the the FUCKING DUCKTALES joke that has me dying

  7. "Conflicted? Mackenzie, what the fuck is your deal? Tell these cum Hungry demon whores to go fuck themselves with the pointy end of their Grandfather's COCKS!!" 6:24

  8. If I wanted to hear something more stupid then the girls from AHJ cheer squad ( not Trisha) I would go to the school

  9. 5:37
    "How about I unlace my shoe, turn it sideways, and stick it up your uterus, you stupid cunt!"
    God I love Brittany too much-

  10. You guys don't understand. I live in Kansas. In this area. Oak Park Mall, is my mall. My mom works in the BVSD. Girls at my high school, are just like this.

  11. Why the heck did it took me another episode to realize the girl in the jacket is Ashley Catchadoorian 🤦🏾‍♀️

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