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Being your own cheerleader | three tips to challenge your inner critic

Being your own cheerleader | three tips to challenge your inner critic


– Be your own cheerleader. (soft acoustic guitar music) Now this week, I really
visit that thorny issue of our inner critic, that
voice inside our head that can do so much
damage by reminding you of the things that you’re rubbish at, telling you how useless or
hopeless or pathetic you are, whatever that voice is. It can be so damaging. So here’s three tips to
help you start to welcome in your inner cheerleader.
(applause and cheers) Tip number one.
(camera shutter clicks) Know and believe that you can shift and challenge your inner critic. In previous Weekly Radishes, I’ve talked about the fixed mindset versus the growth mindset, and the evidence that
supports the possibility and the benefits of adopting
a more growth mindset focus. That supports what I’m talking about here. Your inner critic may always be there, it may always have a propensity
to take over at times, but you can challenge
it, you can shift it. You, first of all, need
to believe that you can. Secondly, you need to know and be aware that you have an inner critic, and know what its warning signs are. What are the warning signs
of that inner critic? Do you find yourself starting
to feel really low mood? Do you find yourself
becoming really anxious? Do you find yourself, that little voice getting
louder and louder, or starting to do that a bit more to you? Know your warning signs,
and be aware of them. So it’s about believing that
you can shift that inner critic and then being aware when
it starts to kick in. Tip number two.
(camera shutter clicks) When you catch yourself in the act, what I want you to do
is flip the inner talk. So flip that negative comment,
pick a particular comment that may be repeated or
that is particularly strong or critical or damaging to you. Pick it, and then shape
it into its opposite. Now the reason I say this is not that you suddenly
believe the opposite. It’s because it will export
how ridiculously extreme sometimes these comments are. So let’s give an example here. Let’s say my inner critic is telling me how useless I am, how
much of a waste of space, and how pointless I am as a human being. I mean nothing to anybody. Quite extreme, but let’s be
right, that can go on and on. Let’s flip that though, to the positive. I am now the most valuable
person on the face of this earth. This planet could not function without me. Now, just sit with that for a moment. That might sound, and let’s
be right, is ridiculous. Clearly, the world will go on without me. But by completely reversing
the negative comment, to a positive comment
that sounds ridiculous, albeit it would be lovely if I
was the most important person on the planet, it is
unrealistic and it’s not true. But if that’s the
opposite of the negative, just how extreme and
unrealistic and not true was that negative comment? And start to focus back on how ridiculous that
negative comment was. Because we are never, never ever as bad or as terrible as we perceive we are. And we’re never as good
as we think we are either. We’re somewhere in the middle. Hopefully more towards the
positive, but let’s keep it real. Turn that negative, that extreme negative, into the extreme positive,
see it for what it is, ridiculous, reverse it
back on the negative, see that for what it is, is ridiculous. And accept you’re somewhere in the middle, and that you’re more probably
towards the positive. And the third tip for the inner critic. (camera shutter clicks) Just step away from
that particular comment. Imagine that that comment was made by a friend of yours about themselves, that they were saying that
comment about themselves. What would you think? What would you say? What would you be saying to that person? Would you be saying, oh yeah that’s true. Which is what we tend to do in our head. Or would you be saying,
hang on a minute, mate, you’re being really,
really hard on yourself. You need to take a look at that, you need to get a bit more
rational, you’re not that bad. Or look, you’re nothing like that. Mate, I’ve known you for
years, you are not that person. That’s what we need to
be saying to ourselves. We need to turn that into the cheerleader that counters it and drops in the antidote to that poison that corrodes, and starts to build ourselves back up. We need a cheerleader that is on alert for when the negative
kicks in, will take action, and start to boost you, rather
than allow the corrosive, negative effect of that
inner critic to carry on. So your three tips are, believe
you can shift your critic and challenge it, and catch
your inner critic in the action. Then, as a quick tip,
reverse the negative comment into the positive, and
realise just how ridiculous and untrue that negative
comment was about yourself, and start to counter it with
some really positive self-talk. And the third one is, imagine
if that was a friend of yours that was saying that about themselves, what advice and things
would you be saying to them? And say them to yourself. Why don’t you make the Daily Sprout part of your wellbeing five-a-day. Sign up at dailysprout.net and never miss another Daily Sprout again. (soft acoustic guitar music)

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