Articles Blog

Boris Johnson: The World’s Worst Cheerleader

Boris Johnson: The World’s Worst Cheerleader


SO THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD HERE,
BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, THEY’RE ALSO BAD IN OTHER PLACES. TAKE GREAT BRITAIN. THEY JUST GOT A NEW PRIME
MINISTER, FORMER FOREIGN SECRETARY AND SHAVED MUPPET,
BORIS JOHNSON. JOHNSON WAS AN EARLY SUPPORTER
OF BRITAIN LEAVING THE E.U. AND HAS DOUBLED DOWN LATELY ON
BREXIT, PROMISING TO TAKE BRITAIN OUT OF THE EUROPEAN
UNION BY THE OCTOBER 31 DEADLINE, “DO OR DIE.” “DO OR DIE?”
THAT’S NOT THE PEP TALK YOU WANT FROM YOUR NEW BOSS! “ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WE ARE GOING
TO NAIL THE MACKENZIE PROJECT BY THURSDAY OR WE’RE ALL DEAD. ( LAUGHTER )
ON THE PLUS SIDE, CASUAL FRIDAY!”
( LAUGHTER ) JOHNSON GAVE HIS ACCEPTANCE
SPEECH TO BRITAIN’S CONSERVATIVE PARTY TODAY, AND HE RILED UP THE
CROWD FOR THE CHALLENGES AHEAD:>>I READ IN MY “FINANCIAL
TIMES” THIS MORNING THAT THERE’S NO INCOMING LEADER HAS EVER
FACED SUCH A DAUNTING SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES, IT SAID. WELL, I LOOK AT YOU THIS MORNING
AND I ASKED MYSELF, DO YOU LOOK DAUNTED? (SLIGHT CHUCKLE)
DO YOU FEEL DAUNTED? (NO RESPONSE)
I DON’T THINK YOU LOOK REMOTELY. DAUNTED TO ME.>>STEPHEN: HE IS THE WORLD’S
WORST CHEERLEADER. ( LAUGHTER )
(AS JOHNSON) “THREE CHEERS FOR BRITAIN. HIP, HIP… YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE
THINKING HOORAY. YOU REALLY DO. FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD… YOU
DEFINITELY THOUGHT FELLOW.” ( LAUGHTER )
“NOBODY CAN DENY IT.” NOW, IF YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH
BORIS JOHNSON, A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE COMPARING HIM TO DONALD
TRUMP. FOR INSTANCE, DONALD TRUMP IS.>>WE HAVE A REALLY GOOD MAN
WHO’S GOING TO BE THE PRIME MINISTER OF THE U.K. NOW, BORIS
JOHNSON. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
GOOD MAN. HE’S TOUGH AND HE’S SMART. THEY’RE SAYING BRITAIN TRUMP. THEY CALL HIM BRITAIN TRUMP.>>STEPHEN: NO, THEY DON’T. ( LAUGHTER )
THEY DON’T CALL HIM BRITAIN TRUMP. THEY CALL HIM BRITISH TRUMP,
AMERICA PRESIDENT. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT I’LL SAY THIS POINT — ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) BUT THE AMERICA PRESIDENT HAS A
POINT. JOHNSON IS A LOT LIKE TRUMP. HE’S SAID HILLARY CLINTON LOOKS
LIKE “A SADISTIC NURSE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL,” THAT WOMEN WHO
WEAR BURQAS ARE “ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS,” AND HE SAID THAT
VOTING FOR HIS PARTY “WILL CAUSE YOUR WIFE TO HAVE BIGGER
BREASTS AND INCREASE YOUR CHANCES OF OWNING A B.M.W. M3.” EXCEPT IN THE RARE CASES WHEN
THE VOTE GIVES THE B.M.W. BREASTS AND THE WIFE POWER
STEERING. ( LAUGHTER )
THERE IS ONE WAY IN WHICH THEY ARE DIFFERENT– JOHNSON HAS SAID
HIS CHILDHOOD AMBITION WAS TO BECOME “WORLD KING.” WHILE TRUMP’S CHILDHOOD AMBITION
WAS TO BE BURGER KING. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) TRUMP’S FAMILY WAS QUICK TO
CONGRATULATE JOHNSON, TOO, INCLUDING FIRST DAUGHTER IVANKA,
WHO TWEETED, “CONGRATULATIONS AT-BORIS JOHNSON ON BECOMING THE
NEXT PRIME MINISTER OF THE UNITED KINGSTON.” ( CHEERING )
YES, THE UNITED KINGSTON. SO CLOSE TO KINGDOM. WELL, I GUESS THE APNEL DOESN’T
FLARE FART FROM THE TERRRR. WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

100 thoughts on “Boris Johnson: The World’s Worst Cheerleader”

  1. Liberalism is dying throughout the civilized world. Take heart. It will always thrive in the third world.

  2. Boris is not British Trump he is much smarter. Trump is so "unique" that I don't think anyone is a British or [name of country or nationality] Trump.

  3. Lol you sit there and laugh but you and your people had your time and did nothing but damage with it. Now you want to be bitter and cry when someone actually does something and you people hate it. Such pathetic losers you are. You've been dealt L after L and you didn't learn from a single one of them lol. The definition of insanity.

  4. God&Jesus Bless Boris and all leaders and everyone everywhere with Knowledge and everlasting faith in our lord and saviour Jesus

  5. Boris has a track record like trump he came from the same school there going to form a ner company call fuck up inc only thing is boris we hope well not last

  6. Wanted to be "King of the World". Therefore – was "Kingston" a slip of the tongue…or perhaps a relative of the Prince of wHales? Oh I'm so covfefe'd!!

  7. Love how Trump called Boris "a really good, er, man". Because we all known BoJo the Clown is just a shaved gibbon.

  8. uhh, boris johnson isnt to bad actually, alot of people have confidence in him. If you do some research when he was mayor of London he was brilliant!
    so
    ye
    not
    goood
    journalism
    at
    all
    gona
    unsub.

  9. Omds why couldn’t people vote stay in the EU? There are positive outcomes to staying but it’s too late…

  10. It's great! Boris will be a fantastic P.M. Scotland with this Nimrod in charge, will be independent in a few years.

  11. And those are the people who inflicted Johnson on us! We deserve it. We've been watching your Presidunce making himself look a fool on the world stage, and no we have a similarly buffoonish PM. Our last two PMs were complete idiots too – Theresa "Charisma" May you know about already, but David Cameron (Vision Off) gave us the Brexit headache.

  12. So does Boris have a plan? Our president does not. He has ideas. He implements stuff. But to date, he has never had a plan for anything. Hence his failures with Health Care, the Environment, Taxes, North Korea, Immigration, Russia, Iran, Mexico, and anything else he has attempted to change. He doesn't read. He doesn't study history or foreign policy. He doesn't listen to experts. All of this is why he is unqualified to be President. So is Boris different?

  13. There is no doubting Boris's popularity. He was chosen as prime minister by somewhere around 100,000 members of the Conservative party as compared with a crowd of 200,000 at Glastonbury Festival all chanting 'Fu*k Boris'. Like I say, his popularity cannot be doubted – it's fairly low.

  14. STEVE ol'e BOY your jokes are Horrid, what happened to you???? And P.S. Trump, and or Johnson dont give two fuks what U or anyone else thinks of them…

  15. Can I please stress that WE DIDN’T VOTE FOR THAT PRICK. He was elected Tory party leader by 100,000 Tory Party members after their previous leader Theresa May resigned. As May was Prime Minister he inherited that job too.

    66.4 million people didn’t even get a say.

  16. Where are things "bad" Stephen in the US? you people live very nicely Stephen, you don't know what bad is….

  17. They're both like pickpockets Boris bumps into you, apologises tries to help makes things worse until you finally are glad to be rid of him, Trump bumps into you then loudly shouts accusing you of doing it on purpose until you are glad he leaves. Either way you later discover your wallet is missing.

  18. If Boris Johnson is the world's worst cheerleader Colbert than you are the world's stupidest, clueless, and biggest smartass! You would rather america fail and fall than Trump being right about anything! Your embarassing yourself Colbert. You have become like the kindergarden child that if you do not pay enough attention to they drop their pants and run around screaming until you pay attention to them. I don't find almost anything you say particularly funny or even amusing. Your more like naomi campbell who is followed around by her entarage that laughs at whatever she says no matter how stupid she is being.

  19. Greenerhill ,you are so sub human, and as your name implies, very green behind the ears , now lets have something more ,well you know ,applicable !! ,do try hartder oh sub interlectual one of the "Obamanation sheep", left wing !, more like left behind.

  20. Boris Johnson is a smart person acting like a fool and it's the only reason he's prime minister . He's actually a good choice . It's also good entertainment value

  21. Johnson kind of looks like both Bernie and Drumpf! But he shares the same political ideas that Drumpf does!

  22. I thought comedians weren't supposed to be status-quo stooges… It seems I was wrong. Colbert used to be open to different points of view, even considering Ron Paul back in 2012… Now, he's just too cozy with the establishment.

  23. Laugh as much as you want. We are watching the final act of the Play: The End of the long Peace in Europe. I wonder who will start

  24. If anyone doubted the existence of the Illuminati screwing around with world affairs for their own entertainment, ARE YOU WATCHING ANY OF THIS?!?!

  25. Gregory Parrot ,who rattled your cage ? ,get it into your head you bird brain , I am not your bud ! got it,now get this , having read your comment ,I surgest you put away your counters and grow up , its not that your worthy opponent ,its just that its jolly good fun pulling at your feathers and wait for you to get a "flap" on ,squaking away and repeating rude words !! , and who the hell taught you to say "Dire Tribe" ?? ,don't expect to be told your a "clever boy" either ,my grandmother budgie could sing, god save the queen !!, ha ! I bet you can't sing the American national anthem ,can you ,? , evrything in the US is a conspiracy ,you people can't even flush your toilets without the water companies counting how many times you poo ,and if that number rises ,it reported to home security ,incase your hiding illegals ,and if you think thats wrong ,you do not know your country , and the same can be said about electricity consumption and gas ,and if you use credit cards or have accounts where you pay cash ,for say petrol ,food or medical supplies ,your supermarket or garage has to report evrything !! and if a patern is not maintained ,investigations begin , do you know that whilst you are trying to hold your own against a superior force ie ME ,your countries "services" take that oppertunity to, shall we say take certain liberties whilst you are distracted on the internet ,and don't think "they won't know if its me" because they do, the internet companies record the music that is created from the way you strike the keys and the rythm, its like a finger print only more cerebial than you may be able to imagine, they can tell your state of mind by the speed and length of contact made to those keys ,also every single letter used , those security measures ,not only work on information searched and stored ,not the "Piano Concerto" you create when bashing out infantile responses to me and no doubt many others is "read". ,Conspiracies" Ha you don't know the half of it ,because you don't wan't to, Donald Trump ,will in time open your eyes and your cage and set you free ,but I bet you stay put ,because once a Parrot always a Parrot ,who's a pretty boy then ?? .

  26. As a Brit can I just point out the vast majority of us did not vote for this nobhead. The Conservative party had an election internally for a new leader and he is continuing the 5 year term Therese May got in her election.

  27. sorry america …we just got trump 2 lite ……boris pretends to a man of the people to dumb english voters like trump but is lifelong right wing spoiled rich kid , just as 2 face and just as vile…….just like trump …….the FACT trump loves this guy tells you all you need to know

  28. Boris Johnson is at least a real politician, which means I believe he will stick to the topics, and work on the issues.

  29. Dear Americans,

    We're sorry for laughing when Trump was elected.

    We're all fucked now…

    Sincerely,
    The UK

  30. On behalf of everyone in the UK, please, please, please stop trying to 'do' an English accent. It is by degrees both embarrassing and borderline offensive. By all means call Boris Johnson a dangerous moron. He is. But could you possibly manage it without sounding like Dick Van Dyke in 'Mary Poppins'.

  31. World leaders are definitely dumb and dumber. The maga hat wearers don't even know who this guy is but they are cheering.

  32. Boris Johnson is what would happen if Donald Trump was a little self aware. Johnson is super cunning and is aware of his persona while Trump is similar but no where near as calculated

  33. So lame why not speak your own mind. A TV show from this bozo. Why not create your own Utude channel. Didnt you go to drama school and get a degree. This goof ball lives in a gated community and calls 911 the first sight of a brown person. His show is so boring. He should just be on CNN.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *