Previously on The Most Popular Girls in School… Oh my- fuck me with my own fist! The evil that we all worked so hard to control,
you’ve let it loose! Motherfucker! She’s coming for you, she’s gonna get her
revenge, something about a butthole, and that you broke your word. You weren’t there… in the third grade. You know I’ve got to say, I kind of like what
she’s done with the place. Her work’s kind of got an early-Banksy quality to it. Shay, will you pull your head out of your
goddamn twat and focus on the fucking problem at hand? Oh I’m sorry, I’m not the one who blew up
Brittnay’s car and unleashed the fucking succubus that we took care of eight and a half years
ago. Oh c’mon! How was I supposed to know that
she was gonna take this so goddamn personally?! She warned you Mackenzie! She fucking warned
you! It was the third grade Shay! How was I supposed
to know- You just had to screw her over didn’t you?
You just had to screw her over the same way you screw over anyone who dares get in the
way of the great and glorious Mackenzie Zales! You feel better now? Did you get that all
out of your system, baby? Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Ok good, now look, we took care of this in
the third grade, we sure as fuck can take care of it now. I’m sorry what happened in the third grade? That was the day we all met Brittnay- Um, I think you guys are kind of missing the
whole point of the movie- What do you mean? The point of the movie is
to tell the story of the magnificent and beautiful Regina George who is repeatedly attacked by
a little red-headed troll who is jealous of her amazing life and eventually tricks her
into walking in front of a bus. Yeah, what was that little red-headed girl’s
problem anyway? I don’t know, I mean, maybe she just figured
out that being popular isn’t really the most important thing in life and doesn’t hold any
true value. Well, I guess we’ll never have to find out
if that’s true. Yeah, totally. Ok boys and girls, I want to introduce you
all to Brittnay Matthews. She just transferred here from St. Teresa’s All Girls School in
Kansas City. I didn’t transfer. I was expelled. Ok well, anyway, we all know how hard it can
be to be in a new place, so I want you all to take time today to introduce yourselves
and make Brittnay feel welcome here in Overland Park. Hi there Brittnay. I’m Shay Van Buren, and
these are my friends Mackenzie and Rachel. Hi Brittnay! I like your dress. Thanks. I think you look like shit. Listen
up cunts, I don’t need you as friends, I don’t want you as friends. Stay the fuck out of
my way, and we’ll all get along just fine. Got it? Great! What is her problem? I look like shit? What does fuck mean? Now are you ready for me to blow your mind?
Kickball is just baseball but with your feet! Oh my God, how did I never notice that?! I know right! If you think that’s crazy, just
wait until I tell you what ping-pong actually is. What is- Oh no! Our cubbies! No no no no no! I had a Nintendo DS in there!
And I was halfway through Metroid Prime Hunters, the first hunt! No, my lunchables! Waahh! Oh, somebody’s gonna be held responsible for
this ya’ll! Cause this don’t happen to Matty D! Not Matty D! What happened? Our cubbies! Waahhh! The Derringer name cannot withstand this much
shame. What the hell? Oh my god! Ooh I got a rocket! Who would do this? I’m pretty sure it was Brittnay. Ha! Brittnay Matthews! What?! Go sit in the time-out chair and think about
what you’ve done! Good! I will. And when I’m done doing that,
it’ll give me some time to think about what I’m gonna do next. Wow, that girl is crazy. Yeah, let’s stay the hell away from her. Uh, done and done. Remember kids, one juice box per student. Hey no cuts Jonathan! I don’t play by your rules man! And by the
way, the name is Uncle Jesse! Isn’t that right, The Rippers?! We’re not doing that! Hey did you just cut?! Yeah, so? Next! Oh! Ow! Ow! Oh it hurts! Brittnay! Timeout! Ugh, fine. Why is my pee-pee hard? You guys, I just saw that girl Brittnay beat
up Jonathan Getslinhaumer! What else is new? She’s a little psycho. Yeah, yeah but I just realized she can be
our little psycho. What? If we make friends with her, we can make her
our enforcer. Ok, but how do you propose we become friends
with that? Why is my head so itchy? I just need to talk to her. She’s on timeout. You’re not gonna be able
to talk to her unless-? Ow! Waaahhhh! Mackenzie! Timeout! Son of a bitch bastard! Did you just smack your friend in the face? Yeah. She must be pretty pissed. Eh, I did it so I could come talk to you.
She’ll forgive me. That’s what friends do. You know, we’d like to be your friend. Why so you can punch me in the face? No thanks. No, no, no, no, see, if we had you as our
friend we’d never have to punch anyone in the face. Because you could do it for us. Well I do like punching people in the face.
But no thanks, I work alone. Yeah, I noticed that. But you know if you
keep getting in trouble like this, you’re gonna get expelled again. Yeah, so? I’m just saying if you had a couple of friends
looking out for you, they could keep you from getting in trouble. Then your life would be
a whole lot easier. Brittnay! Your timeout’s over. Fuckin’ finally! But if you get in trouble again, you’re going
straight to the principal’s office. What do you say Brittnay? Sounds like you
could use a friend. I say fuck off. I don’t need any friends.
I don’t need anyone! I work alone, and you know why? Because there’s only one person
looking out for Brittnay Matthews. And that’s Brittnay Matthews. So thanks for the chat,
and if you ever feel like doing it again, feel free to sucker punch one or all of your
friends for me. Mackenzie, your time’s up. You can get up
now too. Every single one of you is a wrinkle in my face. How did it go? Not good. You see, I told you she was crazy. Also, why’d
you hit me in the face?! No, no we just need to show her how valuable
it is to have us as friends. Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right. Why don’t
we lead with our great face-slapping program? Are we sure this is the best idea we can come
up with? Trust me Rachel, it’ll be over before you
know it. Alright. Shay, you ready? Ready as I’ll ever be. Oh hey Jonathan, how’s it going? Oh actually the name is- I agree, Brittnay is a real cunt! What?! What?! Brittnay! Goddamnit! Brittany! That is it!
Principal’s office now! Goddamnit. Oh no! I saw the whole thing, teacher! Jonathan
Getslinhaumer attacked Rachel! I did?! Brittnay was just trying to, um, break up
the fight! Get off of me! He came at me like an animal!
Thanks Britt! You’re a real friend. Jonathan, go on timeout! That was very nice
of you Brittnay. What the fuck just happened? See? It’s like I told you Brittnay. When you’ve
got friends like us, we can get you out of any jam. Rachel took one for the team, and Shay
provided a cover story. You sure you don’t want to reconsider our offer? With you on our side, we’d be unstoppable. Think about it, Britt. It’s a good deal. Alright, fine. But you have to promise me
something. Sure. I’m not like these two. I don’t get sacrificed.
I don’t ever want to be the one who gets fucked over. So I’ll be your enforcer. But don’t
fuck me. Don’t you ever fuck me. Alright, you have my word. Because if you do, I’ll burn your entire world
to the ground. Huh. You know, I’ll be honest. I do not understand
women. I know right, Tanner?! Who needs ’em! Woop,
there goes my pee-pee again. So you see Trisha, everything’s been totally
cool since then. Until Mackenzie had to go and blow up her fucking car! Look, we just have to do what we did back
then. Oh no, no, no, I am not getting punched in
the face again! We just need to show her that she still needs
us. Whoa! Like what you guys have done with the
place. It’s very-, uh, oh wow, that’s quite a painting over there. Deandra, can you just give us a minute? We’re
trying to deal with something here. Normally I would, but the groundhog is already
kind of looking for his shadow if you know what I mean. Oh God! That’s disgusting! C’mon you guys! Oh what come on, you guys don’t want to see
if there’s gonna be six more weeks of winter?