Articles Blog

Cardi B Wants Her Fans To ‘Vote For Daddy Bernie’

Cardi B Wants Her Fans To ‘Vote For Daddy Bernie’


WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “”THE
LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. THAT’S A FRIDAY CROWD RIGHT
THERE. I HOPE EVERYBODY IS CUDDLED UP
WITH A LOVED ONE TONIGHT AND THEN SHOVING THEM AWAY BECAUSE
IT’S TOO DAMN HOT. BECAUSE THE COUNTRY IS IN THE
MIDDLE OF A MASSIVE HEAT WAVE. THIS WEEK IT HAS BEEN 90 DEGREES
OR WARMER FOR NEARLY 90% OF AMERICANS. LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY: IF YOU
KNOW ANYONE WHO USES NATURAL DEODORANT, NO LONGER KNOW THEM. ( LAUGHTER )
IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHAT THAT KIND OF HEAT LOOKS LIKE ON A
MAP, CHECK IT OUT. IN FACT, IF YOU ZOOM IN, YOU’LL
SEE NEW JERSEY IS NOW JUST A FLAMIN’ HOT CHEETO. ( LAUGHTER )
OF COURSE, SOME OF THE HEAT THIS WEEK COMES FROM TRUMP STOKING
THE FLAMES OF RACIAL HATRED, WITH HIS BASELESS ATTACKS ON
WOMEN OF COLOR IN CONGRESS. IT’S PUT A LOT OF STRAIN ON ONE
PERSECUTED GROUP: TRUMP’S FACT-CHECKERS. ( LAUGHTER )
THIS WEEK, CNN’S DANIEL DALE TOLD US A TRICK OF THE TRADE
FOR FACT-CHECKING TRUMP. ACCORDING TO DALE, IF TRUMP USES
THE WORD “SIR,” IT’S A TELLTALE SIGN TRUMP IS BEING DISHONEST. THE OTHER TELLTALE SIGN: HE IS
TALKING. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WATCH FOR THAT. WATCH FOR THAT. APPARENTLY, THE WORD “SIR” SEEMS
TO POP INTO TRUMP’S HEAD MORE FREQUENTLY WHEN HE IS INVENTING
OR EXAGGERATING A CONVERSATION. (AS TRUMP)
“THEN THE QUEEN SAID, ‘ARISE, SIR TRUMP, KNIGHT OF ENGLAND AND
LORD OF HOGWARTS.'” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) BUT TRUMP BETTER WATCH OUT,
‘CAUSE THERE ARE 25 DEMOCRATS TRYING TO KEEP US FROM EVER
CALLING HIM “SIR” AGAIN. I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT’S “DOIN’ IT DONKEY STYLE.”>>TAX THE RICH! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: FIRST: DEMOCRATIC CANDIDATE METAPHYSICAL GURU
MARIANNE WILLIAMSON, SEEN HERE LEARNING SHE CAN’T BRING HER
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT LEMUR ONTO THE DEBATE STAGE. ( LAUGHTER )
ON MONDAY, IN LOS ANGELES, WILLIAMSON SPOKE TO A CROWD OF
SEVERAL HUNDRED, INCLUDING PEOPLE IN FLOWER CROWNS AND
MICKEY MOUSE EARS DECKED OUT AS GIANT PURPLE ORBS. SO NOW WE KNOW WHAT UNITES
WILLIAMSON’S SUPPORTERS: THEY’VE ALL HAD SEX ON THE COACHELLA
FERRIS WHEEL. THEY HAVE A FERRIS WHEEL AT
COACHELLA?>>YEAH. IS IT ROOMY? ‘VE NEVER BEEN ON THE FERRIS
WHEEL.>>BUT YOU HAVE BEEN TO
COACHELLA, YES.>>WHY HAVEN’T YOU BEEN ON THE
FERRIS WHEEL.>>I’M NOT INTERESTED. NOT INTERESTED IN WHEELS? PARTICULAR, BUT
ESPECIALLY COACHELLA.>>BRING A LOT OF HAND
SANITIZER. AND SHE LED HER OWN AUDIENCE
CHANT: A BRIEF CALL-AND-RESPONSE:
“AND SO IT IS,” SHE MURMURED. “AND SO IT IS,” THE AUDIENCE
ECHOED. HOW REFRESHING TO HEAR A CHANT
AT MURMUR-VOLUME. ( LAUGHTER )
MAYBE TRUMP SHOULD TRY IT. (AS TRUMP VERY QUIETLY)
“SEND HER BACK. SEND HER BACK.” “I RECEIVE YOUR HATE-FILLED
SCREAMING WITH GRATITUDE.” ( LAUGHTER )
WILLIAMSON DID SEEM AWARE THAT PEOPLE THINK SHE IS A LITTLE
KOOKY, SAYING, “COMING BACK TO LOS ANGELES ALWAYS GIVES ME
A SENSE OF SOUL BASE. I THINK LIKE SO MANY PEOPLE HERE
THINK. YOU DON’T ACTUALLY THINK YOU’RE
WACKY WHEN YOU’RE HERE. YOU JUST THINK LIKE EVERYONE
ELSE.” ( LAUGHTER )
(AS WILLIAMSON) “IN LOS ANGELES, I’M NOT CRAZY. I’M JUST A WOMAN, STANDING ON A
STREET CORNER, ASKING IF ANYONE KNOWS WHERE I CAN BUY SOME
ORGANIC PLACENTA CAPSULES. ( LAUGHTER )
AND SO IT IS.” ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU HAVE TO MURMUR IT. VERY FEW PUNCH LINES IN THIS JOB
THAT YOU MURMUR. THERE’S ALSO NEWS ABOUT VERMONT
SENATOR AND MAN POINTING TO WHERE THE SQUIRRELS GOT INTO THE
AIRSHAFT, BERNIE SANDERS. BERNIE HAS GOTTEN SOME BIG
CELEBRITY ENDORSEMENTS, PERHAPS NONE BIGGER THAN RAPPER CARDI B,
WHO ONCE TOLD HER FANS TO “VOTE FOR DADDY BERNIE.” OOH! SHE CALLED HIM “DADDY.” I THINK THIS MAKES HIM WHAT THE
KIDS CALL A “ZADDY.” OR, MORE ACCURATELY, A “ZANDPA.” THIS WEEK, BERNIE WAS ASKED TO
RESPOND TO CARDI’S SUPPORT, AND HE SAID THIS:
>>WHAT’S YOUR MESSAGE FOR CARDI B AND HER FOLLOWERS?>>WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I THANK
HER VERY MUCH FOR HER SUPPORT. I SPOKE TO HER A FEW WEEKS AGO. SHE IS VERY SHARP AND
UNDERSTANDS A LOT ABOUT POLITICS AND A LOT ABOUT HISTORY AND I AM
VERY APPRECIATIVE TO HAVE HER SUPPORT.>>STEPHEN: CARDI AND BERNIE! IT’S THE MASHUP OF THE CENTURY! (AS BERNIE)
“LOOK, I DON’T DANCE NOW, I MAKE MONEY MOVES. IN FACT, I’D LIKE TO MOVE MONEY
FROM THE BILLIONAIRE CLASS TO THE 99%. ‘CAUSE I’M A BOSS IN A SKIRT,
I’M A DOG, I’M A FLIRT, AND IT’S HIGH TIME WE HAD MEDICARE
FOR ALL YOU BROKE HO’S. I KNOW A BAD BITCH WHEN I SEE
ONE. TELL RI-RI I NEED A THREESOME.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )

100 thoughts on “Cardi B Wants Her Fans To ‘Vote For Daddy Bernie’”

  1. 🤣that Bernie and Cardi B mash up .That would've been the perfect ending for the segmant if it wasnt for white dad moves at end.

  2. Try harder, Stephen Colbert. Your boring jokes trying to demean Bernie and his supporters aren’t stopping us at all from LOVING Bernie and respecting his BRILLIANCE and DECENCY <-something you don’t have.

  3. THAT UGLY NO TALENT TRASH IS EVERYTHING THATS WRONG WITH SOCIETY I KNOW I AM TURNIN REPUBLICAN NOW😡

  4. LOL …… talk about a huge disappointment. I hope he gets her more involved, will only have her more exposed of her crap. And Bernie is glad to have her along? Yeah , sorry bub, you must be as old as they say, you obs cant use the internet. If you can, then your proving your a knowingly uninformed teenage minded individual. Imagine that guy as a president, legit the most aging job in the world, these voters for him know he will have a medical emergency from stress, they honestly just want their free healthcare and debts erased before he gets killed from the stress. Bernie thinks this is smart, because she has a wide young audience …… young audience …… and to the adults who listen to her ….. have any yall seen them ? Talk about uninformed love!

    Seriously, this guy is connecting himself with that …… girl …. ? Actually disgraceful.

  5. Open up almost any of the comment replies, and be greeted by the same lies and propaganda Fox News and MSM spread about this man. It's almost like a game. Someone says something positive about Bernie, then someone else regurgitates all the MSM talking points they've absorbed without questioning. Oh Joy. Stop watching MSM people, it's rotting your world view.

  6. This guy has always made me sick.. This cabal evil cult shit they all practice is just insane..
    Its sooo annoying how they can't get off the bashing trump topic.. And The Hollysick Hollyweird freaks just keep repeating same crap…
    Problem is they all lie… All are in big trouble for pedo hurting children…
    Thry make us sick…

  7. Who is unanimously hated by Establishment politicians, Wall Street and Corporate Media?

    Bernie Sanders. So you know what to do. Vote Bernie.

  8. Didnt Cardi B make a video crying about paying 40% of her income to taxes? Now she endorsed Bernie who wants to tax her at 75% 🤔???

  9. I become less of a Colbert fan when he -unpleasantly sounding like Trump—-tries to demean Bernie for no valid reason.
    Heads up, Steph, Bernie is the one Trump fears…so why aren't YOU supporting Bernie?

  10. Are u guys serious about paying MORE IN TAXES for free health care and free college? How is health care incentivized to innovate without competition? How can prices go down if a single payer system is not competitive? If college if free, many people will have the same degrees, just like a diploma. Jobs r gonna want higher degrees causing students to stay in school longer for jobs that once required a lesser degree.
    I don’t understand why ppl r ok with a presidential candidate who says “we’re gonna higher taxes so that way we can spend UR money the way WE see fit.”
    His plans all sound great, but have u thought about any negative effects from these plans?
    How much of a percentage of my paycheck to do I get to keep and spend for myself? Seriously?
    Please don’t tell me the 1% will pay their fair share and I might not be affected bc they already pay for 37-40% of our country’s taxes. ALL of our taxes will go up. I’m not ok with giving up more of my paycheck that already contributes to MY healthcare. Now I’m gonna have to pay more for OTHERS health care?
    Ima need some more convincing on this.

  11. Nobody interested in Bernie underpaying his own employees? Do a bit of your own fact checking people! no wonder Americans are so thick headed watching this rubbish

  12. Love Bernie, all the others have copied his policies. To do the unthinkable free health care, and free tuition, they all thought he was crazy look at him now.

  13. Bernie is a hero. He lived right by the border with Canada and instead of packing his stuff and moving to more progressive place like Canada he chose to stay in this conservatives infested country and fight for what’s right. Many people with his views would’ve left but he stayed. He stayed so this country can change.

  14. FREE MEDICARE FOR ALL YOU BROKE HOES …. LMAOO… THE FACT IS THE IDIOTS THAT BELIEVE THIS HOE AND BERNIE … YA CAN NOT EVEN TELL WHEN YA BEING DISRESPECTED AND MOCKED??? #FACTS LOL

  15. Bernie is not going to win, he's done and is trying to pimp the Black community using Cardi B??? Cant believe she gave him **ad, must be nice to use all that money for bull*ish. Bernie is done, he cant win and the US will not go the way of VT.

  16. SOMEONE TELL CARDI that for every Million Bucks she makes, Bernie gonna confiscate $700k for taxes, so For every Million Bucks she make , she will only pocket $300k

  17. Yall know bernie is a millionaire who has never given to charity and is now working with an ex prostitute who used to drug men to rob them…. they make a good pair. Bernie lives in the whitest state of america with super low taxes. Yall should kill yourself if you think he is anything but a perverted old mafiosi

  18. There's a thin line between what's mildly funny…and a person like Bernie who deserves respect….I don't know, I just love he stood his ground for decades.

  19. So he's covered the cost of taxes in many of his debates and interviews and the conservative right like to focus on the one scary 33 trillion dollar tax increase that Americans would see over all with the medicare for all plan (Which actually is 32, but i digress) But… they refuse to mention the second part of Bernie's predicted numbers that's the return to the people through no deductible, no premiums, no yearly minimums, no caps and off course tax deductions etc etc…. the return to the american people would be over 34 trillion dollars. Don't let the numbers scare you into immoral ground, we must make it available to veterans to access healthcare easily. I dated a guy who lived in rural nebraska that had sarcoidosis in his lungs from the burn pits in Afghanistan while was deployed. The closest va hospital was omaha. A 2 hour drive one way. He is so strung out trying to take care of himself he can't get to omaha for treatment so he's letting himself die. He's 30. We need this!!!! We need this to take care of our people.

  20. Our whackos; smart loving adorable, i.e. candidate Williamson. Their whackos carry assault guns; empty ignorant profane violent, pleading for an identity, but with access to NRA-Mom's AK & ammunition i.e. unfulfilled 18-21 yo whiteboy desperate for warm understanding, or simply craving a BJ from a friend… Imagine their whackos getting laid instead of visiting Hate-sites, rather than composing manifestos for bigots, perhaps them visiting porn sites would serve them & all of Us better.

  21. I take it no one in his writing staff have seen that video of someone giving a blowjob in the Coachella ferris wheel

  22. This Colbert was never funny, but before he at least seemed to be his own man. Now it's clear that he's not funny and that he's a puppet bought by corporate Democrats'big money. Go Bernie! <3

  23. Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
    Money don't grow on trees
    I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
    There ain't nothing in this world for free

  24. Steven is trash and a paid shill. Hard to believe you want to bring down America and the gullible believe you. Karma will get you man

  25. Some Democrats see bernie as a jk but then he was the only one from last 2016 candidates that kept fighting for the ppl… Hilary who?

  26. Correct your title honey. She doesn’t want or making them vote for Bernie she is encouraging her fans to vote in general! You nut 🙄

  27. Cardi B needs to take care of home first all these are OUR kids acting crazy and shooting ppl someone raised the dirty cops to what the hell Bernie going to do about the hoods 😕nothing kids in Chicago are still going to be dying every day

  28. Vote for Bernie = Bernie winning 2020 = Real change in the US

    Vote for anyone other than Bernie = Trump winning 2020 = Nothing will change or things will be even worse.

    So vote for #Bernie2020 otherwise don't cry me a river when Trump wins again in 2020.

  29. Only politician whom genuinly cares. He means what he says he says what he means. No ego with Bernie…All about the people.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *