Articles Blog

Dark Corners – Satan’s Cheerleaders: Review

Dark Corners – Satan’s Cheerleaders: Review


‘All for one and one for all the husky cheerleaders have a ball.’ Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World ‘Just the way he looks at me I feel so dirty.’ This week we’re taking a close look at Satan’s Cheerleaders ‘Prevert’ purely for reviewing purposes. ‘Gee I wonder if anyone’s gonna come?’ No comment. ‘Keep everything clean’ The film features Lily Munster herself, Yvonne de carlo ‘She has the power’ and serial cult actor John Carradine who I suspect only had one question for the producers ‘How much? How much you gonna give me?’ But it’s real stars are the cheerleaders. ‘Take a picture it will last longer.’ Who fall into the usual stereotypes; the leader ‘Just make sure you don’t cross that line’ the slut, ‘He’s breathing right?’ the dumb one ‘Who’s Keats?’ and the one who’s contract allowed for partial nudity. ‘Live and let live, right Mrs J’ They engage in so much good natured banter about how they enjoy sleeping around… ‘Where the men are men’ ‘and the women are glad of it’ that you’d think, by the law averages, eventually one of the lines must be amusing ‘I can’t help thinking we left something out’ But that’s not what the film is about. ‘I just got balled in the back of the head’ Between bikini practice sessions ‘All for gour huskies stand up and hola’ Porkies shower scenes And a novel approach to hitch-hiking… The 1st half of the film hits it’s USP hard ‘That’s the understatment of the year.’ But then the girls are waylaid by a handsy Satanist. ‘You better watch it.’ who subjects one of their number to a weird ritual. This is one of those films where innocents caught out in the wilderness discover that, however unlikely it might seem, everyone is a Satanist! ‘Jesus Christ.’ Couple of problems; first, the Satanists are looking for… ‘The one that is pure’ Did you not see the first half of the film? ‘When it comes to making men’ ‘You can’t beat a cheerleader’ There is an explanation for this later but I still feel that if you’re looking for a virgin sacrifice, these were not the obvious candidates. ‘I’m no maid I’ve been a cheerleader for 3 years’ Secondly this sort of film thrives on tension, on threat, on us fearing for the safety of the pretty young things at the centre of the story. ‘I can imagine how thrilled you guys are feeling’ Here are the girls escaping the Satanists clutches I find it hard to take Satanists seriously if they won’t invest in an actual lock! ‘When you get to the woods fan out.’ ‘Remember that, when you get to the wood spread out ’ ‘I didn’t say that, I said when you get to the woods, fan out.’ But perhaps I’m not supposed to take them serisously, they have as much ‘comedy’ banter as the girls! ‘What do you know about women’ ‘I’m very well read and I dream a lot’ Maybe I’m misjudging this film, maybe it’s a comedy. ‘I don’t get it’ But the denouement turns on the girl’s naïve teacher being raped by the lead Satanist. #I’m gonna teach you a real lesson teacher.’ which does not seem like a comedy ending, and delivers the moral; if you don’t want to be sacrificed just put out ‘If your boss man wants me I’m no one to argue’ To make matters more confusing, even Satan is unwilling to take his followers seriously as Patti, the one who had the Rosemary’s Cheerleader moment earlier, now uses her Satanic powers against the bad guys. I say bad guys, but the kidnapping rapists are now fighting against Satan. ‘I don’t understand’ While Patti and the girls can see a benefit to having an in with the Prince of Darkness. ‘We’ll go out there and we’ll win this game. Go’ ‘I have a feeling we’re not going to lose any games this year.’ Wow, you see so many football teams before matches saying how God’s on their side, ‘God is number one’ This is… well it’s different. ‘Well I’ll be damned’ ‘Most likely’ If you’ve got a film you’d like us to review leave a comment below click here to subscribe Here to watch more reviews or if you’d like to watch the latest episode of Dark Corners undead click down there ‘It’s all over’ ‘it’s all over’

20 thoughts on “Dark Corners – Satan’s Cheerleaders: Review”

  1. Wow this movie suffered from what I call tonal whiplash.

    Love to see you guys tackle either 1995's Project: Metalbeast or 1989's Leviathan. Or even 1974's THE BEAST MUST DIE.

  2. It sounds like one of those movies where the ending is where the movie should have begun. Satanic cheerleaders use their supernatural powers to help the football team win all the season's games.

  3. Oh my good christ, -One of the "actresses" from Angel's Revenge made ANOTHER film??!! I love the way they seem to think anyone will be surprised by them being satanists.

  4. Satan's Cheerleaders looks like an enjoyably bad movie. Looks good for a few laughs involving dumb cheerleaders and dumb Satanists.

  5. It sounds like the film couldn't decided whether to be sexploitation or comedy and so failed at being both instead of being good at one or the other.

  6. Judging by the intellectual capacities of the Satanists and cheerleaders, it would seem they spring from the same gene pool. They should be working together for the common evil. Good review, and I'm sure much better than the film. Thank you.

  7. Both Yvonne DeCarlo and John Carradine appeared in the 1978 awful movie:
    "Nocturna: Granddaughter of Dracula." complete with Disco music. Carradine looked so old, as he always does, that when they showed him in the coffin asleep as Dracula he looked dead, for real.

  8. Funny, I would have thought thought that Satan's cheerleaders would have gone to Satan's School for Girls…

  9. It also has Jack Kruschen as the peeping tom janitor. Even if it weren't entertaining already, he could make any movie watchable.

  10. Can't beat Yvonne DeCarlo, John Carradine and John Ireland in a Greydon Clark movie but…this comedy horror is neither funny nor scary.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *