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Epic Cheerleader Meltdown | MPGIS S2 | Episode 14


I’m just saying, how is it any different from
Olympus Has Fallen? No, I agree! If you’re gonna make me pick
between Morgan Freeman and Jamie Foxx, I’m gonna pick Morgan Freeman everytime! Your’e damn right. Yeah, cinematography be damned! What! Hey! Wow! So this is happening. Yep, I’m gay. How many views is it at now? It’s still refreshing. Ugh, give me that. Hurry the fuck up! I’m
gonna look at the comments while it’s refreshing…”Brittnay Matthews is my hero.” Oh, how flattering.
I mean, I guess I can see that. “Brittnay Matthews is God.” “Brittnay Matthews is greater
than Jesus, the Beatles, and One Direction combined.” I love you! “Brittnay Matthews
is a lying little slut.” Wait, what? What the fuck? “Brittnay Matthews is a dumb?” Learn
to type you shitbag! Babe, don’t worry about it! “Brittnay Matthews should die.” How about
you fucking die, Palomino728? How about that, you fucking piece of shit? Hey babe, why don’t we talk about something
else, like uh, like my jawline? So angular, right? I’m sorry, but someone like you wouldn’t really
understand what I’m going through right now. Aren’t like 99% of your comments positive? I don’t give a fuck! I’m gonna hunt down every
one of those people that’s talking shit about me, and make them pay. Uh, babe, you’ve got millions of comments.
I don’t think you’re gonna be able to do that. Watch me. I’m gonna go buy a shit-ton of new
shoes so that I can personally put a boot up every one of these assholes’…assholes. Babe, I don’t think you know how big this
is. I mean, have you seen the parody videos? The fuck is a parody video? Just watch. Oh my god, it’s so much bigger than I thought!…Okay
we need to break up. Yeah, I know right- Wait, what? I’m famous now, and I can’t really have a
boyfriend who’s you know, not. Wait, wait, what? And besides, I’m pretty sure that you’re gay. What?! I’m not gay. If I was gay, I wouldn’t
be dating you. I’d be dating some guy. Some, like, 6’1″ 180 pound guy, who’s like, pretty
lean but definitely some muscular tone, tanned skin, dark hair, cut short but not buzz cut,
you know. Wears a lot of button-up shirts, but not crazy fancy. Takes himself seriously
but he’s not a snob. He just kind of gets me- Oh my god Than! It’s pretty clear that you’re
gay. I mean, every time that I try to have sex with you, you cry. I have allergies? To what? This? Oh god there it is. No, that’s totally awesome.
Hold it together Than. Oh my god I feel like it’s staring right at me. It’s like the eye
of Sauron. Did you shave it into the design of a Stussy? Yep. I’m gonna throw up. Oh god it winked at me. Look, Than, it’s fine if you’re gay. Just
like it’s fine if I’m famous now. We just can’t date. Like, ever again. I’m not gay! And I’m gonna prove it to you.
I’m gonna prove it the only way any heterosexual man can prove his heterosexuality. Uh, we’re finally going to have se- No, by passionately making out with another
man and not enjoying it. I’ll be back! Than bursts in, makes out with Tanner. What! Hey! Wow! So this is happening. Yep, I’m gay. What the fuck, Jonathan. Not my name. Secondly, it’s cool guys, I’m
gay now. That’s besides the point. You can’t just go
around kissing any man you want! Wow, Matthew, you of all people I would expect
to accept our lifestyle. Don’t I have civil rights? Can’t I have a dream? The fuck? Did you just try to bring Dr. King
into this? You son of a- That has nothing to do with it! You can’t just go around kissing
other boys’ boyfriends! Yeah, that’s assault, bro! It’s okay because I’m- Don’t you ever do that to me again! No, man, it’s cool, cuz I’m gay, just like
you. Man, you punch hard for a gay guy. It’s ok! I can say that! Because I am now also
equally gay! So you guys want to get some burgers or something or what are we doing? No, we would not like to go get some burgers
with you or something or what. No, guys, it’s cool, I’m gay, so we’re all
good. Listen, Jonathan, we’re glad you’re finally
able to come out, but that has nothing to do with why we don’t fucking like you. We don’t like you for a whole bunch of other
reasons. Reason number one, you’re a fucking douchebag! You also like to give nicknames to yourself.
And no one else. You also like to loiter in the boys’ locker
room. You also like to make fun of people with congenital
birth defects! Oh I get it guys. Haze the gay guy. Real classy. Jonathan, I’m gay! We know Tanner! Does everything have to be
about you? God, calm yourself, girlfriend. Don’t, don’t call me that. Wait, isn’t that something we do, like call
each other girls and shit? No, no Jonathan we don’t. What about bitch? I’ve definitely heard bitch. I’ll call you a bitch. Where is he? Where the fuck is he?! Tristan! Who did you make out with, you floozy? No, no, it’s not- Wait, did you run here from
Blue Valley? How would you even know what happened? I’m the Perez Hilton of Johnson County. I
have eyes everywhere! Now who did you make out with you harlequin? Than just came out and he kissed me. Because
he’s an idiot. You bitch! Awesome. There, now we’re even. Tristan, fine, okay, gross, now we’re even. You don’t make out with other boys’ boyfriends!
There are rules! Unless it’s agreed ahead of time there are no rules, in which case,
there are, no rules. But this is not one of those cases! If you want to make out with
other boys, just go to Grindr like everybody else! Is anybody else confused? Very much so, Blaine. Very much so. Don’t worry guys, this is very much one of
our normal Wednesdays. Toodles! Alright well, a lot of discoveries today.
I think we all grew a lot here! Guess, the only thing left is take a shower, am I right? No, you are not right, Than. We will not be
taking a shower with you today or ever. Ah well, worth a shot! Hey the nickname’s
catching on, though, that’s pretty awesome! Tanner, I’ll see you at a parade or a bath
house or whatever it is we’re doing after school! Oh my lord. Oh god. Gross. Anyway, if my White House is being attacked,
you’d better believe I want Gerard Butler rescuing me and not Channing Fucking Tatum. Oh yeah. I would venture to guess that Channing
Tatum has trouble spelling his own name. I mean, why would he know how to spell that
name? I mean, the only name dumber than Channing is Tatum. He’s got a double terrible name.
Stupid idiot name.

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