Articles Blog

Fatherhood | MPGIS S2 | Episode 3

Fatherhood | MPGIS S2 | Episode 3

And so then I told him, “Well, Coach, I guess
in the end, it was me who really respected you.” Wow, I certainly did not see that story ending
up like that! You know guys, I think it’s times like these
that I’m going to miss most of all. Wait, what? Yeah, today was my last practice you guys. Wh…why? Oh, Tanner, did you not hear. Starting next
week, I’m going to be somebody’s father. Specifically, my son’s father. And from what I hear, that’s
at least a three hour a week job! Oh, Blaine, you beautiful idiot. Saison literally
found out she was pregnant yesterday. You’re not gonna be a father for like another nine
months. Nine months? That’s like two years! Not even close. Blaine, as your friends, we support you. But realistically, we are all very much in
fear for the safety of your unborn son and/or daughter. Yeah me, too. You know, man, there’s a lot of responsibility
if you’re going to be a father. (starts getting emotional) I mean, if you’re going to be a
good father. Eh, Doesn’t seem that hard. Eating, drooling,
pooping. I love all those things! Blaine, I have an object lesson for you. Now
imagine that this football is your baby. I want you to- Goddamit! Blaine, have you given any consideration to
adoption? Why would I want to adopt a kid? I’m already
gonna have one in, wait, how long was it again? Nine months, my friend. Nine months. Blaine, serious talk right now, having a child
is a huge responsibility. Yeah! Unless of course you move to Pittsburgh
with your receptionist on your son’s fourth birthday. Then your responsibility only involves
sending a birthday card and renewing a Gamefly membership. Justin, I know you got your own issues, but
we’ve literally spent the last three weeks talking exclusively about that. Can we spend
a few minutes helping Blaine out right now? Okay. You’re right. You’re right. Now that’s being a team player. Good for you
Justin. Thanks. Alright, Blaine, I’m gonna give you another
football- Thanks! And there it goes. Blaine! Settle down. We’re going to give you
this football. But before we do, I want you to listen very carefully. Hold on to the football. Hold on to it. Hold
on to it as if were your own son. Nurture it. Care for it- Don’t move to Pittsburgh with its receptionist. Yes. Yes. Also that, Justin, yes. But above
all, do not drop it. Ever. Do you understand? Are you saying that I should treat the football
as if it was my own baby? Wow, that is literally the only thing we’ve
been saying. Aw, sweet! Well, if it isn’t the football team! Yes, Jonathan, that’s exactly what we are. Did you, did you see what I did there? I put
the emphasis on ball! Yeah we got it. Whereas it usually it goes on foot, so… Yeah, no we understand what you were trying
to do. We just do not appreciate it. Yeah, I know…so um, what are you guys doing
in here? A bunch of gay stuff? What does that even mean? Oh you know. Yeah, I do. Do you? Hell yeah I do. What, you want me to show
you? Or do you want to show me? Show you what? Oh you know! Than, is this your weird ass way of asking
me out? What?! The only thing I’m asking you out for
is to step outside. So I can pound your ass! Alright, Jonathan, now listen- Was that the goddamn baby? Can we lock this
shit down for one minute? Sorry! Well let’s not give it to him if he’s just
going to throw it again. We’ve got to figure that out first. Alright Jonathan, let me break
this down for you. I don’t know if you realize that a lot of the things you say often sound
like homosexual acts. For example, you just asked Tanner to go outside so you can pound
him in the ass. Do you see how that can be misconstrued? I meant pound his ass with my fist! Whoa, still very gay. Oh, blow me! Please. Please? There you go, see right there, that’s another
example. Fine, I’m the asshole. Just fuck me, alright!
Fuck me, I’m the asshole! Just fuck me in the asshole. You see that’s not even a double entendre.
Uh, how can he not see this? That’s just you openly inviting someone to fuck you in the
asshole. Is it? Yes it is. That is exactly what it is, yes. I don’t even know what you guys are talking
about. I love the women. I have sex with girl parts all the time! So do I! Blaine! Not really something you should be
bragging about right now. Remember the football? What football? Oh my good god lord. Don’t you ruin that kid’s life. Don’t you
ruin it! You guys don’t even know! I’ve had sex with
like twelve or two women! I could go have sex with a woman right now if I felt like
it. Please do. Please go do anything other than
be here. Fine, that’s what I’m gonna do! I’m gonna
go have sex with a girl right now. Besides, if I stayed here, you guys are probably just
gonna like get naked and measure dicks or something, right? We’re not going to do that, Jonathan. Fine, great, good, watch out women cause Than’s
had an erection for the last ten minutes! My ears will never be clean. I noticed. I’m always going to be there for you, little
guy. I’m never going to drop you. I’m going to wipe you off, I’m going to clean you, and
I’m going to let you sleep with me in my bed. I love you. Hey bitchy girl! What? What, right? What indeed. So, you’re, a, uh,
a cheerleader right? What was your first clue? Uh, your outfit. I was being sarcastic, douche. Uh, yeah, I know douche-er… than me. So
we gonna do this? Do what? Uh, sex. Gross. What the fuck makes you think that
I want to have sex with you? Whoa, what the fuck makes you think I want
to have sex with you? Uh, you just asked me. Besides, every guy
in school wants to have sex with me. Every guy in the school wants to have sex
with me. I find that hard to believe. So do they. So, you want to see me put a condom
on with my mouth? Gross. Listen, I don’t know what you’ve heard,
but I don’t just go around having sex with every guy. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but I don’t
just go around having sex with any girl…s ever. Wait, are you’re saying you don’t want to
have sex with me? Because I am very attracted to mixed messages. Are you? So, are you or are you not saying that you
want to have sex with me? I’m not saying anything. I’m just sayin’. Come here! No one tells me they don’t want
to fuck me without fucking me! Fun fact, I can ride a unicycle without a
seat. Okay, but just so you know, I only let boys
fuck me in my buttonhole, alright. That is not a problem! Just wait until Blaine hears about this. Oh yeah, I’ll be thinking about Blaine this
whole time.

100 thoughts on “Fatherhood | MPGIS S2 | Episode 3”

  1. Matthew: Okay Blaine I'm gonna give you ANOTHER football

    Blaine: Throws THANKS!

    Matthew: Aaand there it goes.


  2. โ€œJustin I know youโ€™re going through your own issues but we literally spent the past two weeks talking exclusively about thatโ€
    Me too

  3. 1:15 best part of this episode. ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I can NOT stop laughing.

  4. Blaine needs to start over. He just needs to go back to kindergarten and paying some fucking attention.

    … Jesus, I sound like brittnay when I said it out loud.

  5. Lmao!! Love it! Kicks family guys ass all around, roaring by myself ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  6. โ€œAlright Blane im gonna give you another footballโ€
    โ€œ THANKS * throws it *โ€
    โ€œAnd there it goesโ€

  7. "Was that the godammm baby, can we lock this shit down"๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  8. Itโ€™s fucking
    2:00 am
    I just found this series
    Iโ€™ve been binging
    Until this point
    And Iโ€™m
    Tobddslpelling sllhthewords wron whaaarry

  9. โ€œWow. That is literally the only thing weโ€™ve been sayingโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  10. Sorry. Jonathan is my second favorite character(second to Trisha). Like he's a major closested asshole but every scene he's in cracks me up, jfk.

  11. "Was that the god damn baby again?" Lmfao this show is too much ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  12. How are the creators two of the straightest guys I have ever seen in my life (or am I just stereotyping)?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *