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Get Out and Vote Telethon for America!

Get Out and Vote Telethon for America!


[MUSIC PLAYING] Live from Los
Angeles, California, it’s the 2018
Telethon for America, powered by When We All Vote. With appearances from Charlize
Theron, Chelsea Handler, Amy Schumer, Lil Rel, Jane Fonda,
Pharrell, Constance Wu, Kevin Smith, Natalie Portman,
Tyler Oakley, Sean Hayes, Sophia Bush, Debra Messing, Judd
Apatow, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Jessica Alba, Pete Davidson,
Whitney Cummings, Adam Devine, Paul Scheer, Judy Greer, Rosario
Dawson, Ray Romano, Foster the People, Ben Bailey, Aisha
Tyler, Iliza Shlesinger, Nick Swardson, Bob Odenkirk,
Larry King, Jeff Ross, Ashley Benson, Jim Jeffries,
Dr. Phil, and many more. Now please welcome your hosts
for the evening, Olivia Munn and Ben Gleib. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, hello, hello. Hi, everyone. Hello, everybody! Hey! Hello! And welcome to the first-ever
Telethon for America, powered by When We All Vote. We are your hosts tonight. I’m Olivia Munn and
this has Ben Gleib. That is a fact. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Olivia Munn, everybody. And Gleib, everyone. Thank you. So this is a really,
really cool thing tonight, because we are actually all
right now making history together. This is the first telethon
ever with the goal of raising absolutely zero dollars. Zero. And I promise you one
thing– we will succeed. [LAUGHTER] That’s a fact. For the next two hours,
instead of asking for money, we’re taking pledges from all
of you watching to go vote tomorrow, it’s very simple. And that’s not the only
first tonight– yeah. Big day tomorrow. They’re into it already. You can clap, don’t be afraid. We’re already
achieving our goal. [LAUGHS] Yeah. So that is a first. We’re not asking for
any money, but it’s not the only first tonight. Like all telethons, we
actually have a phone bank filled with celebrities. But in another first– Another first, everybody! Another first– he
likes saying that. They will be taking
no phone calls at all. Yeah. You’re probably
wondering then, what is the point of a phone bank? I was confused when I first
heard that to be honest. But in a twist, our celebrities
will be calling you at home. That’s right. They’re calling you guys. If you want a call from our
phone bank, all you have to do is go to TelethonforAmerica.com
during the show and complete your
pledge to vote, and then you qualify
for a phone call. This is the truth. And now if you already
voted, you’re out of luck. You should stop
watching right now. No, no, no– we actually–
we have something for people who voted already. We do have something. If you already
voted, you can still take part of this
historical night and get a call from
our celebrities. Just go to
TelethonForAmerica, click on Create your Voting Squad,
just toggle down a little bit. Form a squad, then make sure
your friends go to the polls. Yes. So once you fill out
your info, and it takes pretty much like
less than two minutes, the website tells you
your polling place, helps you make a plan,
and then tomorrow, we’ll actually text you a reminder
of your time and your polling place. This is a fact as well. Nothing you say is lies. No, I never lie tonight. You have not yet lied tonight? Tonight. For the next 30 minutes. How long is this show? I feel like you know how
long the show is, you already just lied right now. Oh. I don’t want any of you
to worry, by the way. We do have a
celebrity phone bank, but they are being kept safely
behind glass where they cannot harm you. If a celebrity does get out,
though, please, this is very serious– do not feed them. Sure, many of them
are very hungry, but it makes them aggressive. Guys, we have an amazing lineup
of movie stars, TV stars, YouTube stars, and comedians
all here for one cause– make sure that
you vote tomorrow. The comedians are here for
the free food, probably. Would you like a bite of cereal? Do I want a bite of cereal? Yeah. There’s a bite– no. No, I don’t want a
bite of your cereal. OK, it’s your loss. This is Frosted Flakes. All right, well,
maybe– maybe later. I’m just saying. Now– look, normally the
only one you see here would be like celebrities. Yes. I mean, this is true. Look, we have a bunch of
celebrity by on the phone bank, you can see them right there. But on most occasions,
the only time celebrities are asking people to vote
that strongly is when they’re campaigning for Oscars. That’s true. But tonight, it’s
just because we hope to help create
historic turnout in these crucial midterm
elections tomorrow. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yes. We want everyone to
turn out tomorrow. And with all of us watching
and pledging to vote, I think we actually have
a good shot at doing that, making history tomorrow as well. So the telethon tonight
is completely nonpartisan. It’s very important that you
guys understand that at home. I know, because I personally
begged everyone in attendance not to go off-script. This is very important
everyone knows that what’s most important
is that you vote. We don’t care who you vote
for, just that you go and vote. Yes. Every single celebrity here,
including Chelsea Handler– Yep, that was a hard one. Has promised that they
will keep it nonpartisan. Yes. For one night only,
there will be no politics in our country, just all of
us having fun and getting pumped to vote tomorrow. Yes. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Exactly. Tonight, we laugh. Tomorrow, we vote. Hey, thanks. That was beautiful, Olivia. That was very beautiful. Thank you. Like, are you crying? I’m going to cry in
a little bit inside. Crying and eating cereal. You’re awesome at this. Listen, I like to eat, I like to
cry, I’m a man of many talents. All right, well, just
lock it up for now. All right. Like lock it up, bury
it deep down inside like my mom taught me. I get it. All right, so should we
say hi to our guests? We have a bunch of guests here. Shall we do it? Yeah, come on, guys. Do you guys want to– we have
a lot of celebrity guests. Yeah. Very, very exciting. OK, Ben, would you like to take
the show over by phone banks? I’m very into it. My food was taken away from
me, so I have the time now. I’ve only gotten 22– Who eats cereal on a telethon? Is there a rule against eating
cereal during a telethon? Yeah, I think there’s a social
rule against eating cereal at a telethon. There are social rules regarding
telephone food consumption? I think so, yes. Making that up, lie number two. Lie number two, everybody. Great outfit, by the
way, I love this. And I love what you
do stealing hamburgers from Ronald McDonald. It really wonderful. Let’s go to the phone
bank, everybody. We are going here into
our celebrity phone bank, this is amazing. Look at these incredible people! We have Ariel. This is– oh my god,
hello, high five, guys. We got Jameela Jamil here,
we’ve got everybody here in the phone bank. We’ve got Eric Griffin. Oh my God we got
DangMattSmith, everybody. We’ve got an incredible
lineup right here. Hello, everybody. We’ve got Bill Bellamy, Debra
Messing, Fortune Feimster, Ike Barinholtz, holy crap! We got Tom Arnold, my
personal best friend. Ben, good to see you, buddy. How’s it going, Ben? Really good. Are you on the phone
right now with somebody? Yeah, I’m dialing
up a person here, and their name is Nicole Derimo. And they live in Salem, NH. North– Don’t give the address! You’re not going to give– –did not do that. I did not do this. –to give out the
address, I feel like that’s not the move to do. Who else do we have here? I can’t see from this angle. Hello. Hey! I’m good, how are you? Very good, thank
you for being here. Thank you for having me. I’m loving calling these
people, getting to know– I am very much
enjoying it, yeah. Thank you. Sorry to interrupt your call. Who else do we have? I can’t see from these angles. Tell us who you’re
talking to right now. I’m talking to Titus
Warren, and she’s in. She’s in! Pledge has been made. Incredible. Let’s go to the back
row here if we can. Hello! How are you? How are you? Good. What’s up? How’s it going for you so far? It’s great. I’m going over to that phone– Do it. –to make some calls for
people who pledged to vote. Thank you so much. I love that. Those are pens that Debra
Messing personally brought. I ran into her in the
restroom moments ago. Had a moment in the restroom
with Natalie Portman, Jane Fonda, and
Debra Messing and me. That was a strange
moment in my life. Hello, Ike. I miss you. I miss you too. Who are you talking to? I’m trying to get in touch
with Marsha Curtis in Tulsa, but I got a voicemail,
so I’m going to call Lindsay Campbell in Montrose. OK. And is that alcohol down there? This is– yes, yes it is. I just want to make it clear
that there is a drink here. There’s nothing wrong with that. If we’re going to
vote, give me a party, you don’t have to stay sober. –here said he’s
voting blue tomorrow, all the way down the board. OK, but even if you’re not
voting blue, voting red, we just want you to vote. Yeah. Just vote. That’s why our thing has
all the colors on it. Oh– and Dave just got his
mom to pledge the vote too. His mom was like,
ah, boo voting, but now she wants to vote. Now as she’s on board. Fortune Feimster, thank you
very much, very exciting. Whitney Cummings, we’re
here with Whitney Cummings and Debra Messing. Hello, Whitney. Oh hi, Ben Gleib,
how’s it going? Very good, good to see you. Good, good. I’m getting some
really good calls in. Who are you talking with? I talked to Robin and
Dylan and Justina, and I’m kind of bullying them
to put photos on Facebook of their voting experience. So I’m punching up the
script a little bit. I hope that’s OK. Absolutely. I feel like the
one time bullying is acceptable is when you’re
getting people to vote. I totally agree. Not very strong
boundaries over here. None at all. How are your calls going? Great. I spoke to Mary in
Georgia, and she’s bringing her
granddaughter who’s going to be voting for the
very first time tomorrow. Amazing. It’s going to be three
generations going all together. That’s amazing. So it’s awesome. Kind of like it was with
you, Jane Fonda, me, and Natalie Portman in
the restroom moments ago. All in the bathroom– how
come we didn’t get a picture? You and I got one. We didn’t get all four of us. Because Jane hadn’t finished
putting her belt on. I know. Well– It seemed inappropriate. All right. Well, you work it out. Listen, whatever’s
happening with this vote, I want to vote with y’all. This is where the voting’s
happening over here. There’s a little stuff on your
jacket, I’m getting it for you. Oh, that’s OK. That’s OK. This is incredible. I can’t hear what
they’re saying in my ear, but probably something
like I should stop talking. We’re going to toss now to
my wonderful co-host, Olivia Munn with more celebrities in
our green room, let’s do it! Hey, guys. Yes, I’m here in our green room. It doesn’t seem festive
on TV because this is what it looks like back here,
we’re just going to hang out. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] So yeah. There’s a bar, there’s
somebody taking a picture of me over here. Were you on
America’s Got Talent? Oh my god! Come over here! This guy is– I love America’s Got Talent. What– but you don’t
talk on there, right? I normally don’t
have a voice at all. –British accent! It’s a New Zealand accent. So yeah. I’m– –the same thing. I’m as partisan as you can get. All right. Do you have any bits? I’ve got a little bit later. Oh, you’re doing
something later. Later on, yeah. I didn’t look at the
rundown so I have no idea. This is so exciting. I’m here to encourage
people to have a voice and go out and use it. Yeah, so. Because he doesn’t have a voice. Yeah, I know. Well, welcome to America. OK, well that’s very
exciting to see you. You’re very, very talented. I would have voted you
all the way through, you would’ve won everything in
my opinion, you’re so funny. So there’s a lot of celebrities
that are here tonight. Everyone’s here
participating, trying to get you guys to get out
there and pledge to vote. But not everyone can make
it here today with us, so here is one of the very,
very special guys that want to say hello, Mr. Judd Apatow. Hi, this is Judd
Apatow here telling you that you need to get
involved right now. All year long people
have said, what can I do? How can I change things? How can I be a part of it? There’s no way to fix anything. Well, now’s the time when
you could do something. You can vote– yeah! You have power. You thought you had no power? Now is the time where
you have the power. Tell your friends to vote. Go to TelethonForAmerica.com,
click and help out in the ways that you can help out. You’re not powerless. This is the moment when
you could do something. So if you sit home and
you don’t do anything, then we’re in like a
situation where we’re never going to get anything
done because we haven’t done the one
thing that’s easy to do, which is to vote! Do you understand? I’m just saying, you
seem a little hateful. It seems a little– can you take it down a notch? Are we not allowed to
have emotions anymore? You’re allowed to have emotions,
but I feel like that almost went into hate speech. That’s hate speech? I’m saying your
speech was hateful. I’m not allowed– He goes low, what are
you supposed to do? So if you can vote– if you can vote, it
would be helpful. So make a plan and get
your friends to vote. So I’m not allowed
to have passion. I don’t understand. Our next guest has
two Showtime specials, and he’s host of the
podcast About Last Night. Please welcome
comedian Brad Williams. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, everyone. Thank you so much
for coming out! Are we ready to
have a good time? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Thank you, guys, for coming out. My name is Brad Williams. I’m here to tell you to
vote because voting is good. However, I am not going to
be talking about politics because I’m not smart. Some of my friends, very
smart, they talk about politics all the time. They come up to me– Brad, did you see
what happened today? No. They’re like, why didn’t
you see what happened? It was on every channel? I’m like, was it on PornHub? I was watching PornHub. [LAUGHTER] But it’s hard to watch
things about politics, and it’s hard to watch
things about the news. That’s why I’m glad
I’m doing this. This is all-inclusive,
this is everyone involved. The news divides you, because
the news tries to scare you so you’ll watch more news. They’ll say things like,
the country is divided. It’s divided. It’s not divided, all right? It’s not divided. Sure, we disagree on
a couple of things, but overall, everyone’s
on the same page. Look around the room
right now, you’ll see men, women, black, white,
gay, straight, red state, blue state– all in the same place at the
same time, and everyone right now is thinking the exact same
thing– midgets are funny. Because I don’t care
what your stance is on gun control or immigration–
nobody is anti-dwarf, OK? Nobody’s outside
right now protesting like, these stupid midgets! They’re coming into our country! They’re taking our jobs! We gotta build the curb higher! [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] In fact, that’s
the only way Trump can get a 100% approval rating. He just has to make a speech
where he’s like, listen, we’ve got the best midgets,
they’re absolutely spectacular. Unbelievable midgets,
unbeliev– everyone, they’re just– how
good our midgets are. Would you stop kneeling
for the national– oh wait, that’s a
midget, never mind. [LAUGHTER] We’re going to build
a wall, they’re going to put a doggie door
in there for the midgets, OK? That’s what we’re going to do. That’s gotta be a tough job,
though, to be president. I don’t want to be president. I don’t think we’re ever going
to have a dwarf president, obviously, because podiums, OK? They would mess this up. First day on the job and it’d
be like, and now the President of the United States. Son of a bitch! OK, like that’d be horrible. Thank you guys very much. Get out there, go vote! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OK. Oh– glitching, I’m glitching. Sorry for that delay there,
we froze a little longer than usual, but I’m back, baby! And I’m unfreezier than ever. Scott Rogowsky here for an
electastic round of trivia, all about America’s
favorite pastime– baseball. No, not baseball, I’m
talking about voting. You know, that inalienable
right you’re all going to exercise tomorrow? Right? So buckle your ballot
boxes and poll your places, because tonight’s HQ is brought
to you by XQ Super Schools. XQ is re-imagining public high
schools all across America. That’s right, Einsteins. There’s a new kid in town. And beyond tomorrow’s
election, here’s a hot tip coming at you– school
boards are an incredible way to be active and involved
in your communities all year-round, baby! Which brings me to question one. No, no, no– which brings me
to [INAUDIBLE] numero uno. How much government
moolah do school boards help direct every year? A, $100 million; B, $500
million; or C, $600 billion? Here’s a hint– go for
the biggest number. Do you give up? The answer is $600 billion. Billion with a B as in bonkers. School boards get
to push around 600 of the big bills for
our boys and girls, and XQ wants voters like
you to have a say in that. So here’s the move– text “school” to
225568 right now, toot tweet, to find out more
about your local school board and get involved. That’s right. Text “school” to 225568, or
text me if you’re lonely. Because I’m also pretty lonely. Hey, what’s up? Adam Devine here. And I think one of the
most important things to do as an American is to vote. How do we feel about that, gang? Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! We’re voting! It’s important! We’re Americans! Ladies and gentlemen, Academy
Award winner Natalie Portman. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Citizen, a
legally-recognized subject or national of a
state or commonwealth either native or naturalized. Vote, a formal expression
of opinion or choice either positive or negative
made by an individual or body of individuals. As citizens, it’s our duty
to our country, communities, family, and most
importantly, to ourselves to exercise our right to vote. This is not a right to
be taken for granted. Did you know that
women in America have been voting for
less than 100 years? This country is 242 years
old, that’s a lot of time for not having a say,
but we do have a say now. We all do. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] So tomorrow, exercise
your right to vote. Do it for yourself and for
all of those before you who never had the chance. So now we’re going to go over
to Olivia in the phone bank. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, yo, hey, what’s up? I don’t know where I’m going. Over here? Over here. Hey! So I’m in the phone
banks right now. I’ve been just kind of running
around saying hi to everybody. Everyone’s– look, all these
people have voters on the line. Oh god, got a good
call up there. All right, I’m going to go tune
in with this guy over here. Hi! Can you guys hear this? Hey, Sarah. Hi. So who are you going– who’s
your squad for tomorrow? I’ve got my two sisters,
a cousin, my best friend, and my brother’s fiance. There’s about six of
us going altogether. Wow, that’s amazing. You guys– Yes. What are you– doing anything
cool before or after? She’s going to do something
very cool, I’m sure. You let us know. Text me later. Look who’s over here. From my favorite movie
in the history of ever, Crazy Rich Asians,
Constance Wu, my sister. She’s leaving lots
of voicemails, so make sure to check
your voicemail– make sure you’re by
your phones because we have all of our celebrities
who are calling you. Calling you guys for voting
and getting your voting squad all together. Now, I think we’re going
to go back to Ben who’s on the main stage right now. Ben? Thank you, Olivia Munn,
one more time, everybody! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Well, we already said that
this is the first telethon ever with the goal of
raising zero dollars, but money might come
in, we don’t ever know. I think it’s time we check in
for the first time on our money board and see how we’re doing,
see if any money’s been raised. Let’s check in right now. On the big money board,
how much did we raise? Let’s see. How are we doing? Coming up, come on,
come on, come on! [SAD TROMBONE] OK, that’s disappointing. That is disappointing. But since the point
is not to raise money, the point is to take
pledges for people to vote tomorrow
in the midterms. So that said, we started
the show at 1,200 pledges already to come in in
just the hours leading up, let’s see where we are now. Let’s check the pledge
board, everybody. How are we doing on our pledges? Total pledges so far? A big yellow box, you guys. 3,000 pledges! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] We’ve passed the 3,000 pledge
mark, that’s incredible. Let’s take a look at
our social media board really quickly if we can. Go to the social board. #TelethonForAmerica. When you post, people are
going crazy all over Twitter, all over Instagram. Somebody here is saying,
I’m voting on Tuesday. Foothill Community Church. It’s always at churches
and children’s libraries. I don’t know why it’s
those two places mostly, there’s not a lot going on
during the week, I guess. This is very exciting. Make sure you tweet
@WhenWeAllVote #TelethonForAmerica. Tell us why you’re
voting, and tell us if you’ve made your pledge. Make your voting squad at
TelethonForAmerica.com. Now we’re going to go to
a thing and I don’t even know what it is. Oh yeah I do, I remember now. This one is important
to bring out here. She was late, a little
bit late, it’s fine. We scrambled, we figured it out. She’s a dear friend of mine, and
she has promised me personally many times that she is going
to be nonpartisan tonight. Please welcome Chelsea
Handler, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hi, everybody! Thank you all for being here. I hope you’re
having a fun night, because no one likes to
have fun more than I do. Obviously if it were up to me,
I’d like to lie in bed all day drinking margaritas
and rolling joints. I’m joking, OK? I’ve never rolled a joint. [LAUGHTER] I take edibles. But one of my dogs
can roll a joint. And the point of
the matter is that I can’t do that because life
gets serious sometimes. And I haven’t wanted
to be as serious as I have been for the
last couple of years, but I feel like we’re in
an emergency situation where we all need to
step up and we all need to get involved
in our democracy. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And this is what it’s come to. If we have to have a telethon
just to get out your vote, we will have a telethon
to get out your vote. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Only Ben Gleib would
create a telethon that doesn’t make any money. And if you’re wondering
who Ben Gleib is, the answer is, join the club. [LAUGHTER] There’s even a
magician here tonight. That’s how passionate I
am about this country, that I’m willing to work
alongside a magician. Which will now become a promise
that I’ve broken to myself. I’m here to tell
you to do something that you should already
be doing, which is voting. Voting gives you the
opportunity to use your voice and to value your voice, and to
set an example for your friends and family who want to
use their voices too. There are so many
generations of people– there are so many
generations of people that fought so hard that we
would have the right to vote. I don’t how many generations,
I don’t know how many people, but I know there were
a lot, and people died. And when that happens, we have
to look around at our own lives and pay it forward. We owe those people
who fought for us, we owe them with our votes,
and if you’re a white male who has always had
the right to vote, that I hope you vote
for all the people who didn’t have the right to vote. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Because white guys haven’t
had a great year, OK? And you kind of owe society
a favor, so pay it forward. Over 100 million
eligible voters did not vote in the last election,
plain and simple. If you can wait in line for
the new iPhone for 8 hours or in line for 20 minutes
because the McRib is back, which by the way,
where’s it back from? Back from where? Ask that question the next
time you hit McDonald’s. America spent more time
swiping right on guys on Tinder last year than it did
on voting, and that sounds like a Ben
Gleib statistic, but I’m just going
to go with it. Your future is now,
we are here to make you aware in the next two
hours of all the different ways that you can vote,
and then you can let people know how to vote. So my idea is make it fun, throw
a voting party tomorrow night, go vote, and pick up
your favorite drinks on the way home. If you’re not 21, find
somebody to get you drinks. And then everyone meet up and do
what we’re also good at, which is hanging around
shooting the shit and getting back on Tinder. Celebrate the fact that you use
your voice to make a choice. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Chelsea Handler, everybody! [INAUDIBLE] this video with me. This is Ben Gleib. This is true. We’re now going to
go to a video message from your friend, Meghan
Trainor and Daryl Sabara. Hi, everyone. My name’s Meghan Trainor. I’m Daryl Sabara. And we voted. And we’re here to
encourage you to go vote. You get really cool stickers,
and you make a difference. Please get out there and vote. Go to TelethonForAmerica.com
and make a difference. Be a good person. Vote! Vote! Hello, America. Rory Scovel here with
another voter update. So far a lot of
cars, as you can see, have been coming through
here all morning. They are going to
vote right now. Either voting early
or voting on time. And you see those cars
on the other side, those cars are coming
back from voting. This is how many people
are currently voting. I mean right there–
one, two, three. That car took a right on
red, hopefully you saw that. That is a legal maneuver
in the state of California. A lot of people voting. I’m out here making sure that
I’m getting the word out. Vote. Vote. Vote. So a lot of people are going
to vote, and a lot of people are listening to me
telling them to do that. That’s where you come in. We need you to get out
there and vote now. Don’t not vote. Definitely vote, OK? So just one more
time, quick rehash– vote. I remember the
first time I voted. I went into that booth
and you know what I did? I voted. Because voting is a part of
being a part of this world. I’m Rory Scovel, signing off. Ladies and gentlemen,
the legendary Jane Fonda. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] You know, life is
filled with choices. We make hundreds of
choices every single day. And our choices represent the
things that we believe in, right? Every choice you make says
something about who you are, even the tiny little
small choices like– never mind. I haven’t had enough beer. [LAUGHTER] See, I wanted to– well anyway, I had
another shirt on and I made a choice to
do what they told me to. The choices– the
clothes you wear, the music you listen
to, most importantly, the friends you hang
out with who love you, where you live, the words you
speak, all of these choices create the person that you are. You take great care in
choosing what represents you. So why would you not take
an equal amount of care on who represents you, right? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I mean, does that
even make any sense? Every time you go
to a restaurant, you spend 10 minutes
deciding what to order? That’s just one meal,
for crying out loud. And you go shopping and you’re
torn over what kind of a blouse to wear, what looks better. That only affects a tiny
little moment in your day. Barely one day. But what we choose to vote for– keep scrolling up. OK. What we choose to wear
just affects a little part of our lives. But elections and what we choose
to do on elections, whether we choose to vote or not can
make an effect on your life for generations to come, OK? So let’s do it, OK? Let’s do it. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] There’s never been a
more important election in my lifetime. Thank you, thank you. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, guys. It’s comedian Nikki Glaser
backstage eating a salad. I know you’ve heard it
before from everyone, but you’re hearing it from
me now– you need to vote. This is why you should vote. If you don’t vote
and stuff goes down, people are going to be
talking about it later, and then you’re going to
want to have your opinion, and people go,
well did you vote? And you’re going to go, no. And they’re going
to go, shut up. So vote so you can be part
of those conversations. Vote so you have a say– because you do
have a say in this. So make one. Go pledge your vote at
TelethonForAmerica.com now and get out there and do it. I’m excited. I’m excited to vote. You should be too. I’m voting this November because
there are too many people that I care about in this
world to not show up and say, you need to hear our voices
and you to keep us in mind when you make policy decisions. Chris Tucker. Lady Gaga. Ethel Merman? Should I vote? How will I know
that I should vote? If celebrities don’t tell me to? Kendra Komar. Angela Bassett. Kylie Jenner’s baby. Does Emma Stone
think I should vote? What about John Krasinski? Have you guys seen
A Quiet Place? The cast of Riverdale. Their silence is deafening. She’s one of the stars on
the hit Netflix show GLOW. Here to perform a song just
for you, ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Jackie Tohn. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] How about it? We gotta vote. You know what I mean? Yeah we do. All right, we’re
on the same page. Let’s go, here’s a song. [MUSIC PLAYING] Yeah. I wanna check in and
make sure that you remember that midterms are the
very first Tuesday of November. So put it on a Post-it Note. I’ve got one you could borrow. Election day is on the 6th–
oh shit, that’s tomorrow. When you do your civic duty,
yo, nothing feels sicker. If you’re not going
to do it for yourself then do it for the sticker. I cast my vote, I cast my
vote, I cast it, hot damn! Now I can gloat now, I
can gloat on Instagram! Give me a hell yeah
if you can confirm you’re gonna play your
part on this midterm. On this election day
let’s make some noise, we deserve to be heard,
our vote is our voice. Our vote is our voice. Yeah. I know you have your reasons
why you haven’t partook, but I’ve heard every single
damn excuse in the book. I’m busy! Oh, you’re a busy, boy
that brings me to tears. You can’t find 10 minutes
once every two years? I don’t know who to vote for– OK, wow. Look it up online because
you’re online right now. I got tickets to sports, yeah,
I gotta go to the World Cup. That already happened,
dude, you’re making shit up. What does it matter? What can one vote do? Every person matters,
especially you. Give me a hell yeah
if you can confirm you’re gonna play your
part in this midterm. On this election day,
let’s make some noise. We deserve to be heard,
our vote is our voice. I need you for this next part. Our vote is our voice. So check it. So get on the ball,
like volley or tether, I’m going to give you the
word, let’s say it together. Now vote! That’s the word I was
referring to, vote! Yes, you have a
choice, come on, vote! I’m going to say it so
many times right now. I said, vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Yes, sir. [LAUGHTER] Our vote is our voice. Thank you very much, please
go out and vote tomorrow. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I’m Jackie Tohn, thank you. All right. We’re here in the
celebrity phone bank. Please be sure you hashtag on
social media TelethonForAmerica and @WhenWeAllVote. We got DangMattSmith next
to Charlize Theron, one of the few events that has movie
stars side-by-side with YouTube stars. How are the calls going so far? They’re going pretty good. You know, we’re actually getting
people who are not hanging up on me, so this is positive. I love that, very nice. May I interrupt
your call, Charlize? I’m talking to Dominique right
now, you’re being very rude. I’m so sorry. Should we put her on speaker? Yes, yes. There’s the speaker phone. Dominique, hello. Hey there. How’s your experience going so
far both getting ready to vote and talking to Charlize Theron? She’s been phenomenal,
and voting today absentee was super easy. So it’s the first
time voting absentee. Love that, love that. And then why’d you come
here today, Charlize? Well, I think this
is the number– ooh, somebody’s taking
a funny picture, and I didn’t make a funny face. Dammit! Next time. This is an important time. And I feel like this– we live in a great country. And if you care about
something, you’ve got to be– you have
to step up to the plate in order to see things
change the way you want them. I love that. Thank you for being part of it. And we’ve got Tyler
Oakley as well. Oh, how are you? How are your calls going? We’re doing pretty good. We’re talking to some people. Everyone’s super
excited to vote. Love that so much. Yeah, yeah. Next to Jane Fonda. Jane, are you talking
to somebody currently? So far I’ve called one
person who wasn’t there. Are you leaving messages? Oh yeah. That would be a great
message for them to get. Yeah, I know. This isn’t my first rodeo. [LAUGHS] Love it very much. We’re also here with
Natalie Portman, everybody. How are your calls going? I know you got some
messages of her. I’m on the phone
with someone now. You got a live one? Dennis in Buffalo. Dennis in Buffalo. Sorry, we’re on YouTube
live right now talking. Do you want to bring them
live on the speakerphone? Can we ask him? Oh, they’re asking if you can– if you’re willing– no, no. He does not want to be live? Yeah, no. But– I guess it’ll be a private
conversation, I guess. Yes. [LAUGHS] I understand. We’re going to then
kick to another video. Thank you. I don’t mean to interrupt
your private moment. Well done. We’re going to now go to a very
special episode of Dr. Phil. [APPLAUSE] And what I want to say
is to everybody, Democrat or Republican, get out and vote. Vote, vote, vote! Hear my voice–
get out and vote. Tell everybody you know to vote. Tell everybody you know to tell
everybody they know to vote. For two years we’ve all been
listening to everybody whine and cry on both sides. The Republicans say, oh,
we inherited such a mess, we need time. Then get out and vote
yourself two more years. All the Democrats say, oh
my god, Trump was elected, I need therapy! Then get out and vote and
take over the House and Senate and kick his ass to
the curb, I don’t care. Do something about it. You’re not victims! [APPLAUSE] Nobody is a victim. If you don’t like it, vote. I’d better see “I
Voted” stickers on every one of you Tuesday. After Tuesday. In fact, wear it for
the rest of the year. If you don’t, I’ll
have every one of you 5150’d and I’ll put you here. I would continue this
self-righteous sanctimonious rant, but I have to go vote. Democrat, Republican,
libertarian, independent, abducted daily and I don’t
care, it doesn’t matter– just go vote. Visit TelethonForAmerica.com
for more information. Goodbye! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Dr. Phil, you guys. That guy really has a message. Well I don’t care if you’re
a Martian or a non-Martian, just go vote. It’s beautiful to be part
of the cause right now. You guys are very
pro-Dr. Phil and you’re upset at me right now
for doing the impression. Was it a bad impression? Is that what the problem was? Or you just hate
that I would even touch the hallowed
ground of Dr. Phil? We don’t know which one it
is, the crowd’s angry now. Our next guest is coming fresh
off the vote and the number one romantic comedy of the year,
please welcome Constance Wu. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, guys! How are you all doing today? Everybody good? Everybody gonna vote? Yes! I am Constance Wu and I star
in the hit movie Crazy Rich Asians. You know, I was born
and raised in America and yet Crazy Rich
Asians was the first time I had ever seen a modern
day love story starring an Asian girl who spoke
American English the way I was speaking American English,
because that girl was me. So I was so proud to be a part
of it because in this country, the Asian-American
voice isn’t heard a lot. We’re changing that. But I know that there are so
many other different Asian Americans who should be heard
and represented and included, and I want to be
honest with you– Hollywood’s not the easiest
place to do that in. I mean, I was like a
waitress for over 10 years before I made it as an actress. But an easier way you can make
sure you represent yourself as an American is if you vote. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Being a voter is the most
American thing you can do. Participating in the process. Doesn’t matter what party you’re
in, what state you live in, that participation is our power. It’s like our
community because it’s how we can all be
in this together, even when we are different. So I hope everybody
out there, you realize how lucky you
are to live in America. I love America, I
love my country. I love my hometown of Richmond,
Virginia; my high school, Douglas Southall Freeman;
and I love being American, I hope you do too, and I hope
you really show up on election day the way y’all showed up at
the box office for our movie, Crazy Rich Asians. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And a special word for
Virginians, my home state. Virginia is for lovers
and I love you Virginians. Y’all are the best and I know
how much you value your vote. So I hope you become a voter,
make a plan, have a party, and have another party. Y’all are the best. Thank you very much. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I am here with Lana Parilla
and Katherine McNamara here on the phone bank,
it’s very exciting. Jane Fonda still making
calls like crazy. Debra Messing– Whitney
Cummings has someone that– what’s the story here? OK, Steve, I’m about
to put you on speaker. Hold on. How does– I don’t– sorry, I don’t know how
to use these phones. The speaker button, Whitney. My god. Hey, Steve! Steve, will you tell everybody
how many people you’re bringing to the polls tomorrow? I’ve got eight seats
in my car, and I’ve got a couple of
neighbors, I’ve got three people that are voting
for their first time ever. Whoa! And where do you live, Steve? Where do you live, Steve? Just outside of Cincinnati. Outside of Cincinnati. Eight people coming
to the polls. That’s almost too many
voters, to be honest. Full first time voters. Love that so much! That’s why we are
here, and now we’re going to check in on
how many pledges we’re getting, because despite the
amount here in the phone bank, the real pledges take place
on TelethonForAmerica.com. So I’m going to kick it to the
very lovely Olivia Munn, who’s also a liar, but
she’s a great person, on the main stage check
in with our pledge totals. Both things are true. So we want to check in
on how much money we have raised so far. Our goal is zero, let’s
see if we’ve made it. Americans [SAD TROMBONE] Come on, you guys! Keep the bar low, you
always make it over. So far we have
raised zero dollars. Let’s see how many– the number of total
pledges so far, 7,021. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And social, now we’re
going to go to the social. So everyone look, there’s
pictures of me then. I think I’m supposed to
read all these to you guys. OK, so I’m voting on
Tuesday, remember. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. These people–
everyone’s voting. This is great. This is all the social. You guys know it. It’s social media. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m
very excited to present our next presenter. Please welcome Academy Award
winner and humanitarian, Charlize Theron. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] So the world is a pretty
intense place right now. Yeah. And elections affect the world. And if things don’t
go the right way, it could lead to
more and more chaos. Now if the apocalypse should
happen, I will be just fine. I’ve been down that
fury road before. But I fear for all of you who
are not Furiosa-level warriors. If you don’t get out there
and vote, who knows what the future will hold. I can’t be there to
protect all of you. And looking at this crowd, yeah. You all know you need my help. Still not registered? Well, in 17 states
and Washington, DC, they offer same-day
registration. So you have no excuses. Those states are on the
bottom of your screen. Pledge to vote and
make your voting squad at TelethonForAmerica.com. So you don’t have to find out
if you survive the apocalypse that I would totally thrive
in for years and years with one arm. So come on, let’s
not find out, OK? Go vote! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Ladies and gentlemen,
now a video message from the former President
of the United States. Hi, I’m Julia Louis-Dreyfus,
America’s sweetheart. And I’m encouraging you to vote. Bring your friends,
bring your enemies, bring your frenemies with you. The point is, we all have a
vote and we all need to use it. Pledge your vote to
TelethonForAmerica.com now. Thanks! Hi, everyone. It’s Alyssa Milano, and
I guess you know already that I am kind of known for
showing up in random places. But I’m going to
make you a promise. If you don’t vote
in this election, I promise you that I will show
up behind you at a local coffee shop. Your parent
teacher’s conference, I’m going to be there. And while you’re brushing
your teeth at night, I’ve done it before
and I can do it again. Seriously, though– just vote. Please. And bring a friend. Pretty please. Now please welcome the
stars of The Honeymoon Stand Up Special, Natasha
Leggero and Moshe Kasher. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, 18 to 25-year-olds. I’m Natasha Leggero. And I’m Moshe Kasher. And we are a married couple. And we’re also– Aging hipsters. You remember hipsters? They’re the group everybody
blamed for the world’s problems before they started blaming you. A recent study has shown
that only 22% of Millennials voted in the last election. That statistic is
not fact-checked, I made it up myself. But we’re here tonight
to change that, and not just by
condescending to you. That’s why we’ve entered into
a limited partnership with Lyft and Uber. And by limited, we mean
that they have not signed on to be involved in any way. But we do both drive for Uber
to supplement our comedy income. I actually drive for Lyft,
I wasn’t approved by Uber. Now if you’re a Millennial
and unsure about voting, we will send an aging
hipster like Natasha or I in a Lyft line
or an Uber pool, which is all we can afford, to
pick you up and accompany you to your local polling place,
just as long as you vote. Well kind of. A lot of people
tell you it doesn’t matter who you vote for so
as long as you get out there and vote. But we actually
totally disagree. We would like you to
vote for the candidates and measures that align with
the things that we agree with. That’s right. If you’re going to
vote against what we want, stay home and
smoked dabs or whatever. Now if you think Drake’s first
album is old school hip hop, we are talking to you. [LAUGHTER] Glad we finally got a laugh. If you refer to yourself as
a brand, this is for you. [LAUGHTER] If you believe that there’s
ever been a talented Vine star, we are talking to you. [LAUGHTER] Call now if you want to
be a part of this very special program. And if you’re on the
fence and it helps, I’ll also give you a
handjob in the Uber. [LAUGHTER] Or like depending
on what you’re into, I can give you the handjob. Mosh, I think that
might be a bit much. You don’t want someone to
write an open letter about you. Millennials love to
communicate via open letter. OK, you’re right. Well just call now,
everybody call now. Thank you. Thank you, America. Thank you. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And now, from Grey’s
Anatomy, Kelly McCreary. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, America! Tomorrow! At last, we all vote. Look, I can appreciate that
sometimes life gets in the way. I get busy too, but I promise
that whatever obstacles you have to overcome to
get to your polling place will be worth it. It’s the future of our country. And sure, voting isn’t quite as
simple as the push of a button, but if you go right now
and hit just a few buttons, we can help the process
get a little easier. And you go through life
pushing buttons daily. On your phones, on your remote
controls, on your shirts– OK, not really on your shirts,
there’s no buttons there usually that you push. But the point is, you
push a lot of buttons. So please, go push a few
buttons tonight at our website, pledge to vote. Make a voting plan, and then
press a few more tomorrow at your local polling place
where your button pushing earns you a shiny new sticker. And who doesn’t
love a new sticker? OK, thanks. See you tomorrow at the polls. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I am voting this November
because my vote counts, and it matters. It matters for women, it
matters for people of color, it matters for discriminated
marginalized groups, it matters for the people who
came before us who did not have that voice
and opportunity, it matters to the
folks right now who are indigenous, our
youth who are not able to use their voice. My vote is for all of
that and so much more. Americans Pop Quiz. Poppa Scott Rogowsky here again. Pop a squat with Poppa Scott. I’m at HQ Studios in Nuevo York. Question two– did
global superstar Charlize Theron do the Telethon
for America because A, she really cares
about democracy; B, she’s secretly in love
with Scott Rogowsky and wants to get
close to him; or C, that makes no sense because
we’re not in the same place, and even if we were,
I’d have no chance. Tallying the scores. 100% of you said C, that makes
no sense because we’re aren’t in the same place,
and even if we were, I would have no chance. Ouch! I’m not going to lie,
that one hurt a little. Back to you in LA
where I was not invited to be within a
certain number of feet from certain celebrities. We are back. And we’re back already? I’m just told we’re back. Give it up for that brief
tape package, you guys. People supporting from
across the country, and give it up for Olivia Munn,
who’s back on stage with me. How are things going? We’re almost at
the halfway mark. This has been awesome. Are you guys having fun? What’s it like– wow! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] They seem to be
enjoying themselves. A lot more fun than
the green room. The green room is– awkward. Is it awkward in there? Everyone’s kind of staring
at one screen together. Yeah, but you can
see the stage, it’s just we’d rather
look at the screen Yeah. It’s strange. I told you– People back there, are
they drunk already? Is it the open bar? Is that the problem? No. Maybe that’s the problem. Alcohol– no. They’re not drunk! No, the fact that they’re
not drunk is the problem. No, I’m saying they’re not drunk
and they’re having more fun. I’m saying, alcohol
isn’t everything, Ben. This is actually a whole
night just for you. We want to talk to you. Your alcohol has affected our
lives in the following ways. Listen, I don’t think
it’s a problem– We’re going to go left to right. Olivia, I only drink to avoid
my problems or when I’m alone. Is that a problem? No, that’s actually OK. That’s– It’s OK? That’s what I do. All right, good. We’re going to
now do a game that will be hosted by Olivia Munn. This game might be a little
bit similar to the Heads Up. What’s that? It’s basic– it is Heads Up,
but it’s called the Civil Words. It’s called Civil Words. They’re like– they’re like,
it’s kind of like Heads Up. I’m like, so what do you do? They’re like, oh,
somebody has a word, you gotta try to get
them to say it like– isn’t this called Heads Up? They’re like, yeah, but
we call it Civil Words. We didn’t want any
copyright problems. You just don’t. I don’t know if
you realize that. But we didn’t steal it, we’re
borrowing it for America. That’s the great excuse
we can use at this. Are you ready to start the game? I’m ready. You’re ready to do it? I’m excited. All right. Please welcome you now to
the stage, Debra Messing, Whitney Cummings,
Fortune Feimster, and Jameela Jamil, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Brody Stevens and– Super excited. There’s Jameela. Jameela, come on up! I like that you
just ran up here. Brody Stevens is
here for no reason. Brody, what are
you doing up here? They said, do you want
to be a part of it? I said, you got it. Yes! Enjoy it. Enjoy, push, get out and vote. One of the great
comedians, Brody Stevens, round of applause, everybody. Olivia, take it away. Do you guys know–
you guys pick teams. Oh, we’re on teams? Yeah, you have to pick teams. OK? How many people– Oh no, that’s OK. You can be– I’ll be on Jameela’s team. Yeah, OK. I dragged Jameela here. She’s not even
American, so she’s like trying to figure
out what’s happening. Because of how it’s
situated, though, we’ve worked this out in rehearsals. We need you guys to
not look at each other. No, no, no– you’re on– no. Are these working? You guys are– We’re just actors and
comics, we don’t even– Team– This is the– yeah, actors
and comics against each other. Sorry, I just
touched your boobs. We’re about to play
shirts versus skins. So no– teammates go
on the other side. So Debra’s going to– Debra’s here. Now where– who’s your teammate? I don’t know. OK, you’re going to be– Fortune’s going to be
your teammate right here. Hi! That’s– and then Whitney. OK. There you go. You guys are teammates. Now look at each other. OK. Oh, like this? Oh! Yeah. Like this. This is what happens when
there’s no time for rehearsal, you guys. OK. It’s pretty simple. You heard of the game before,
but we call it Civil Words. But basically it’s
like, you know, that we’re going to display
a word on the back wall. OK. A political word. A political– famous
political word or phrase. OK. And then your teammate has to
do their best to try to describe that word without saying it,
blah, blah, blah– you know, like– So we’ll be facing– so I won’t be able to see
the word and you’ll be– No, but you actually
have to face this way because we can see that– there’s a glass
screen back there. Oh, got it. –can’t see this, but
there’s a glass screen that projects back to the word. OK. They didn’t really think
about that with this game. All right, so now you guys
have to look this way. Where are we looking
for the word? Just look at each other– no. You guys, you guys
are giving the clues, you guys are guessing. Right. We’re guessing? OK. Should it be that way? Or do you guys
wanna switch around. Whatever you want. All right, you guys
are giving the clues. Ready. All right. And then so I have
to say it before– I have to guess
it before Fortune. OK. Most of this game is
this position here. There you go. Most of this game is just
in this position here. We tried this earlier. Are you going– –going to guess. Is it one at a time or– One at a time and
you get as many– One at a time. But first you two. Do you want to guess? I want to guess. You want to guess. Well then this
microphone is broken. Don’t use this. Have you guys noticed that? Yeah. OK, yeah. I can tell they’re annoyed
by this microphone. Fair enough. Here, use a different one. Why is it– there’s something
wrong with this mic, guys, sorry to micromanage. –spot to you. Good pun right
there, I like that. It’s annoying, right? Mic-romanage? Did you get it? Your now teammate– I’m a teammate? So I’m going to bow
out and butt in. Sure. Here we go. I’m going to be a cheerleader. Guys– [ARGUING] I’m a professional
game show host, let me try to fix this here. OK. We’re about to put
words up on the board. You’re going to describe
them to Fortune, and she has to guess it first. She cannot look. Here we go. –either. Whitney right. Oh. Now this is just Deborah
and Fortune’s turn. Oh, shh. Tell me when. Have fun, guys. OK. In Florida during
the Al Gore recount, they were recounting what? Ballots. They were– Votes. If there are– you weren’t– You’re cheating! Whitney’s cheating! What do you– things that– Say something, Debra. Oh my god! Oh my god, it’s a country
in the Middle East. Pass. Israel. Pass. Iraq. Is it Iraq? Can I pass? –pass, pass, pass. OK. OK. This is when they
redistrict states. Gerrymandering. Yes. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Fortune! Hey you guys, keep
going, keep going! There’s more! You’ve got to keep– Well done. Next one, next one, next one. Flip it, flip it. Next word, you guys. Next word on the board. I have no fucking idea. [LAUGHTER] Switch. Amazing. Next word, please. OK. OK, OK. This is how President
Trump won the election. Not by the popular vote– Russia! No, but– [LAUGHTER] Sorry, I just knew
you were in the dark. That’s amazing. This is not a
university, it is a– A college. Yes. Electoral college. That’s correct There you go. OK. And that is your time. That’s your time. So you’ve gotten two– I think you got two, right? Is that right, Olivia? They got two. They got two. Not great, not great. Not great, but pretty good
considering how we started. That’s true. But also, Fortune,
though, because she got one right and just started
screaming for about an hour and missed valuable time. You celebrated early. A victory is a victory. You haven’t even won yet. You have one point. But I’m a winner. Because I’m with Debra
Messing, so I’m a winner. Fair enough. We’re going to go now to
Whitney Cummings and Jameela. Are we doing this? Now it’s Brody and Whitney. OK, here’s what I’ll say. Jameela is not
American, so this game could get pretty hilarious
if we play it with her helping with the clues. But Brody should do it because
Brody will actually know. I might know. You guys can do it
together, right? I’m from America
and I don’t know. Am I guessing? Do it for America! Guys, you couldn’t be making
choices any slower here. You are giving the clues? You tell me. You give the clues. OK, you do the actions, great. And you’ll be right here. You should know shit. –giving clues, you
stand right here. So I’m guessing? And you have to
guess, all right? And Brody will be here. You help her get through this. Here we go. I’m just going to cover it. Here we go. Here we go. And your 45 seconds. Jameela Jamil and
Brody Stevens, clues, guessed by Whitney
Cummings begins. How many do I– how many– I only have to beat two. Two. Not hard to do. And the rule just changed
that you guys are allowed to yell out the answer– Bullshit, that is not true. They just told me
they changed it. That was a clever move. Your 45 seconds
begins right now. Hey. Oh, we’re still in the
middle of the game, guys. We’re in the middle of the game. Oh yeah, right. Here we go. I’m just storing this. How about words? We need words up there. Just grab a flag, do something. Guys, we need words
on the screen. You see how that works? The game does not
work without words, otherwise we’re just
looking very stupid. [LAUGHTER] Russia has hacked the game. Russia’s hacked
the game, you guys! How did this happen? They’ve broken
into our mainframe. Can we get words on the board
or is that not possible anymore? Do we [INAUDIBLE]? Well I think you guys
are– here are the words. –lifetime for a
moment like this. Oh wait, back on. Here are the words coming up. Please never sing again, please. Wait. Some people wait a lifetime– Wait, what is she doing? OK. We have those. Hanging Chad. OK. Oh, good one. A Democrat. President. Politician. It’s a– It’s a box. It’s– like, what do you– a receipt when you eat? It’s called– You’re not– Register. No. You’re not left, you are– Right. Conservative. Someone Clinton. Hillary Clinton? No. Go back. These words together,
they’re only different words. Put the words together. Hillary Clinton. The other guy. Bill Clinton? Yeah. And what’s the opposite of left? These guys are
playing right now. And your time is up with zero. Oh! Oh! Very sad. The Bill of Rights. Hold on! Hold on! No, no, no, no. No! I demand a recount. Victory! You would just say the thing
that’s before the Constitution. We’re putting you out
of your misery now, let’s go to a tape please. What the hell was
that, you guys? Thank god this is for America. I’m voting this November
6th because it is not only important, but crucial
that our younger generations get involved in the choosing of
our policies and government officials. [MUSIC PLAYING] So, you have a
movie idea for me? Yes, sir, I do. So I was thinking we can
make a sequel to the– Sorry, did you say sequel? Yeah, I did. I’ll take it. But I didn’t even say what– I said I’ll take it. What’s your next idea? Well, I had this idea to
launch a cinematic universe– Cinematic universe? Yep, sold, I love it. Well, OK. Well I guess– [SNEEZES] Whoa, definitely want that. That was a sneeze. Whatever, I’m making
that into a movie. What else you got? Honestly, nothing. I didn’t think you’d
be in such a good mood. No, I’m in a great mood. Everybody here is
going out to vote, so I’m going to have
the office basically to myself for a couple of hours. What? Yeah, all these morons
are going out to vote. Meanwhile, I’m going to be
here doing that underwear slide from that Tom Cruise movie. Risky Business. No, it’s completely safe. Never mind. But sir, I really think
you should go vote too. Yeah, I mean, my secretary
made sure I got registered, but I’m not really into it. I don’t really get how you
can’t be into democracy. Because it’s dangerous? Oh, not sure what
you’re talking about. Last time I went to vote I
stubbed my toe on the way out of the polling station. Whoops. Whoopsie. Not really sure that was the
fault of democracy, though. Well– I just think it’s
important to help shape the future of the nation. Eh, I don’t know, that
sounds pretty difficult. Actually, it’s super easy,
barely an inconvenience. Oh really? Yeah, you just make
sure to go vote. Well OK then, I guess I’m in. Amazing. But if I stub my toe,
we’re not making any of those movies you pitched. Fair enough, I guess. Except that sneeze idea,
I liked that a lot. That wasn’t anything. Sneezing is tight. OK, but– And now, please welcome
master illusionist and world-renowned
magician, Jade Taylor. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] It’s a little awkward. No, not a magician. I’m an actor on a TV show
called The Magicians. Yeah. OK. Yeah, that’s really
uncomfortable. Yeah, I wish I had a card
trick or something to do, but I don’t really
have anything. I don’t really know
how to alter reality. Actually, you know what? I do. There is one way, and that
is to go out there and vote. The real magic is
happening tomorrow at the polls when
you vote and see the mystical power of
democracy in action. You have the magic
and power to pick who you want to lead our
country into the future. Yeah, you can pull that
rabbit out of your own hat. All right. So, since I don’t
have any magic, do you guys want to
see a real magician? Yeah? All right. Ladies and gentlemen, and
whichever pronoun you prefer, I give you Adam Trent! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] How’s it going, everybody? How’s it going? [INAUDIBLE] and bills,
a box of playing cards starts as just a piece of paper. When they come together,
[CLICKING SOUND] and look– [GASPS] it becomes [INAUDIBLE]. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Jade, I’m going to have
you help [INAUDIBLE] All right, yes. What can I do? I’m going to fan these
cards out like this. You can see these
cards are different. Get a nice tight shot of this. Get a nice closeup shot of this. Jade, go ahead and name
anyone– we’ve not set this up. We’ve not– No, no. We’ve not set this up. OK. No. Name any one of these cards
you want that you see. OK. I’m going to say
the jack of hearts. The jack of hearts. That one right there. Jade, once this is
finished, you say, what would’ve happened if
I were to change my mind? So I’ll give you the chance
right now to change your mind. Do you want to change your mind? Well, I mean, now you’re
making me second-guess myself. Should I change my mind
or should I keep it? Keep it. OK, we’re going to keep it. Jack of hearts. So you want the jack of hearts,
that’s what we’re going to use. Jade, hold it in
your hand face-up, I’m going to put it
right there, don’t move. Stay right there. Watch. On the back these cards are
written the most common excuse of the ones who don’t vote. This is a survey from
my friends we have. Busy, I was busy. Come on, right? We have a I don’t care. We have lazy. We have not informed. We have, oh I forgot. We have confused. We have, my dog died. We have, it won’t
make a difference. We have, I don’t know how. But Jade, when you
chose the jack of hearts out of all the options, out of
all the reasons to not vote, there’s something written on
the back of your card as well. Turn it over, show
it to the camera. Vote, ladies and gents. [LAUGHS] [INAUDIBLE] Yes. OK. [INAUDIBLE] Wow, that was magical. Watch the shirt. Give a little shake
like this, little rub– What? Now that is magic. Yes, absolutely. So make sure you get out there. When We All Vote, make sure
you guys are voting tomorrow. Thank you so much,
that was incredible. I’ll give you those back. Thank you. Yes, that is amazing. All right, all right. So we are going to
pass it back to Ben. I’m not sure quite
where he is, though. He’s in the green room,
that’s where he is. We’re going to pass it
to Ben in the green room. Maybe. Thanks, guys. [MUSIC PLAYING] This is an amazing
vibe right here. You guys him to keep going? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] We’re here in the green room,
this guy’s pumping his fists. That proves it, he’s
going like this. It’s an incredible vibe. Well I don’t know what this
is happening right here. I do know what’s happening–
this is DSharp, everybody! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] YouTube sensation,
brilliant violinist. IAmDSharp on YouTube. OK, just a little
close to my eye. Are you having fun here? I’m having so much
fun, thank you so much. What is the reason that
brings you out here today. The most important
reason of them all. To get out tomorrow and vote. I mean, what– What were you going to say
to the mini-sandwiches, we have little sandwiches. I mean, we’re also here
to rock out– though, the sandwiches are– Delicious sandwiches. We’re also here to rock
out enjoy some music and just have fun,
but the main reason is to get your voice
heard and make it happen. I love that. Pick it up again and
get the vibe back. Well over here, we’ve got
Paul Scheer, everybody. Let’s get away
from this monitor. Yes. How are you? I’m coping very hard. It’s so nerve-wracking tomorrow. It is like a scary
version of Christmas. I know it’s coming, I’m
excited, but I’m also nervous. What are we going to get? We don’t know. We don’t know what
we’re getting tomorrow. You never know what’s going
to happen until the election totals are counted. This is my third bottle. This is my third bottle. I’m not drinking
until the booths flow. It sounds delicious. I don’t know if I’m
allowed to take a– Do it, do it! Chug! Finish that whole
bottle right now. Because here’s the good
thing about alcohol, no matter how the election
goes, you’re happy or sad, you could still drink. Here we go. We vote for him to drink. Go, go, go! Yeah. I’m of age, I’m
allowed to do that. You want one? Sure, why not? Paul Scheer, everybody. And now we’re going to kick
it back to the celebrity phone bank to check in on our totals
with Olivia Munn, let’s do it. Olivia? Hayden? Hayden. Panettiere? Oh hey. I was talking to
Hayden right now. Amber Demoss in Quincy,
Illinois, you rock. Amber Demoss rocks. Amber Demoss. Fortune? I’m on hold. Yeah, they put me on hold,
they had to make dinner. I said I’d wait. How long are you
going to wait for? I’m going to give
them two minutes. Two minutes. Make a quick dinner. Hi. I’m just talking
to Molly Chapman. I’m with Olivia Munn right now. I don’t if you’re
watching it live. What’s up? Molly Chapman is
in– where are you? In Diamond Bar, California. And you’re pledged
to vote, correct? Yes, excellent. Dame Whitney Cummings. She insists that we call her
Dame Whitney Cummings for this. Thank you, Lucas, love you. Lucas Anderson. He said he loves me
too, thank you, Lucas! I’m making a lot of friends. Lucas is taking two first-time
people to vote tomorrow. I talked to somebody
who is bringing eight people in their Subaru. Very inspiring. Debra Messing, super– and
who are you talking to? Let’s call somebody else. Sathya. Sathya– and he already voted. Which is awesome, yes. We’re calling
Courtney in Phoenix. Let’s see if Courtney
in Phoenix answers. Very close race, so it’s
really, really important– important for
everybody to show up. Let’s see if we can
get [INAUDIBLE].. Sweet. Is Whitney Cummings– hi! Is Whitney Cummings’
new engagement ring blinding anybody? Because it’s blinding me. I’m very happy for you. It looks like happiness. Very sweet boyfriend. Sophia Bush over here. But I really appreciate
that you’re committing to happiness and joy. Therein lies the problem. –come to vote. I’m very proud to have
lived there for four years. How are you? We’re going to
send it back to Ben right now on the main stage. We’re going to do a– we’re going to get
a big calculation on how much money we have
raised, hoping it’s zero. Thank you. We can only hope when it
comes to something like that. One more time for our
celebrity phone bank. Sophia Bush right
there, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Whitney Cummings. Nina Dobrev was just talking
to an 18-year-old first-time voter, we’re going to try and
get her back on the phone. But the real reason we’re here
today is the money, you guys. We want to do whatever we
can to raise that money. We’re going to check
in on our money board. I’ve been let down so far, but
the show has been progressing, time has passed. Maybe it’s a different
result. Let’s check in and see how much
money we raised. Come on. Let’s try to quantum this. How much money have we raised? Let’s go to the board! The grand total– dammit! Dammit, it’s always
zero dollars, I don’t like that at all. But I guess we’re also here
trying to make sure everybody votes and we have a great
historic turnout tomorrow and that we actually use the one
little thing in our democracy that’s important to make
sure that we use our voice, because a lot of times, people
try to squelch your voice and the one thing we’ve
got to do is 10 minutes, so that’s also a part of it. So that considered, let’s check
in and see how many pledges we are up to of people
to vote tomorrow from TelethonForAmerica.com. Our pledge total– 12,547 pledges, that’s
what I’m talking about. Not bad at all. The 2016 election was decided
by just 77,000 votes, you guys, so that’s a pretty big thing. Let’s check in on our
social media board and see how we’re doing, what
people are saying on Twitter. Using my power as
an American citizen to represent the
Latino community and voting on Tuesday, November
6th, get ready to vote. Vote.WhenWeAllVote.org;
@WhenWeAllVote, #TelethonForAmerica
from Idallisa_Polanco. I love that. Give it up for
Idallisa, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Somebody voted by
absentee ballot, so that’s awesome, but doesn’t
affect us today at all. Telethon for America dropped
off our ballots today. This telethon is awesome,
#vote from Diana Slaughter, killing it @dzigns. I’m voting on Tuesday, November
6th at the Mills House. Get ready to vote– .whenweallvote.org, When We All
Vote that Telethon for America is having. We got a photo there somebody
posted of the great Jane Fonda speaking on stage–
or she choking? Is she all right? I missed that moment entirely. Julia Louis-Dreyfus,
former President of the United States of America,
someone’s reposting that. Repost everything tonight
because this is being carried live on the streams of many
of our celebrity participants. Live on my social media, live
on Olivia Munn’s social media. Eric Griffin’s in the house,
you might be seeing more of him in a second. We’ve got it live
on Funny or Die, live on Comedy Central’s social
media and ComedyCentral.com. We got it live on
Ellen’s YouTube page. Everybody’s
supporting the cause. We’ve a reach of now of over 90
million people watching this. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And on that note,
please welcome the man with the best mustache in show
business, we’ve said it before and we’ll say it again,
the star Workaholics and I’m Dying Up
Here, Eric Griffin. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, everybody. Little-known fact, you
don’t have to vote. However, you also don’t
have to get a root canal. Or you don’t have to brush
your teeth, but if you you, you’re going to have
to get a root canal. And right now, we need to get
with the program, America. This is a root canal time. Think one vote doesn’t matter? James M. Scott won his seat
in the Virginia legislature by a single vote, and then
they called him “Landslide Jim” for the rest of his life. It’s pretty funny. Early on in US
history, only adult, white, property-owning
males were allowed to vote, which pretty
much describes Congress now. You want to change that? You gotta vote, right? And 1870 saw the arrival
of the 15th Amendment. This granted the right to vote
for all men, but notably not women. However, the great
state of Wyoming, still a territory at
the time, gave women the right to vote, which
was the first and last time someone said, damn,
Wyoming, you progressive! [LAUGHTER] Despite all this
progress, the US has one of the lowest voter
turnouts in any developed nation. In the 2016 election,
America placed 26th out of the 32 countries
in the Organization for Economic Development. 26th, that’s pretty wack. America’s number one. But the only way we can
get that foam finger is by voting tomorrow. And speaking of
foam fingers, I was supposed to be at the
Clipper game right now, but I’m doing my
part for my country. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] So guys, get out there and vote
tomorrow and make a difference! Thank you. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Thank you so much. I’m here. That’s not a white
noise machine, that’s my baby monitor. I’m here to tell you to vote
on Tuesday, November 6th. Please exercise
your right to vote, it is your fundamental
American right, it’s going to affect your life,
your future, your community, your children. Please vote, it is not a
partisan position thing, just exercise your right to vote,
it is an incredible privilege that we have in this country. So please vote this Tuesday. Hopefully this means
something to you. Bye. Hello, America. Adam Carolla here reminding
you to get out and vote. It doesn’t matter who,
but it does matter when. It’s Tuesday. And also check out
TelethonForAmerica.com. Thank you, and mahalo. Well today’s the day. Well, I mean, Tuesday’s the day. The day that you finally put an
end to the craziness by voting. You’re going to
vote, you can do it. You just move one foot
and then the next foot, and then you move your
hands a little bit and you have to use your
eyes, and see the ballot, and then you mark it,
and then you put it in, and everyone will smile at you
and you’ll get the sticker, and you will have tried,
you’ll at least have tried. So get out there and vote. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] From Life in Pieces and many
other things that I know you guys have loved, please
welcome Zoe Lister-Jones. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Thanks, Olivia. Hi, everybody. I’m Zoe Lister-Jones. You know, so much focus is
placed on federal elections, we tend to forget
that local, city, and state races have a
huge impact on you at home. Local elections affect
infrastructure, health care, taxes, zoning laws, roads,
hospitals, fuel prices, education, police
departments, fire departments, water and sanitation services,
parks and recreations– it’s really quite a list,
but hey, they don’t call me Zoe Lister-Jones for nothing. Hey-oh! Thank you very much,
thank you very much. So get to know some of your
local offices and officials, find out what they do, and
see how their work affects you and your community
at a website like www.usa.gov or many others. Voting is something
you can be proud of and an example you can
set for others to follow. So vote tomorrow,
and I will put you on my good citizen list, my
new friend list, my email list, and maybe even my list of lists. You want to know what
that list is, you’ll have to vote to find out, baby. OK. Oh, and listen– when
you’re at the polls, make sure to take a selfie
and post it with the hashtag #PosttheVote, and you’re
going to have all sorts of celebrities double-tapping. You might even get a repost, OK? And if you don’t vote, then
you’re just on my shit list, I’m just saying. OK. Thank you very much. Get out the vote, people. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome to the stage, Mary McCormack and Chelsea Handler. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I’m Mary McCormack,
and this is my bestie. I’m Chelsea Handler. And even though we look alike
sometimes and talk alike sometimes, Chelsea and I
live very different lives. She’s married. Well that’s true, I’m married. And I’m the proud mother to
three incredible little girls. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I’m also a parent. Are you? Yes. I’m a parent of two beautiful
child mixes, Burt and Bernice. Yeah, more applause. Thank you. This is LA. Yes, dogs are like children. Are you a parent? I own them and I rescued them,
so yeah, I’m their parent. And I’m a single parent also. So when you get to deal
with what that is like, that pressure, when you are
climbing an uphill battle, get back to me, bitch. Anyway. [LAUGHTER] All right. Just gather yourself. Even though we’re
very different– If I’m not a parent, why would
I get my dogs’ DNA testing done? Why would I care so much– I don’t know. I don’t know why. Because typically speaking,
parents don’t really DNA test their children. [LAUGHTER] Well I don’t think that
I gave birth to my dogs, but Mary doesn’t think I’m a
parent because I have dogs. And I have something
to say about that. [LAUGHTER] Oh god. OK, here we go. I would like to
announce that today, I found out that my Chow
Chow mixes that I thought were, well, just Chow Chow. I thought the Chow Chow
was a mixed mix, are 75% Chow and 15% Rottweiler. So I am just– this
is a blow, obviously. I’m just digesting today that
I have 15% Rottweiler dogs. And even though I got that news,
I’m fucking here and I voted. [CHEERS] And this is what I deal
with on a day-to-day basis. Perfect dog children are
not our only differences. That’s right. Mary drives a minivan, I won’t. No, she won’t. And Chelsea gets in
a lot of trouble. Mary doesn’t get
into any trouble. I really don’t. Unless I’m around– Even though our lives
are very different, because I’m a parent and
a wife and an actress– We got it. We share the same values. We share the things
that bring us together and we celebrate the things
that make us different. And we know that when
we vote, we’re not only voting for ourselves, we’re
voting for our daughters and for our futures. That’s right. We vote to make
their voices heard. Who do we vote for? Our children. Who do we vote for? Your children. We vote for all our children. Be a part of making history
and making the future as bright as it can be. And find an issue that matters
to you and then get involved and stay involved. Stay involved. Voting! Is cool. Voting is cool. Be cool and vote! Yes, be cool. Bye. I am voting in November
because my voice matters. Because as a trans
woman of color, I understand that my
vote can change that. That who is in
state legislatures and local government
and our governor’s offices and our federal
government matters– who sits on our courts,
our appellate courts, our Supreme Court matters. And my vote affects all of that. That’s why I’m voting. I hope you– [MUSIC PLAYING] Hi, I’m Connie Britton,
actress/mother activist. Whether I’m counseling students,
singing a country tune, answering your 911 calls, or
giving birth to the Antichrist, I’m a 21st century
woman who’s just trying to manage a work/life
balance like most Americans. We all want a good education
and safe neighborhoods for our kids, and your
pledge to vote tomorrow through TelethonForAmerica.com
can help determine our future. Have I delivered a
baby over the phone? Yes. Did I support my husband’s
decision to leave West Texas and take a college job? You bet. Have I struggled to
keep the spotlight on my diminishing
country music career? Of course. But the most important thing
I’ll do this year is vote. It’s the best way to
change your reality. Also, that’s the only one
that’s actually reality– like real. As far as I know. So do me, Connie
Britton, actress who is also a real
person, a huge favor and take the pledge
today to vote tomorrow. Thanks Hey guys, it’s Ashley
Benson, and I want to ask you a personal favor. Can you please go vote tomorrow? I’ll be your best friend. Hey, everybody,
this is Aisha Tyler. These are my good friends,
Stephen Amell, Cassandra Jean Amell, and we’re just
encouraging you to vote. Voting isn’t just a right, it’s
a privilege and an obligation. We live in the greatest
nation on Earth. Yeah– –cool too. I live there, but
I’m not a citizen. I pay taxes and I can’t vote. So everybody– So if you don’t vote, I’m
going to be pissed off. [LAUGHS] So vote. It’s important, and it’s
fast, and it feels great. Do it. And now let’s roll the tape
with comedian Tape Face. [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Arresting, extravagant. Product. Generally, what you think you
hear on the radio is terrible. Product is terrible. What you do makes a difference. One, two, three, four. Get down. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, guys, this is Piotr Michael
for Telethon for America. I’m a comedian
and impressionist, and I have a lot of
celebrity friends. Now you’ve heard some
celebrities share their messages about why it’s
important to vote on November 6th, but unfortunately,
not all celebrities have been here to tell you
what they really think. That’s why I’m here
to help you guys hear what those celebrities
really have to say. Hi, this is Arnold
Schwarzenegger. I’m the Governator,
The Terminator, whatever you want to call me. But what’s most important is
that you go out there and vote. Ah, life is precious, life is– life is meaningful. Yes, life is very meaningful. Listen, if you don’t vote,
life will, uh, find a way. Yes. But is it the way you want? Ah. Vote for somebody. Maybe vote for ’em
if they’re sexy. All right, all right, all right. Now you voted, right? You haven’t? Come on. Look at me. I did some early voting. Yeah, you can do that. I did it so I can have
some plenty of time to play my bongo. Hey, guys. Steve Buscemi here. I’m just happy to
be in another video. Another project. Oh, yeah. Go vote. Voting is important. You heard those celebrities,
you heard everyone tonight. Go on, vote! I’m Larry King. There is no greater privilege
we have than the privilege and the right to vote. Don’t cast that away. On election day, please vote. Do your duty to your
country, your area, and your own consciences. Vote, vote, vote. Hey, everybody, it’s Jeff
Ross, the Roast Master General. The elections here,
everybody’s saying, vote, vote, vote– there’s
a million reasons to vote, this is the most
important election ever. All that’s true. But voting for me is also fun. It doesn’t have to
be scary, it’s fun. You go to the polling place,
you give them your name, you talk to people,
you get to go in there and pick the people you like. Sometimes they win,
sometimes they don’t. But afterwards you’re
going to feel good, and you’re going to feel
something we rarely feel, which is patriotic. Give it a shot. Hi, it’s Jim Jeffries. Look, I’m here today to
tell you all to vote. It’s important to vote. It is important to vote. And I don’t care
what age you are, I don’t care if you’re extremely
old or extremely young, you go out there and– unless you’re very young. The very young– if you’re under
18, don’t even bother voting, you’re not allowed to vote. We don’t trust
you with anything. I know you live in this world,
but we don’t acknowledge you in any way. And really, though,
if you got dementia, you don’t vote either. Anyone who goes to
Charlottesville– Neo-Nazis, don’t vote. In fact, if you just don’t
agree with any of my opinions, it’s probably best
you don’t vote. But for the rest of
you, you better vote. That’s all– in fact, probably
just better if I vote, then I’ll probably
get what I want. So no one else vote but me. If you really have
to, if you have to, check out
TelethonForAmerica.com. That’s TelethonForAmerica.com. From MTV’s Human Giant, FX’s
The League, and ABC’s Fresh Off the Boat,
here’s Paul Scheer. Hey, everybody! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] How are you? Thank you. Hi I’m Paul Scheer. Comedian, sure; actor, yes. But my true passion is
clearly fashion, right? It’s the reason that I have
literally hundreds of followers on my fashion-only
Instagram account. But would you
believe that there is a time when people were turned
away from the polling place because they were not
dressed appropriately? That’s right people
were turned away for not wearing button-down
shirts, all right? If you wore a fedora,
you were turned away. Now that’s the reason why Al
Gore lost, I’m pretty sure. You’re probably
thinking, come on, fashion influencer Paul
Scheer, this law is clearly decades old. But guess what? You’re wrong. Minnesota has this
dress code rule in place up until last June. That was last June, OK? And it had to go all the
way to the Supreme Court to be like, you can show
up like this, like me. You could show up like
this in your pajamas. Everyone should vote. And basically they had to go to
the Supreme Court to let people in black robes dictate
what we can or cannot wear at the polls. And I know black is
like a fashion staple, but I mean, think
about how much fun the Supreme Court
would be if everyone dressed like Lady Gaga. It would be awesome. But luckily for
you, you can wear whatever you want to
the polls, and this is your chance to show us
your fashion sense, OK? By sending us a selfie with
your “I voted” sticker. We’re going to see a
lot of those tomorrow, it’s going to be disgusting. But use the hashtag #PostTheVote
all day tomorrow and I might retweet it, or like
some other small names like Jane Fonda or
Barbra Streisand– I don’t know, Barbra
Streisand, whatever. Here’s the deal. If you pledge on our website
right now, not only might you get a call tonight from one
of our celebrities in the phone bank, but a few lucky ones
will get a FaceTime call. And if you pick up tonight,
I’ll give you some solid fashion tips. Look, I’m going to
give it to you, right? I will not hold back, fashion
does not have feelings. Now into the celebrity
phone bank, let’s go! Give me just 30 seconds here. Hello, everybody. What camera? Right here? There we are. Welcome back to the celebrity
phone bank, this is incredible. The phones are off the hook. Justin Theroux has been
on the phone nonstop. How’s it going? It’s going great. I’m getting a lot of
voicemails, but I’m also getting a lot of human
beings on the other side. Nice people are picking up. Machines have taken
over, but not fully yet. Right. Even got a busy signal, which
I didn’t even know existed. Didn’t know that
was still a thing. Sophia Bush on the phone. Hello. I am on the phone. I’m on the phone with
a voter right now. Do you happen to be watching
the Telethon for America at the moment? You are? Hi! Well that’s where
I’m calling you from. Can you tell us
what your name is? My name is Sally. Hi, Sally. This is Sophia, and I’m standing
next to Ben Gleib, who’s holding a microphone
up to my phone so that we can talk
to everyone here. Why is it important
to you to vote? Why is it important for
you to vote tomorrow? Because of everything
that’s been happening in the news
for the past four years? Yeah. A lot of stuff happening, it’s
a non-stop 24 hour news cycle, we understand that. That’s why you got
to use your voice, it’s the one time we can stop
the constant influx of noise and use our voice. Yes. Sally, I’m with you. I actually believe that
voting will save America. So thank you for being
on that train with me. Appreciate that. Nice to meet you, Sally. We’re here with Milana
Vayntrub from Silicon Valley, you know her from This
Is Us, and she also was the AT&T girl, everybody. How are you? Hi, I’m great. I’ve just been
calling people who ask to speak to real celebrities. Is that what they said to you? Yeah. I mean– but it’s great, because
everyone sits right behind me. True that. Yeah, and I got Nina right here,
so I can just pass the phone on to people who matter more. Excuse me, I’m busy. [LAUGHS] Nina, how’s
it going so far? It’s amazing. It’s been– I’ve gotten
a lot of amazing– everyone’s already pledged,
obviously, and a lot of people are going in tomorrow,
but most of the people that I’ve talked to have
already submitted their ballots. They already have? Yeah. They’re just watching
for extra patriotism. Yes, exactly. Beautiful of them do that. I actually– but I also
had one Nina hang up on me. And I had a couple of parents
go on the phone and be like, do you know what time it is? I’m like, I’m sorry,
I’m sorry, dad. Oh yeah. East coast, it’s a
little late for a call. Yeah. That’s why I got all the
east coast calls out first. [INAUDIBLE] Smart move. I’m going to talk
to you in a second, but quickly, my friend
Kevin Smith is here. Hey, how are you? Oh my god, we’re
on TV right now. You’re on TV right now. Well– YouTube. The opposite of TV, really. The opposite of TV. How are your calls going? So good. Ben Gleib is harassing
me, the same way I’m harassing you right now to
remind you to vote, Kelly. Ben Gleib is asking
me to remind you. Podcaster extraordinaire. Kevin Smith, the
SModcast Network. Yes, absolutely. Now I’m doing two things. You’re doing two things at once. You’re not good
at that, are you? You can’t save America and
talk to the lady at home, Ben. Talk to somebody more– My podcast is on you– Get Sean. Get him. It is, yeah. Subscribe to Last Week
on Earth, my podcast. Why not? It’s Kevin’s network. I do that for him,
that’s why I said that. How are your calls going, Sean? They’re going really
well, actually. I’m getting all these yeses. I did– and they voted
already or they’re going to vote for sure. And they know where
their polling place is, it’s all going bigger
than my expectations. Any weird places the
polling places are? You ask that question? Everybody’s like, they’re
a block away from my home. Beautiful. Beautiful. They’re not even
getting any exercise in, they just get there quick. That’s it. This is very exciting. I love that. #TelethonforAmerica
@WhenWeAllVote. Make your pledges, post on
social, make your voting squad. And now, we are going to
kick it to the main stage where we have my
friends Bill Bellamy and Loni Love, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hi, everybody. How’s everybody doing? Come on, guys! Come on! Let’s get that energy up. Go. Good to see everybody. Hey Loni Love, I’ve
written a scene for you. And this is for
people who know– this is for people who
know what to do in case they get turned
away from the polls. Oh, I love a sexy scene. OK, give it to me. Your card right there, baby. You’re going to play
the role of the– Voting booth lady? Really? Yeah. [LAUGHS] And I will be
Bill Bellamy, the comedian extraordinaire. Don’t I get a name? Yeah. Voting booth lady. Mmm. Hi, I’m Bill Bellamy. Oh, my goodness. I love Bill Bellamy,
you are so funny. [LAUGHTER] Thanks. I’m here to vote. Sorry, but it looks like
your name isn’t on the rolls. OK. Well, you know by law,
you’re required to give me a provisional ballot. Oh, I am now? Uh yeah, it says it right there. [LAUGHS] Or you can call the
Election Protection Hotline and text 97779 if you’re
having any trouble voting. Election Protection is staffed
with nonpartisan legal experts to answer your questions. The hotline number
is 866-OUR-VOTE. Voters can also send tweets
about problems to @866OURVOTE. Get it. 866OURVOTE. Way to go. How did you know all that? Bill Bellamy, you act like Loni
Love doesn’t come prepared. [LAUGHS] I’m ready to go. Give it up for Loni Love. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I don’t need to hand script
either, honey, all right? [LAUGHS] Loni, you know you just
read that off that prompter. You know what? And I look good doing it. [LAUGHS] Let’s see you do it. All right. If you’re having trouble
voting on Tuesday, ask for a provisional ballot. They must provide it by law. And if you have
any questions, you can always call the Free
Election Protection Hotline. That’s 1-866-OUR-VOTE. 1-866-OUR-VOTE. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, y’all. Vote tomorrow. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] OK, guys. We’re standing here–
juggling here with Olga Kay. Olga, actually moved to America
18 years ago from Russia, and two years ago was the
first time she’s able to vote. And I did. I voted and I’m
going to do it again. And I want to play
a game real fast. I’m going to juggle,
and if I don’t drop, everyone who is watching
right now, you’ll have to vote. OK, let’s talk. Make it– challenge
me, challenge me. OK. Well, what is 7 divided by 58? Oh my gosh. [LAUGHS] I don’t know. No? But you didn’t drop, that’s
the most important part. So a lot of people
might know Olga because she got a lot of
recognition and success on YouTube where she had
like a comedy channel. Then– maybe you
guys can go down– then she has her own
business right now where she makes socks. Now what made you want to
get into the sock business? Well, a lot of young girls
would watch my videos and they really wanted to find
their voice and stand out and– whoop! Whoa. Self-expression was a
really big thing for them. So I wanted to create a product
that every young girl could wear, walk into
the room, and she didn’t have to prove
herself to anyone, and everyone just paid
attention and listened. Oh I like that. Now do you have any– you have
like one big juggling trick? Yes. I can do a split
while I juggle this. Let’s try this. OK. I’m going to step back. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Wow. Come on, now. Come on. I am proud to have you
as an American citizen. Everyone go vote. I voted for the first
time two years ago, I’ll do it again and
again and again and again. Thank you. Thanks so much, Olga. All right, now we’re
to go back to Ben. Ben, where are you? What’s going on with you? What’s happening? Where is Ben? We are here with Olivia– Olivia. I’m just– that was Olivia Munn. She was on the stage. And Olga Kay juggling right
now, the great Olga Kay. Listen, I’ve been working
this thing for weeks on end. It’s OK. Our names kind of rhyme. Olivia, Sophia– Sophia Bush, one of my
dearest friends in the world. So I’m just exhausted. From Olivia to Sophia. Sophia, you’re amazing. You are not only
a wonderful actor, but you’re so passionate
about every cause. So many causes. Is it ever too much for you? I mean, I just want
to save the world. I get it. So I think if each of us got
passionate about something, we could do that,
you know what I mean? Yeah. A lot of people, some people
are passionate about a bunch of stuff, and some people are
passionate about like zero things. Maybe all of us should be
passionate about a couple of things, we could
even out the math. Yeah, two or three things,
and then we’re good. And then you have
free time also. Sure. It works out perfectly. Yeah, I don’t have any of
that right now, but that’s OK, it’s worth it. Same. It’s totally worth it. If you guys are watching
this and you want to vote, if you get turned
away at the polls tomorrow, if you
have any issues– I’m looking to you, Georgia– where is that– Hello? Looking at you, Georgia. Oh, we’re meant to be
looking over there. No, I don’t know where we are. Now we’re here. It’s that one. Talking to you, Georgia. I’m looking at you, Georgia. In the country that tries
to be– as being turned away or if there’s any
irregularities at the polls, you can call the
Election Protection Hotline at 866-OUR-VOTE. That’s 866-OUR-VOTE. 100%– That’s also Sean Hayes’ head. Ruining our shot! Hi, Sean Hayes! You’re ruining our shot! Hi. What are you doing? But he’s so handsome,
leave him alone. He looks great. Also in Spanish, if you’re about
to be turned away at the polls, any issues, call
1-888-Ve-Y-VOTA. And Asian languages,
1-888-API-VOTE. In Arabic and
English, 844-Yalla-US. And for American Sign
Language, 301-818-VOTE. So please don’t let
anybody mess with your one power, your most important
power in our democracy– voting. Make sure you call the hotline. You can also tweet
them at @866OURVOTE. Make sure you get
counted, y’all. And now we are going
to another dear friend of mine, a man who so happens to
currently have a top 10 comedy album on the billboard charts,
but for 10 of the last 20 weeks, was the number one
comedy album in the country. Damn! It’s called Live and Let Die. Give it up, everybody,
for J. Chris Newberg! Yay. Thank you, everybody. I would like to sing
a song on a topic that no one has
touched on tonight. I’d like to sing a
song about voting. [MUSIC PLAYING] (SINGING) Don’t vote. Don’t do nothin’. Just sit and watch the news. When your friends have
political discussions, you can sit there
and stew awhile. Because you didn’t
vote, you did zero. So as far as I’m concerned,
shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up forever,
because you didn’t do anything. Let’s just sing, everybody. All together. For all those people
who didn’t vote. Let’s do it, ready? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Louder! Shut the fuck up forever. And then just sit there and read
your friend’s horrible Facebook posts about politics
and then don’t chime in, because you didn’t do anything. So shut the fuuuck uuup. Yay, everybody. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And now, we go to Bueno
Aries, Argentina for a hello from Foster The People. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, this is Mark
from Foster The People from Bueno Aires, Argentina. And I just want to say
I wish I could be there for the Telethon for America. Vote for these midterms,
get out there and vote. We need you to vote. It’s the most patriotic
thing you could do back home. I gotta play a song. Yo, guys, what’s up? Bart Baker here. Listen, if you don’t
vote, then you’re a lazy irresponsible [BLEEP]. I was a lazy irresponsible
[BLEEP] for years, but then I realized if I don’t
vote, then I can’t complain, and I love to complain. Honestly, though, voting
controls your future, and who doesn’t want
to have a say in that? So go, pledge to vote right
now at TelethonForAmerica.com. Don’t do it, man,
don’t be a [BLEEP].. Sorry, can you bleep all that? I’m assuming they can bleep
all those bad words, right? Hi. It’s Nick Kroll. Will you go out there and vote? Please, I’m on the floor. I’m on the floor begging you
to go out there and vote, exercise your right
as an American. I really appreciate it. It means a lot to me. I’m on the floor begging
you please, go out and vote. OK? OK, thanks, bye. Ladies and gentlemen,
here’s Trace Lysette and Lana Parrilla. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, everyone! Hey, America. I’m Trace Lysette
set from Transparent. And I’m Lana Parrilla
from Once Upon a Time. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] And if you want leaders
who are transparent, In reality and not
just in fairy tales, Then pledge to vote at the
website on your screen. Maybe a celebrity from our
phone bank will call you. Yeah. Perhaps making a dream
come true or a nightmare if it ends up being Tom Arnold. Don’t know where he is, but get
out there and vote, everyone. Good job, Tom. Thanks, guys. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] How we doing, folks? Where we heading? Times Square. Times Square it is. Ohhh! Awesome. You guys are in the Cash
Cab Democracy Edition. I’m going to drive you
to your destination. I’m going to ask you some
questions about America. All right, here we go. Here is your first question. In what year was the
Declaration of Independence written and signed? 1492. No. [BUZZER] Strike one. 1492 is incorrect. 1776 was the year. Oh. All right, one question,
one strike, a rocky start. Let’s see if we can get on
the board with this next one. All right, here we go. How many senators are
there in Congress? I know this. 50. [BUZZER] [GROANS] 100 senators. Final question is,
when is election day? We know when this is. January. January? No, no, it’s incorrect. [BUZZER] January is incorrect. It’s tomorrow. Tomorrow? Yes, it’s tomorrow. You have to go vote tomorrow. Are you guys going to vote? No. For what? Well you want are now. What? Make sure you get out
there and vote, everybody. If you can’t get to your local
polling station, use Lyft. They’re offering 50% off,
so you have no excuse to get out there
and vote, everybody. And I’m taking you
there to vote myself. [SCREAMING] From Jurassic World and Ant-Man,
please welcome Judy Greer. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hi, voters! [LAUGHS] I am here to share
the top three reasons why people say they don’t vote. OK, let’s do this. Reason number one– my
vote doesn’t matter. What are you talking about? Every single vote matters. In the 2016 election,
just 77,000 votes decided arguably the
most important election of our time, 77,000 votes. Number two reason– I can’t get to a polling place. Oh no. Have you heard of this new thing
called ride-sharing, right? Yes! Lyft is offering 50% off
rides on election day and free rides in
underserved communities. So please go with
your voting squad, and make sure to go to
TelethonForAmerica.com, hit a few buttons on your
phone, you will jump in a car and you would get to
your polling place. It really couldn’t be easier. Maybe you can even walk,
because people are always trying to get steps in, right? We all have our Fit Bits
and our steps on our phone now, so maybe that’s
an option for you. Number three reason– I don’t know where to vote. This happens to me sometimes
because my polling place changes all the
time, but guess what? Now you do. Because you see that little– the website that
keeps popping up at the bottom of your screen? That’s the one that we’ve been
plugging this entire night while you’ve been
watching us, right? You see that? OK, so type that in
your browser, type in your information,
make a plan, it will tell you your
polling place and you will maybe, if you’re really
lucky or if you’re not, you’ll probably
get a call from one of these awesome
celebrities that we’ve kept behind the glass here. Hi, celebrities
behind the glass! [APPLAUSE] They’re not waving because
they’re calling you guys! That’s all I got! [APPLAUSE] Hey. You should go out there and vote
today or when this comes out, because– I didn’t read the email. I just was told to do this to– I heard it would look
good for my image. Go vote. I’m voting in November
because I believe that I have a right to voice
my opinion on who is in power. Who it is that is making
all of these decisions and writing all these policies,
and we need candidates and we need people in those
seats who care about the people and who care about
these systems. TelethonForAmerica.com
is the website. I’m Roy Wood Jr.
From The Daily Show with Trevor Noah encouraging
you all to go to vote. Did you know that people
who vote, they have more sex and they lose weight and
nutrition and stress level goes down? These are all
scientific facts that I read on the internet at
3:00 o’clock in the morning. But seriously, you have a
voice, exercise it, people. Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome the illustrious Tom Arnold. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Oh my gosh, what is going on? Hi. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Hi. America’s sweetheart
Tom Arnold here to talk about the
importance of voting. Oh my god. I shouldn’t have said
America’s sweetheart, right? Because that sounds weird
and presumptuous and– did Julia Louis-Dreyfus say that
she was America’s sweetheart already? Did she? Because then I would be stealing
Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ thunder, because she is fan– Oh my god, do you even remember? Like there was like
a feud between me and Julia Louis-Dreyfus
and all the Seinfeld people like 25 years ago? Do you remember that? She parked in my parking spot? Are you guys old enough
to remember that? Oh my god, it was horrible. It was a big deal. Like she parked
in my spot, there was a big fight,
and Jason Alexander, and it was a horrible thing. And everybody talked, there
was a joke at the Oscars, Billy Crystal, it was horrible. So let’s not do that,
forget that I even said it, let’s start over. OK, just cut! Don’t do it, cause
then she’ll hate me, because she’s literally
America’s– people love her, they hate me, so let’s
roll tape– stop. Stop, we’re going to start
over, because I do not want her to see that,
we just became friends. She just started
following me on Instagram. Backstage we became
friends, and now we’re friends, because if she
see me do that, she’s going to freaking hate me again,
and I don’t want her to see it. So OK, start over. Guys, start to tape
over, let’s redo this. OK, here we go. Oh my god, we’re live! Oh my god. She’s– we’re on– this is live. Is this live? Are you freaking kidding me? Oh my god, I ruined
everything one more time. Oh my god. Oh my god, but I– oh my god. This is on the internet, right? OK, nobody watches the internet. OK. Oh my god! People do watch the internet. Oh my god. Julia Louis-Dreyfus
watches the internet. She just unfollowed
me on Instagram. OK. People– oh my god,
people do horrible things, say horrible things
about me on the internet. Well OK. Here’s the truth. Tonight they aren’t saying
such horrible things on me. I’m going to be honest. I’ve been working that
phone bank over there. You know that? About voting? And a bunch of nice people. I’ve actually been
calling people because this is a nonpartisan
event, you know that? And I’ve been calling nice
people all over America, and I say, this is Tom Arnold
calling for the vote thing, and they don’t hang up the
phone, so it’s been very nice. Usually when I check
my Twitter feed, people are like, oh my god,
saying horrible things. But tonight has been nice. In fact, there was
a woman who said– she’s 42 years old and
she took her father to vote for the very first
time, a woman in Georgia. And I have a
three-year-old daughter– she’s not even three. Can you imagine
when she’s 42, she took me to vote
for the first time? I would be– I would be dead. I mean, I’d be so old– oh my
god, I’d 59 now, like how– I can’t even add that up. But there are so many things
going on, it is so important, you guys, OK? Get out there and
save our democracy. Oh my god, that’s nonpartisan,
I don’t think that’s partisan. Anyway– and stick
up for me on Twitter once in a while, everybody. All right, I’m sorry Julia. I love you. Thank you, everybody. Thanks, Ben! I love you, Ben! I love you. I’m in love with
you, Tom Arnold. I’ve been in love with Tom
Arnold for a very long time. That’s a lie. Great guy, though, nice person. Just don’t have romantic
feelings for him and it hurts him. That’s his problem,
you know what I mean? We can’t all love each
other in that way. You have to deal with that. Tom was not prepared,
but you don’t have to be, because when you pledge at
TelethonForAmerica.com today, it helps you make a personalized
voting plan for tomorrow. Let’s just talk to
the audience randomly. Sir, are you making your
personalized voting plan? Who, me? Oh, no, no. I am just a regular American
citizen watching celebrity ego massage show. OK. Sir, first of all, we’re
doing a lot of good here. Secondly, what are you
doing on that laptop if you’re just watching? Not much. Your servers are super secure. Yeah, it’s an interesting
accent you have, sir. Where– if I may ask,
where are you from? I am from Florida. Go Alligators from football. Sir, where in Florida? Disneyland. [LAUGHTER] Security. Can we get security,
please, to get– Hold on, hold on,
hold your horsepowers, hold your horsepowers, OK? Because you see,
I am not actually elite Russian
hacker, but comedian and activist Ben Morrison. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I’m your best friend. Yes, of course. I realized– You were completely
tricked, which just goes to show you
that if you don’t vote, the Russians might continue
infiltrating our democracy. That’s true. And they may even be pretending
to be your best friend. I knew it was you
most of the time, Ben. But America didn’t, which
is why you gotta vote. That is a very strong point. Do you think you
can maybe go back to being the announcer
of the show now? Da. Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome from My Drunk Kitchen, Hannah Hart. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yes. Hello, hello. I hope everybody is as
disoriented as I am. Hi, I’m Hannah Hart. And I have a question,
might be a bit too personal, but I want to ask
you very directly. When was the last time you got
a phone call from Jane Fonda? Anybody? No, never. Yeah, yeah. That’s what I thought. Well, if you’re looking
to chat with a celebrity, you can go ahead and go
to TelethonForAmerica.com. I thought at this point we’d
all say it together at once. Is that OK? TelethonForAmerica! Wow, that guy’s into it. Right now you can go and you
can make the pledge to vote. And then one of our celebrities
that we keep in this glass cage we’ll call you. Then they will
confirm your pledge and help you work
out any details you might need to know to make
sure you get to the polls. However, I understand–
celebrities are intimidating and self-obsessed. So, you don’t have to
talk to a celebrity, we’ll just have you– we’ll just have to talk to Tom. [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, we’re Rhett and Link
from Good Mythical Morning, and we want to encourage you
to vote tomorrow, November 6th. If for no other
reason than the fact that this year, that “I voted”
sticker is scratch-n-sniff. Really? Yes. What’s the flavor? It smells like freedom. Yep. What does freedom smell like? Well they got– I think they
got like five different flavors this year. I mean, there’s apple pie,
eagles, Lincoln’s beard, Lincoln’s pubes. And grape? And grape. Go to TelethonForAmerica.com
and pledge your vote now. Hey. Get out and vote. Now’s the time. I know what you’re thinking,
you’re like, but hey, man, I’ve got another blunt, and
there’s like a new South Park on, and I mean, I
didn’t have time. You have time. Get out and vote. Now is the time. Put down the blunt and the
beer and the vodka soda. Vote, and then
pick those back up. Hi. I’m Ty Burrell. This is my real voice. I use a different voice on
Modern Family to sound stupid. I want to encourage all of you
to get out and vote tomorrow to make sure that
your real voices are heard loud and clear. Don’t be an idiot I’m like– Phil Dunphy. [LAUGHS] It sounds so dumb. What we’re going
to do right now, I know that sometimes
vote chants aren’t exactly the cool thing, but I want to
throw a little twist on this, you know what I’m saying? I need you all to repeat after
me, we gonna try this thing and see if it works. If it doesn’t work, ehh– let’s make it work,
let’s make it work. All right, check it out. Hope may float, so
get out and vote. Hope may float, so
get out and float. Saying hope don’t float,
so get out and vote. Hope don’t float,
so get out to vote. I say, hope don’t vote,
so get out and vote. Hope don’t float,
so get out and vote. Hope don’t float,
so go out and vote. Hope don’t float,
so get out and vote. I need you to vote, you to
vote, you to vote, him to vote, her to vote, him to
vote, up top to vote, in the front row to vote,
on the side rows to vote, in the middle, same thing,
go vote, you’re [INAUDIBLE].. You, you, you, and yes, you. [INAUDIBLE] you, and all
the people in the back, yo. Vote! Good job, Austin! I’m Gabrielle Union
and I’m a Scorpio. I’m Jessica Alba
and I’m a Taurus. This is us going to the polls. Vote like your life and
your children’s lives depend on it, because they do. Midterms are here, and it’s time
for you to get your vote on. You can create the
world you want to see. All you gotta do is vote. You just vote. That’s all. Just vote your way
at the voting booth. Ladies and gentlemen,
Sophia Bush. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Oh, hello. Hi. I always feel like it’s
important on an election year to clarify that yes,
my last name is Bush; no, I’m not related to
those people, moving on. Tomorrow you are all
heading out to vote. I’m going to say
that one more time– tomorrow, you’re all
heading out to vote, right? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yeah. Keep in mind, there are
lots of different races that need your voice. Everything from US
Senate and House to your local school board. As a person who’s passionate
about education access, I want to make sure y’all know
that tomorrow there are over 10,000 school board seats on
the ballot across 37 states. Our friends at XQ
are making it easy for you to find out about your
local school board elections. Text “school” right
now to 225568. I know, we were expecting
doubles all the way through, right? 225568 to learn more. And even beyond
tomorrow, school boards are an amazing way to get
involved in your community. Local school boards
transform communities, and you have the power to
transform school boards. You see how that works? There are so many ways
you can get involved. Vote, show up, ask questions, or
run for school board yourself. People as young as 18
are running and winning for school board
across this country. 18-year-olds. Yes. So none of us have an excuse. Here’s what I’m going to ask
you guys to do right now. I want you all to
get out your phones. I see people on their phones
in the audience, I see you. I want you all they get
out your phones and text “school” to 225568. So many issues that you care
about are school board issues. Take a look. I do my best when I feel
safe and inspired to learn. I want my kids to have better
opportunities than I had. I wish we had classes
like schools across town. I want to hold our elected
officials accountable. School boards
transform communities. Speak up at yours and
make your voice heard. Text “school” to 225568 to find
out how you can get involved. Ladies and gentlemen– ladies
and gentlemen, Sarah Foster. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Wow. How amazing is tonight? I would just like to
say, I’m blown away. Hello, I’m Sarah Foster. Oh, thank you. Is that my mom? My sister couldn’t
be here right now, she’s at home reading her
ballot over and over and over– she’s very detail-oriented. When you all go out
to vote tomorrow– yes, I just said “when.” Because I know everyone is
going to pledge to vote tonight, right? [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Oh wait– like tonight, right? Yes. OK. If I didn’t hear
you shout out yes, I will assume you are silently
but enthusiastically nodding. I see a few of you doing that. When you go out
to vote tomorrow, make sure to inform yourself
on all the crucial propositions on your local ballot. There are vital issues
in your community and you have the final say
on what laws get picked up and which ones get shot down. From infrastructure to
housing costs to health care and everything in between, even
some like super rando items. Like here in LA, we
have a proposition on if we should get rid
of daylight savings. You like to save up all your
sunlight for a rainy day or do you just like to splurge
on sunshine all year long? I don’t know, maybe you like
hate the sun altogether. I don’t know. But where do you stand on
this very controversial issue? In Florida, there’s an amendment
on the ballot about voter control over gambling. Yes, you get to decide
whether voters get to decide the future of Florida casinos. I’m not sure if that even
makes sense, but just please research all the
propositions in your area and get out there and vote. Please. Thank you. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hello, everybody. Hey, guys. We are back. I think Fortune– we’re in it. Fortune’s in it. Fortune’s– –you just want to– you have
Fortune’s hand right there. It’s very exciting. But maybe the
biggest celebrity– The biggest celebrity
here right now is Natasha. Natasha is here from
Election Protection Hotline. And– Natasha [? Keroga. ?] Yes. I memorized it. You memorized her
last name very well. So you’re here from the
Election Protection Hotline, thank you so much for
being here with us. I’m happy to be here tonight
and share more information about our hotline. Tell us what is
the reason somebody is most likely to call. So we get a lot of
calls from people who are told that they have
to vote on provisional ballots or they’re not on
the voter rolls. Definitely call
the hotline if you have any problems, if someone
tells you you can’t vote. If you’re waiting in line when
the polls closed and they tell you you can’t vote, you can. As long as you’re in line
before the polls close, you can still vote. Or if they request
identification and you’re not sure if you
have to provide photo ID, definitely call us and
report any problems. Very key. And what’s the number
for your hotline? The Election Protection Hotline? It’s 866-OUR-VOTE, or you
can text Our Vote to 97779. Our Vote as in O-U-R? It’s more of an our vote. Our vote. Well I say R too. You say– sometimes
I do too, but you get lazy with your language
and then it confuses people It’s not lazy, it’s languages
form different parts of the world. I grew up around the world. I feel like you’re
lying about that. Well, I might be, I might be. Where were you born? LA? I was born in Guatemala. Guatemala. No, I wasn’t. See? It’s all nothing but lies. It’s born in Oklahoma City. Proud Oklahoma. Boomer Sooner. That’s beautiful. Where were you born? I was born here in Los Angeles. Oh. Where were you born? I was born in New Orleans. We are going– New Orleans! Oh, a great town. Great town. We’re going to check in
now with our money board. Where were you born? I’m getting yelled at
in my year to check in with the money board. Oh– money board! Nobody cares– I hope we haven’t
raised any money. I really hope we haven’t
raised any money. I knew that. Oh god. If anybody has
collected money here, it’s going to be a
sad, sad day for us. It’s going to be a sad
day for– oh, zero! We’re still at zero! We still have the
crying emoji face. Yeah, why are they sad about it? I have come onboard. We don’t want no money. No, no money. We don’t want any money. Nope. How many pledges? 36,000! 36,728 pledges? Look at that, everybody! Amazing! That’s amazing! Yes. Good job. That is a huge number. Let’s check in on our
social master control, see what people are saying. Oh, looks like
everyone’s saying– I’m voting in the
upcoming election, get ready to vote at
WhenWeAllVote.org, @TelethonForAmerica. Get out and vote, loving this
show, #TelethonForAmerica– I think we saw those earlier. I think it’s the same
ones we saw earlier. Yeah, you know the interesting
thing about a telethon always showing social stuff is that
people go onto social media to look at social stuff. Right. It’s like on CNN and they have
it like ticker of like all the social– like, no one’s looking
at your Twitters that do news. Shall we not show that anymore? I think it’s silly. I think it’s silly whenever
people put up social media stuff. You make a strong point. Maybe we won’t go
to that anymore. You know, we don’t need to. Just go to go
TelethonForAmerica.com, make your pledge, and we won’t
ever show you social media again, that’s our bad. [LAUGHS] You made a great argument. We’ve been telling you– –before, I’m sorry. We should have discussed it. You could’ve given that
note during rehearsal. It’s sad when mom and dad
fight in front of everyone. That’s very true. We’re sorry, everybody. We’re trying our best,
we’re getting along. We’ve been telling
you all night to go to TelethonForAmerica.com,
but that’s not the only way you can make
your pledge, because sure, it’s fun to just post
on Instagram all day, I do it all the time. Sorry, are you having a
hard time reading the– I can read just fine, I
have great eyes, eagle eyes. You guys have no idea how
far away we are from– It’s very far. It’s about 50, 60 feet. He’s starting to just
talk a little slower, Mm-hmm. And I could tell you’re
just really struggling. But at some point, Yeah. If could relay a message,
Milana, thank you very much. Yeah, OK. But at some point, if
you want to be an adult, you’ve got to vote. Adults vote, which is
why you can also make your pledge at AdultsVote.org. AdultsVote.org. Did you mishear me just now? I think I said dogs vote? Did I say– –said DogsVote.org? No. That’s a weird thing to– It’s DogsVault? That’s– it’s fine– No problem. You can go to DogsVault. DogsVault– Go to DogsVault.org. That also makes–
works for pledging. Excuse me– I can read. I don’t know what your
problem is, I can read. Yeah, OK. You can go to all
those websites. You can vote at any
of of those websites. Are you really stoned
and DogsVault.org? Sounded like I said
[? DongSpot.org? ?] OK, now you’re just– I’m hearing random
sounds, but fine, OK. You can also go to
[? DongSpot.org ?] to make your pledge
to vote tomorrow. Thank you. Jade Taylor. [? DongsVote. ?] We just want your pledges. Again, when you
finish your pledges, share it on your social with
the hashtag #TelethonForAmerica and at WhenWeAllVote– @WhenWeAllVote. Your friends will see
it, and one of our celebs and maybe less famous comedians
might reply or retweet you. And now, a message from our
friends over at Comedy Central. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] On November 6th,
there’s an election. Live from Los
Angeles, California, it’s the 2018 Telethon
for America, powered by– On November 6th,
there’s an election. You might be thinking, Wow, a new president already? No. This is not a
presidential election. It’s the midterms. Senators, Congresspeople, Governors, Local officials, All Americans are asking– Themselves the same questions. Should I vote? How will I know
that I should vote– If celebrities don’t tell me to? Does Emma Stone
think I should vote? What about John Krasinski? Have you guys seen
A Quiet Place? Yes, but that isn’t what
this is about right now. It’s about celebrities– Telling regular Americans– That they have to vote. Many normal Americans like us– Don’t know what we should do– Until celebrities
tell us what to do. Should I moisturize? Jennifer Aniston
says you should. That’s a yes. But should we vote? Some people are calling this
the most important election of our lives, but
they aren’t famous. Chris Tucker. Lady Gaga. Kendrick Lamar. Will Smith. Should I vote? Tom Holland, Tom
Hardy, Thomas the Tank Engine– should I vote? Barbara Streisand, Barbara
Walters, all the Barbaras. Ethel Merman? The Harlem Globetrotters. Angela Bassett? Kylie Jenner’s baby. Bruno Mars. The cast of Riverdale. Your silence is deafening. Ladies and gentlemen, and
now a very special surprise. Together for the first
time on the West Coast, please welcome the Smiths. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Whoo. You were probably
expecting Morrissey, but he’s impossible to get, man. Jane Fonda, Charlize
Theron, no problem. Morrissey? Keep dreaming. I’m a filmmaker, but
really more of a podcaster. My name is Kevin Smith. And I’m a YouTuber,
DangMattSmith. Seven million
followers, by the way. Just saying. Oh my god, I didn’t realize we
were whipping out our internet dicks. [LAUGHTER] DangMattSmith,
as the Smiths, we feel it’s important to keep
Morrissey’s legacy of speaking truth to power in our lives– is
that what people think of when they think of Morrissey? I think of really
sad fucking songs. But yeah, he spoke
to power as well. You know, I think
that they think that there’s more diversity up
here than a college brochure. So it’s, you know,
it’s great, it’s great. Yeah. Everyone knows Morrissey. Avid voter. OK, I made that up, but it’s
possible, it’s possible. I’m going to play you some
backstage on my Walkman– you’ll hear some
Morrissey, and then we’ll get out the vote in a– Wait, wait– what’s a Walkman? It’s this thing that we used
to put in our ears to listen to music back in the day. Makes sense. Hey, everybody, it’s Ray Romano. And I’m here just
to ask you to vote. Get out there and vote. Not for this– not for
this creepy mustache. It’s coming off. We took a vote in
my house, actually. I wanted to keep it, and
my wife said shave it off. So it’s coming off. She said her vote counts as two. I don’t know, I don’t
get that, but I’ll tell you what, that’s not
how a democracy works. Every vote counts. Every young, old, man,
woman, your vote counts. So get out there and do it. And while you’re at it, go
to TelethonForAmerica.com and pledge to vote tomorrow. Oh man, it is creepy. Hey guys, it’s your fellow elder
Millennial, Iliza Shlesinger here, to tell you to vote
in these upcoming midterms. Why, do you ask? A lot of things
are on the ballot that you probably don’t realize. Want a cheaper apartment? No, I hate rent control. I want to pay a lot more
money over a lot more time. Maybe you’re a
landlord and you do want people to pay a lot more
money over a lot more time. Vote. Clean water? Yeah, that’s a thing we vote on. The homeless. Love them, hate them,
prove it with your vote. Probably shouldn’t
go around telling people you hate the homeless. Mmm. Daylight savings time. How do you feel about
that extra hour? Tell it to your ballot. It’s actually weird how
many things get decided on with these midterms. Do you know how many
people have sacrificed, how many people have died so you
have the privilege of watching an almost household
name celebrity tell you, beg you to please use your
privilege at the polls for a right that was climbed out
of the annals of history, that was forged on the
battlefields of time– sorry, I got carried away. I’m in Boston right now,
that tea party happened like 10 feet away from me. I can almost smell it. So, why don’t you go to a
TelethonForAmerica.com right now, click a few buttons, and
get your head in the game. Because let’s face it– if you don’t vote,
you are complicit. And now from the hit comedy, The
Oath, here is Ike Barinholtz. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Come on, everybody! Hello! Whoo! Hi, everybody. Hello. Hello, America. I want to take a
brief second and talk to you about the election. But unlike everyone else who
has spoken to you so far, I want to talk about
panda bears, right? We all love them, they’re
cute, they’re mischievous. But do you know it is
almost impossible to get pandas to mate with each other? It’s true. Even though the very
existence of their species is on the line,
pandas do not want to have sex with each other
because they’re morons. Guess who’s not a moron? Americans, OK? We have to save our
country tomorrow. And all we know
how to do is vote. It’s easier than having
sex for some of us. And I know some of you
are maybe scared of voting or you think it’s maybe
just not important. And if you think
like that, you are no better than a stupid,
adorable, celibate panda bear, OK? So I don’t want to see any
panda bears in this audience, you have to go out and vote. It could not be easier. It takes, like, I don’t
know, 10 minutes, maybe 20? And while you’re
waiting in line, you can go through
your Instagram filters and pick which one that you’re
going to choose for the selfie when you’re done that says
the “I voted” sticker, which is really the most
important social status symbol that you could have. So if you don’t go
out there and vote, there’s a very good chance
things are going to get worse, and society will
crumble, and we’ll be left in a wasteland
relying on Mad Max and Furiosa to guide us through
the Fury Road, OK? So remember tomorrow–
don’t be like a panda. Vote and save our species. And now, give it up for
the star of Shadowhunters, the wonderful
Katherine McNamara. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Thanks to you too. Hey, guys. So as you might know I, have
a little bit of experience with monsters and demons
and dystopian worlds. Now under those circumstances,
unless, of course, you have an inter-dimensional
portal, getting ready to go can be a bit of a problem. Fortunately, in today’s
world of internet wonders and e-commerce, we have
companies like Lyft that help people get
where they need to be, whether that be school
or work or, I don’t know, maybe your local polling
location to vote. I bet you guys saw that coming. So tomorrow, if you
need a ride to vote, open your Lyft app
and get a ride for 50% off on election day. They’re even offering free
rides in some underserved areas. So that’s one less excuse,
and one more great reason for you to go vote
and take your opinion and add it to a brighter
future for all of us. Thank you guys so much,
have a great night. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Hey, America. Tom Green here, just saying
get out and vote this week. It’s an important election, go
exercise your right to vote. I’m Canadian, I can’t
vote, so vote for me. Hey, everybody, I just
wanted to take a minute to tell you why I’m voting this
year in the midterm elections. It’s not quite as flashy as
the presidential elections, but possibly even
more important. The midterm elections
are the time when we get to really
make our voice heard and decide who is
representing us and where we’re
heading as a country. And right now more than ever,
that’s incredibly important. We have a chance to
make our voices heard and change the way
the world is going, to change our trajectory
as a country, as a people, as a nation. And I want to be part of that. I want to make a difference. Do you? Hey, guys, it’s Michael
Kosta from The Daily Show on television. I’m at Miami Beach. Why? Well because I had a problem
with my calf implants and my plastic surgeon is
here, that’s not the point. The point is, even
though I’m registered to vote in Los
Angeles, I’m a Miami, and I’m still going to vote in
Los Angeles thanks to something called the absentee ballot. There’s really no good
excuse to not vote. It’s very important to
have your voice heard, almost as important
as– how you doing? Having great calves. Pledge to vote tomorrow
at TelethonForAmerica.com. How’s my body look? So I’m here with with some
of my best friends in Vegas, and we’re performing tonight. We’ve got Bridget Everett,
Mia Jackson, Rachel Feinstein, and me, Amy Schumer
with Tatiana Maslany. And yes, so let me tell
you about the video we have to make. OK. We want people to
vote, but it’s also an opportunity to sort
of showcase ourselves, if I’m being honest. A lot of people don’t
know that I can sing. Yeah. Oh. And also, I thought– So this is a time for
you to prove that? Yeah, like– To show it. I want people to
vote, no question, that’s my number one priority. But also like, show
people I can carry a tune. Yeah. The rest of show
business is watching. Yeah. Can you like improvise
some like song about telling people to vote? You better do it with your
body, do it with your guts. We’re gonna vote,
baby, we’re gonna vote, we’re gonna to vote on
Tuesday, now get the hell out. Wow. Your turn. OK. [CLAPPING] Oh. Oh. Oh. Put it out there for real. No, I am. Oh, shit. Oh shoot. Oh my god, you have it. You had it. Maybe like a dance thing. Yeah, maybe like a dance. Something more like, I
not known as a dancer. Yeah. Maybe in the next
telethon we’ll– yeah, like that. Maybe if you show them
how to dance to the polls. You can dance to the polls. Wait, that sounds
like stripping. Oh my stars. That’s really good. That’s good. That’s good. That’s empowering for women,
using the hair like that. We’re going to vote
for the people. That’s a better thing
than my singing thing. Cause– Your singing was good. Now I love to sing. I love singing. Singing. I see potential in you. Really? I see potential in everyone. You can talk to people. You may have a racist relative. Every little thing
you do counts. Yeah. You gotta unleash your pride. Even if it’s your
mother or your father. All right. But I think– isn’t
your father dead? Yeah. [MUSIC PLAYING] Yeah. Amy Schumer, everybody. Give it up for Amy
Schumer and her friends. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Pretty amazing. We have reached the
end of our show. Olivia Munn, everybody. Thank you, thank you very much. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Yes, thank you to all of you
guys who’ve been here tonight and to everyone
at home, everyone who has registered to
vote– we got so many people to register to vote. To all of our celebrities who
were manning the phone banks, that was so exciting. To Michelle Obama’s
When We All Vote. That’s been so integral
in creating all this and making it happen. But the most important
person here is Mr. Ben Gleib. Thank you so much for everything
you’ve done from the beginning to create this idea
and then to see it come to fruition like
this, it’s truly amazing. Thank you for having me, Ben. Thank you, it’s
the least I can do. I just was tired of
watching the news every day and not doing anything, and I
figured, we gotta do something. And if we can do all this
on a big elaborate thing, all you gotta do
is vote tomorrow. Regardless of what
your politics are, we all have different
opinions, but we can all agree that country is much
better when we all vote. Vote tomorrow. Thank you. This has been the
Telethon for America. Good night. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [INAUDIBLE] Whoo! We did it! No money! No money! Yes! [MUSIC PLAYING] –clearly Matt Smith– [INAUDIBLE] Here is [INAUDIBLE] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [MUSIC PLAYING] Yes. –said it’s hard to watch
things about the news. 75% of [INAUDIBLE] [MUSIC PLAYING] (SINGING) –taken all
that you can take, and you’re sure you’re
never gonna catch a break, and the tears are rivers
running down your face, yeah. When your faith
is slowing, you’ve got no strength left,
when you think you’ve gone as far as you can get– [MUSIC – THIEVERY CORPORATION,
“FIGHT TO SURVIVE”] Designs we project on the
screen to promote dreams. In other words, [INAUDIBLE]
the smoke screens. When like minds connect
frauds hit the deck. You expect supreme
intellect on the set. We’re pushing negativity
to the outer sphere. My damn gold flow cuts
off your outer ear. Beware of those who
keep close to fear, because then they
overlook their own flaws. Pause, give yourself time to
explore your inner core where the true you was kept raw! This is a fight to survive. This is a fight
to try to thrive. This is a fight for you and
I, a fight for getting by, a fight to feel alive. This is a fight to survive. This is a fight
to try to thrive. This is a fight for you and
I, a fight for getting by, a fight to feel alive. This is a fight for you and
I, a fight for getting by, a fight to feel alive. This is a fight to survive. This is a fight
to try to thrive. This is a fight for you and
I, a fight for getting by, a fight to feel alive.

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