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God Bless America, Except Baltimore

God Bless America, Except Baltimore


BUT I DO THINK IT’S REMARKABLE
THAT OUR PRESIDENT CLAIMED TO STAND BY THE HEROES OF ONE OF
AMERICA’S GREAT CITIES. BECAUSE HE SPENT THE WEEKEND
TRASHING ANOTHER ONE. AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT
IN OUR ONGOING SEGMENT: “IS DONALD TRUMP A RACIST?”
EPISODE THREE — MILLION. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>BEEN GOING ON FOR A LONG
TIME.>>Stephen: PREVIOUSLY ON “IS
DONALD TRUMP A RACIST?” YES. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT SOME PEOPLE AREN’T CONVINCED. NOT EVEN AFTER HIS TWITTER
ATTACK THIS WEEKEND ON CHAIRMAN OF THE HOUSE OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE
AND MAN WATCHING HIS WHITE COWORKERS EXPLAIN “GET OUT” TO
HIM, ELIJAH CUMMINGS. ( LAUGHTER )
CUMMINGS RECENTLY CRITICIZED THE CONDITIONS AT THE MEXICO BORDER,
SO TRUMP TOOK OFFENSE, TWEETING, “REP, ELIJAH CUMMINGS HAS BEEN A
BRUTAL BULLY, SHOUTING AND SCREAMING AT THE GREAT MEN AND
WOMEN OF BORDER PATROL ABOUT CONDITIONS AT THE SOUTHERN
BORDER, WHEN ACTUALLY HIS BALTIMORE DISTRICT IS FAR WORSE
AND MORE DANGEROUS. HIS DISTRICT IS CONSIDERED THE
WORST IN THE USA DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT, DOT,
DOT AS PROVEN LAST WEEK DURING A CONGRESSIONAL TOUR, THE
BORDER IS CLEAN, EFFICIENT AND WELL RUN, JUST VERY CROWDED. CUMMINGS’ DISTRICT IS A
DISGUSTING, RAT AND RODENT INFESTED MESS. IF HE SPENT MORE TIME IN
BALTIMORE, MAYBE HE COULD HELP CLEAN UP THIS VERY DANGEROUS AND
FILTHY PLACE.” ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
( BOOING ) TRUMP IS PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES. FUN FACT: YOU KNOW WHERE
BALTIMORE IS LOCATED? THE UNITED STATES. (SINGING AS TRUMP)
♪ GOD BLESS AMERICA ♪ ♪ EXCEPT BALTIMORE ♪
♪ THEY’VE GOT RATS THERE ♪ ♪ NO MAGA HATS THERE ♪
♪ AI VOID IT BECAUSE THEY ARE POOR ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( HUMMING )
NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE CALLED TRUMP’S WORDS RACIST, SO HE
FIRED BACK ON TWITTER: “THERE IS NOTHING RACIST IN
STATING PLAINLY WHAT MOST PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW, THAT ELIJAH
CUMMINGS HAS DONE A TERRIBLE JOB FOR THE PEOPLE OF HIS DISTRICT,
AND OF BALTIMORE ITSELF. DEMS ALWAYS PLAY THE RACE CARD
WHEN THEY ARE UNABLE TO WIN WITH FACTS. SHAME!”
OH, SO THE ONLY REASON TO CALL SOMEBODY RACIST IS BECAUSE YOU
CAN’T WIN AN ARGUMENT WITH FACTS. INTERESTING. HE CONTINUED, “IF RACIST ELIJAH
CUMMINGS WOULD FOCUS MORE OF HIS ENERGY ON HELPING THE
GOOD PEOPLE OF HIS DISTRICT, AND BALTIMORE ITSELF, PERHAPS
PROGRESS COULD BE MADE IN FIXING THE MESS THAT HE HAS HELPED TO
CREATE.” (AS TRUMP)
“I’M NOT THE RACIST, HE’S THE RACIST. AFTER ALL, I WOULDN’T HAVE SAID
ANYTHING RACIST AT ALL IF HE WAS WHITE!”
( LAUGHTER ) REVEREND AL SHARPTON ANNOUNCED
THAT HE WAS GOING TO DO AN EVENT IN BALTIMORE TODAY TO PROTEST
TRUMP’S RACIST TWEET, SO TRUMP FIRED OUT ANOTHER ONE:
“I HAVE KNOWN AL FOR 25 YEARS. WENT TO FIGHTS WITH HIM AND DON
KING, ALWAYS GOT ALONG WELL. HE ‘LOVED TRUMP!’
HE WOULD ASK ME FOR FAVORS OFTEN.” OH, THAT’S NICE. THEY’RE FRIENDS. “AL IS A CON MAN, A
TROUBLEMAKER, ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A SCORE. JUST DOING HIS THING. MUST HAVE INTIMIDATED
COMCAST/NBC. HATES WHITES AND COPS!”
HERE’S HOW OUT OF TOUCH THE PRESIDENT IS, HE THINKS “HATES
WHITES AND COPS” IS MORE DAMNING THAN, “HUNG OUT WITH
DONALD TRUMP AND DON KING.” TRUMP SENT OUT THE USUAL
SUSPECTS TO DEFEND HIM ON THE SUNDAY SHOWS. FIRST UP, TRUMP ACTING CHIEF OF
STAFF AND HARRY POTTER EXPLAINING THAT VOLDEMORT’S GOT
SOME GOOD IDEAS. ( LAUGHTER )
MICK MULVANEY. MULVANEY WENT ON FOX NEWS
SUNDAY, WHERE CHRIS WALLACE BROUGHT UP THE PATTERN OF
TRUMP’S RACISM:>>YOU SAY IT HAS ZERO TO DO
WITH RACE– THERE IS A CLEAR PATTERN HERE, MICK. THE PRESIDENT TWEETED ABOUT JOHN
LEWIS, A BLACK CONGRESSMAN THAT HE SHOULD– THIS IS BEFORE HIS
INAUGURATION– HE SHOULD SPEND TIME IN HIS CRIME-INFESTED
DISTRICT. THEN, TWO WEEKS AGO, HE GOES
AFTER THESE FOUR MEMBERS OF “THE SQUAD,” ALL WOMEN OF COLOR, AND
SAYS THEY SHOULD GO BACK TO THE CRIME-INFESTED COUNTRIES
FROM WHICH THEY COME. THEN HE TALKS ABOUT ELIJAH
CUMMINGS AND HE SAYS HIS DISTRICT IS RAT AND
RODENT-INFESTED. INFESTED. IT SOUNDS LIKE VERMIN. IT SOUNDS SUBHUMAN. AND THESE ARE ALL SIX MEMBERS OF
CONGRESS WHO ARE PEOPLE OF COLOR.>>I THINK YOU’RE SPENDING
WAY TOO MUCH TIME READING BETWEEN THE LINE. DOES ANYBODY–
(CROSSTALK)>>WALLACE, I’M NOT READING
BETWEEN THE LINES. I’M READING THE LINES. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: NICELY DONE! NICELY DONE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>>BRAVO! BRAVO!>>Stephen: CHRIS WALLACE JUST
STEPPED UP TO MICK MULVANEY AND SAID, HEY, MICK, READ BETWEEN
THESE LINES .” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MULVANEY CONTINUED:>>DOES ANYONE WATCHING THIS
PROGRAM DISPUTE THE FACT OR THE POSSIBILITY THAT IF ADAM SCHIFF
HAS SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT THE BORDER, THAT THE PRESIDENT
WOULD BE ATTACKING ADAM SCHIFF THE EXACT SAME WAY TODAY?>>I DON’T THINK HE’D BE TALKING
ABOUT HIS CRIME-INFESTED, RODENT-INFESTED DISTRICT.>>HE VERY WELL COULD. IT HAS ZERO TO DO WITH THE FACT
THAT ADAM IS JEWISH. SCWHREE, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!>>STEPHEN: WOW! PRO TIP: IF YOU’RE TRYING TO
DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM ACCUSATIONS OF BEING A WHITE
SUPREMACIST, MAYBE DON’T USE THE EXCUSE, “DONALD TRUMP’S NOT
RACIST– HE’D SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT JEWS!”
( LAUGHTER ) ANOTHER TRUMP DEFENDER WAS
FLORIDA SENATOR RICK SCOTT. HE WAS ON CHUCK THE MEET
AND HIS BRAIN DONE BROKE.>>BUT THAT JUSTIFIES A RACIAL
RESENTMENT TWEET IN RESPONSE? IS THAT PRESIDENTIAL LEADERSHIP?>>WELL, LOOK, I, I, LOOK, I
DIDN’T DO THE TWEETS, CHUCK.>>STEPHEN: (AS SCOTT)
UH, OH, AH, EHH, OH… I’M JUST —
( STAMMERING ) ( PIANO RIFF )
I’M JUST GOING TO KEEP MAKING SOUNDS TILL YOU CUT TO
COMMERCIAL. UH OH, AH, EHH, OH! ( LAUGHTER )
BEFORE THAT INTERVIEW STARTED, RICK SCOTT HAD A FULL HEAD OF
HAIR. ( LAUGHTER )
AND IT WASN’T JUST BALTIMORE. TRUMP ALSO TWEETED, “SPEAKING OF
FAILING BADLY, HAS ANYONE SEEN WHAT IS HAPPENING TO NANCY
PELOSI’S DISTRICT IN SAN FRANCISCO. IT IS NOT EVEN RECOGNIZABLE
LATELY. SOMETHING MUST BE DONE BEFORE IT
IS TOO LATE.” (AS TRUMP)
SAN FRANCISCO USED TO BE A BEAUTIFUL CITY WHERE JOE
DIMAGGIO WOULD DRIVE A CABLE CAR RIGHT UP TO YOUR HOUSE WITH HOT
RICE-A-RONI. ( LAUGHTER )
TODAY, TONY BENNETT LEFT HIS HEART THERE AND IT WAS STOLEN BY
A HOMELESS GUY. ( LAUGHTER )
TRUMP HAS ALSO GONE AFTER NEW YORK, LOS ANGELES, AND CHICAGO,
AND CALLED THE PEOPLE OF IOWA STUPID. AT THIS RATE, HE’S GOING TO
TAKE THE FLAG AND REPLACE HALF THE STARS WITH POOP EMOJIS. ( LAUGHTER )
WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

100 thoughts on “God Bless America, Except Baltimore”

  1. It’s funny how Trump claims to love America (and claims all his opponents hate it) when he has publicly disparaged half the country in the most rancid ways.

    Can you imagine the Republicunts reaction if Obama had spoken about anywhere in the US that way?! And yet Drumpf, himself the son of immigrants, has carte blanche to denigrate entire US cities time and time again.

    Unbelievable.

  2. Its amazing how republiCONS point 2 citie that are recessed. But they completely 4get that Mississippi, Alabama, West Virginia, Kentucky, Georgia all are republiCON held states that have the equivalent to 3world nations as far as healthcare, education, housing,birth rates and employment.

  3. For someone who tells people who complains about the country to go back to "where they came from", he complains about the country a lot.

  4. There's a difference between the criticism of America by the Squad, and by Trump.

    The Squad point out problems that need to be resolved, and work towards getting them resolved.

    Trump just complains, and does nothing except sit on his backside and tweet about it.

  5. Majority of Americans do nothing about their President and government lying to them about Muslims, violence, racism, etc…

  6. Dammit Steve Co ! Nailed it with that Trump-verse version of God Bless America. He's the WORST (a new word is required to adequately quantify and capture the degree of DISGUST and DISDAIN collectively felt for Orange Foolius) and an ALTOGETHER SHIT HUMAN BEING.

  7. This form of social criticism went out of style in 2016. Colbert doesn't seem to realize it, but here he is actually working for Blondie, whose supporters are legion. They despise Stephen's brand of mordant humor and pandering dialog. He will say anything for applause while leading the sheep down the rosy path, but it can't end well for the sheep. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=baltimore+decay

  8. Baltimore sucks I’m there every 2 days it doesn’t matter what color you are. If your in a certain area, mfs might roll up on you and blast off just for fun, tf are y’all taking about.

  9. Wow!! This guy is the kind of assh*le that other assh*les looks at and go, "now there's a real assh*le." 2020 can't come soon enough so we can vote this clown on Jerry Springer mode off the office.

  10. As a Baltimore Native I can agree there are lots of rats and trash. But if Trump wants to pull up and say that shit here we can introduce him to our greatest talent, popping rounds in his fucking chest.

  11. I´m sorry, but i don´t understand to this (I´m from Czech republic). Baltimore is really a shithole, full of crime, full of garbage, full of destroyed buildings etc. I saw the video in which the mayor of Baltimore really yelling like a bully on some border patrol officer. Can you, as the americans explain to me, as to foreigner, what is racist to tell the responsible official to take care about his district or city? Why you want to see racism in everything? If you are an idiot and people are acting with you as with idiot, so its because you are an idiot and not because you are blue with pink dots. I´m watching the videos from both sides – left and right, and as foreigner this video is really stupid.

  12. Because the missing billions of dollars missing that was originally for them to help the community, but Dems are crooks and the money is spectacularly missing. Dipshits all of you. He is just exploiting how dems controlled baltimore for the last decade and fails to care for their citizens. Colbert is so outdated. You do realize that the rats are actually huge and they are infesting their neighborhoods due to the trash.

  13. Never told bad word on blue state or you a racist, Sanders comment on Baltimore is exempted because he is a Democrats. Trump landslide 2020 victory against Democrats talking socialism

  14. Baltimore isn't great Detroit and all these other places are shit holes I wouldn't ever step foot near any of those places

  15. Trump isn`t really Racist… he just acks that way to stay relevant with his Christian supporters.
    Christians are the only thing standing in the gap between Trump and a jail cell.

  16. I thought I was a pretty left-leaning guy… promoting equality, equal treatment of all, taking care of the environment… but I do not wish to be associated with people who think the president telling members of congress to help clean up their districts is racist. It’s “looking for a problem” and it’s shameful. Fuck this leftist aggression. Be sensible, be impartial, make up your own mind. Your country is being destroyed by political polarization, and shows like these are a big contributor to that.

  17. Stephen Colbert you are the joke. Elijah Cummings said the same thing as Trump did. Mayors of Baltimore have said the same thing about RATS. Get off your elite high horse Colbert and SUCK IT.

  18. What the hell is this guy talking about there is long time TV series even how about how corrupt and disgusting is Baltimore so what the hell are these people clapping about

  19. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU8aWfFijOc The people of Baltimore react to President Trump's comments.

  20. It's about time that someone like President Trump, gave us a report on how different states and districts are doing. It's about time that someone as great as Donald Trump is our president!! GO DONALD TRUMP! NEVER give in to your haters!! TRUMP 2020!

  21. Soooo, yes what he is saying sounds horrible. And I hate Trump. But let's be honest. Baltimore is in bad shape.
    Chicago is pretty bad too.

  22. Not one person asking for the rights to protect themselves,family and
    neighbors. Stop running we are not cattle the law never gets there in
    time (how much proof do you need) that should mean protect
    yourself,family and neighbors now call the law later . We are truly
    divided when we turn and run

  23. "Folks. Every city in our country sucks because they don't support me."
    Asshole. Maybe shut up and do your job and they will.

  24. Yuri Bezmenov accomplished his goal on the left. It's only been about 40 years. It's what these NPC's have been raised on. You breakfast is ready, time to get out of your mom's basement.

  25. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS STICK-ON TRUMP?
    OBAMA LET USA ECONOMY FLEW AWAY TO CHINA AND CREATED A HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT RATE.
    TRUMP, AT LEAST, DOES A LOT TO GET THAT JOBS BACK AND THE ONLY PRESIDENT WHO OPPOSE TO RISING FASCIST CHINA.

  26. As a resident of Florida, I can testify that our former governor Rick Scott is one of the most vile, mean, nasty psychopaths in America, right up there with the Predator-In-Chief himself. Every time I see that ghastly skull-face, I can't help but picture crossed bones underneath. It's greedy soulless subhumans like him and the Orange Menace who are responsible for ramping up the wave of violence sweeping this country.

  27. Now, I'm not from the US, so I might be wrong, but I'm honestly curious; Trump said "rat and rodent infested". What other rodents besides rats was he talking about? Has Cumming witnessed a recent flood or rabid squirrels? XD

  28. That's right: Don't bless any part of America which has very very seriously & obviously fucked up by Leftist politics. Big waste of time, quite seriously.

    Just let Leftists clean up their very own mess. Oh, wait? They can't do any such thing, nor do they want to, nor are they capable of admitting there's a problem.

  29. Then question can go from whether Trump is racist to whether he is just too stupid to realize it and is just making an innocent mistake.

  30. Haha, so good. What does the "Hey Mick, read between THESE lines", hand gesture Colbert made mean, with the ring, middle & index finger mean?

  31. Americas population of hispanics is 17 percent at a population of 56million so if another million came in want would the percentage be 18 percent. Really an 18 percent minority is an invasion.

  32. Has anyone noticed the US infested with white male american terrorists spreading death, wounded, and fear?
    Why is the president of the US not doing anything about it in stead of twittering about crowd sizes?

  33. Born, raised and educated in the great city of Baltimore! 🦀
    Does our city have problems? Absolutely! Every city has issues. If Trump doesn’t like the cities in our nation, he can feel free to leave! Adiós! ✌🏾

  34. Hey would you please do another Trump impression? I hate to make such a special request. But seriously one more f**** Trump impression. I understand if you say no because your pipes are worn out. It's okay. I can take solace in the fact that you and Puerto Rico have the same problem.

  35. I don't like Trump, but I don't really think he is racist. He goes against anyone who tries to criticize him and alot of times minorities critizice because those are the people who voted against him. Obama defended himself against white republicans, Trump defends himself against black democrats.

  36. Let's not forget that Trump's son-in-law has a vested interest in the real estate in the Baltimore City area so if it walks like a rat talks like a rat and smells like a rat it's probably a rat

  37. A liberal and an Idiot walk into a bar and tell the bartender they don't know what to think! The bartender smiles and says do not worry, let me turn on mainstream media!!! Now that's funny, sad, and TRUE!

  38. That wasn’t racist. It just wasn’t. I don’t like Trump but quit calling EVERYTHING racist. It just pisses people off and makes it more likely Trump will win. And Sharption is a con man and a race baiter. Remember Tawana Brawey??

  39. From everything I've seen (and I don't mean what the media tells me I've seen), Trump is not a racist. He's an asshole and an imbecile and I do believe he's dragging America into the gutter, AND he will gladly turn a blind eye to racism and bigotry when it suits his needs. However, I have not seen he, himself, act in a racist manner. Trump attacks anybody who disagrees with him, regardless of their color, religion, gender, political views or whatever. But whenever he attacks someone of color, suddenly he's a racist? No, he's not a racist. He truly is an equal opportunity lowlife.

  40. I'm from Turkey…Firstly my English isnt so good, i'm sorry. This performance, specially, Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers, Trevor Noah are really amazing, i love these shows has an excellent humor, great parodies, sarcasm, ironies… Trump is really like a comedian. He doesn't care about his people. Racism and discrimination were fueled. This is not only disaster for the US citizens, but also big disaster for the world! He doesn't know how to speak and how to make sentences! Like joke! My heart is together with democrats, leftists and libertarians. Loves from Turkey buddies.

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