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I shouldn’t have seen that | Components Ready Ep 2 |

I shouldn’t have seen that | Components Ready Ep 2 |


Porn. It’s the elephant in the room. Well more like a cloth eared elephant, you
know when you turn your pockets inside out and shake your willy around… No? Just me then. You’ve seen it. Your friends have seen. Your family, your parents have probably seen
it. Everybody’s watched it. Except for me. Which means I’ll be basing this episode
entirely on hearsay. I was climbing a rope in gym class when my
penis formal introduced itself. We were quickly shuffled in front of a television
only come face to face with… *Sex Ed VO* The penis, the external male sex
organ is located in the… It looked like a forgotten creature from the
deep. The kind James Cameron would make a film about. Which still wouldn’t be as scary or as convoluted
as the internal workings of a woman’s reproductive system… *Sex Ed VO* The egg leaves the ovary and journeys
down the fallopian tube. Onto the see-saw catapulting the diver into
the pool causing the cage to fall down. And that’s mouse trap! Toby. I’m trying to tell you I’m pregnant. Aaeerughr. It wasn’t until Channel 5’s Friday night
TV schedule where I really learnt the secrets of sex. That and magic. Welcome back. The Masked magician makes his entrance…what
a showman! Now for the illusion. Remember don’t try this at home. Nope, that’s not going anywhere. Let’s try that again. His thumb visibly moves across his hand. Obviously there has to be a logical explanation
and there is. The thumb you’re seeing is actually from
his other hand. I bet you didn’t see that the first time
did you? And the Masked Magician has done it again. Just don’t pull his finger. Next on Channel 5, ‘Indecent Behaviour’ *Trailer VO* Everybody’s getting off but
somebody’s getting off. Did you need to expect THIS, detective? Yep, thats herpes. That joke’s actually not funny because I
actually had herpes once. But I don’t anymore. It was around this time I wanted to see women naked. Doing stuff. Between Friday night’s erotic thrillers
and dodgy photoshops of Sabrina that could have only been composited by
Picasso. My friends and I had to use our imagination. Baby, you remember what it looks like right. Bingo *laughs* Then through a chance meeting with some passing
eastern European men. These are not stolen goods! I stumbled across a treasure trove of Video
CDs. Not quite a video, not quite a CD, these disks
quickly littered the playground like Tamagotchis. It’s a good one this. Except they weren’t Tamagotchis, they were
hardcore porn. Here you go. Oh thanks. Soon, the entire cultural world was at our
fingertips thanks to peer to peer file sharing services like limewire. Music, movies, video games, limewire pro…that
fucking Matrix screensaver. We had it all, and for free! But there was really only one thing people
used it for. Oh god! Who wants to see a man sit on a glass jar? I witnessed a starship get sucked into a blackhole
vagina, a woman pushing a fanta can out of her bum
and a girl having sex with a horse. RIP. This wasn’t what we learnt at school! Syphilis, genital warts and gonorrhoea. The only to get aids of course was my fucking
computer. *Squeezing sound* Oh, thanks! But porn has come a long way since then. So I hear. So what better place to learn about the adult
entertainment industry than the UK’s largest sexual health and lifestyle expo. SEXpo. They called its SEXpo. We went to SEXpo, go. I went to SEXpo, OK? It turns out my catholic upbringing hadn’t
quite prepared me for well…Triceracock. My fellow perverts and I didn’t really know
what to expect. But it wasn’t this. These performances are what I’d expect to
find at an adult version of butlins. Butplugins, if you will. The whole thing was just the opposite of sexy. They should have just taken sex out the name
and called it po. As it did have the same amount of sex appeal
as a Teletubby. Tubby custard! This artist was using his member to paint
customer’s portraits. He SHOULD be called Prickasso. Oh, he is. The biggest surprise of SEXpo was when the
undertaker came out and made a surprise return. But that turned out to be more naked women,
which in hindsight did make more sense. It was then time to learn how to pull a pornstar. *Religious music plays* Ever since I was a kid girls have made me
nervous. Hurry up Natalya! Watch out! Get down! Oh christ. And it’s kind of getting easier and easier
for guys to avoid all physical interaction with them thanks to apps like Tinder. Fortunately on Tinder, if you go and talk
to the guy in Pewter City and then surf by Seafoam islands you’ll eventually stumble
across a wild Missingno. So, do you come here often? *Missing Cries* All I really want is a girl with big brown
eyes, short dark hair, small sumptuous lips. Maybe she’s cultured, wears a small green
beret. Is it Maria? I’m trying to talk to the… The way that girls are presented online it’s easy to forget they’re real people. Google it – they are. According to porn though, what I really want is a girl that looks like my first attempt in Create-a-wrestler mode. I know what I’m making bigger. BIGGER. She’s beautiful. Porn is often violent. It’s like a battle. There’s choking and slapping. Because men! Manly men! I don’t know what love is, whats love. Who said I like kissing. I don’t like kissing. I don’t want to know if I’m watching a
porno. Or Smackdown. Will somebody stop the dayum match! Enoughs enough! Ooh, he has JR. He has. In 2015, we watched 75gb of porn per second. Well not ‘we’ as in me and you. Although it does seem that way sometimes. On your side. 75gb though, this is a 64 gb phone. Imagine if this was full of porn. Well you don’t have to imagine, it is full
of porn. But more than this, every second. Imagine how much spanking that is! Well, unless you’re in the UK that is. You see, our government quietly banned spanking,
face sitting and female ejaculation. As a method of safeguarding our children. Sure I should have been older than twelve before
seeing my first Octo-porn. But we’re not going to stop watching porn. And women certainly aren’t going to stop
ejaculating. You know if that even exists. I guess, as it become more and more normal
we should start treating it for what it is. Porn, it’s fantasy. Real women are much better – so instead of
watching girls. Maybe try and talk to one. Hey, I’m just making this video… Fuck off. Thank you so much for watching my video! This video was actually sponsored by LiveJasmne. LiveJasmine is a great online service where
you ca-it’s not sponsored. Don’t be silly. If you like this video and want more of my
questionable content, please subscribe, thumbs up the video and follow me on twitter for
updates. See you soon.

25 thoughts on “I shouldn’t have seen that | Components Ready Ep 2 |”

  1. This is awesome Toby ❤️ good to see u back! But.. i think my videos are a little better… 😏

  2. so, i haven't watched youtube videos from my subscription box for years, but i am so glad that this is one of the first videos i see. also, i feel like you described me, which makes me feel special. B)

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