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Jeff Goldblum Lives More In Ten Minutes Than Most People Do In A Lifetime

Jeff Goldblum Lives More In Ten Minutes Than Most People Do In A Lifetime


FOLKS, I’VE SAID IT BEFORE, I’LL
SAY IT AGAIN, THERE’S NO ONE LIKE MY FIRST GUEST. YOU’VE LOVED HIM IN “JURASSIC
PARK,” “INDEPENDENCE DAY,” AND “THOR: RAGNAROK.” PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE “LATE
SHOW,” JEFF GOLDBLUM! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( BAND PLAYING ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: NICE-TO-TO SEE YOU.>>NICE TO SEE YOU.>>Stephen: I DON’T KNOW IF
YOU HEARD JON AND I TALKING BEFORE, WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT
IF YOU WANT THAT JEFF GOLDBLUM FEELING, THERE’S ONLY ONE SOURCE
AND THAT’S JEFF GOLDBLUM. YOU’RE A LIMITED RESOURCE.>>YOU’RE SO SWEET.>>Stephen: YOU’RE A LIMITED
RESOURCE, JEFF GOLDBLUM. YOU’RE PRECIOUS CARGO. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.>>THANK YOU SO MUCH. I LIVE MY WHOLE DAYS WITH YOU. I WATCH YOU ON YOUTUBE ALL THE
DAYS. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR FINGER? WHAT HAPPENED THERE?>>Stephen: WHEN I WAS ON
VACATION, I REALLY RAKED THE BACK OF THIS FINGER RIGHT HERE
FISHING ON SORT OF THE ROUGH EDGE OF A BOAT ON THE GUNNEL,
YOU KNOW, WHERE YOU’RE –>>I DON’T KNOW WHAT A GUNNEL
IS.>>Stephen: GUNNEL IS THE TOP. YOU DO NOT BOAT, JEFF GOLDBLUM?>>NO. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: ANYWAY, I SCRATCHED IT AND I THINK IT GOT
INFECTED SO IT’S TAKING A WHILE TO HEAL.>>DIDN’T YOU BUT ON NEOSPORIN
AND CLEAN IT OUT RIGHT AWAY?>>Stephen: NO, I WAS OUT TO
SEE, FISH GUTS AND ALL THAT, VERY MANLY. WHY DO YOU HAVE RICO LA ON MY
DESK?>>I HAD IT BACKSTAGE AND DIDN’T
WANT TO UPSET MY POCKET TO I PUT IT OUT HERE.>>Stephen: I FEEL LIKE WE’RE
ABOUT TO PLAY POKER IN PRISON. WHAT YOU GOT, RICO LA, I HAVE
ADVIL. DEALER TAKES TWO! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>HOW MUCH ADVIL DO YOU TAKE?>>Stephen: NOT THIS MANY. REALLY. WHO IS HOOKED ON LOTS OF AS
PRISON EVERY DAY, HE KEPT TAKING CHARACTER EVERY DAY, WHAT
CHARACTER IN WHAT MOVIE, ASPIRIN JUNKY.>>Stephen: WILLIAM BOROUGHS
IN NAKED LUNCH?>>NO.>>Stephen: YOU DON’T KNOW. I’M TRYING TO GIVE YOU A
CLUE, TWO NEFARIOUS CHARACTERS. BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE, ONE IS
PLAYED BY SCOTT WILSON.>>Stephen: THAT DOES NOT HELP
IN ANY WAY. ( LAUGHTER )
>>THE ORIGINAL BOOK WAS WRITTEN BY TRUMAN CAPOTE.>>Stephen: IN COLD BLOOD. YES.>>Stephen: THERE IT IS. WHAT DO I WIN?>>RICOLA? ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.>>DON’T YOU LIKE A NICE RICOLA? I LIKE HALL’S, TOO.>>Stephen: I LIKE THAT. I’M INTO THE RICOLA LEMON MINT,
SUGAR FREE.>>I DON’T KNOW IT.>>Stephen: THE SUGAR FREE
LEMON MINT, POP IT IN BETWEEN THE CHEEK AND GUM AND GET FULL
LEMON FLAVOR WITHOUT HAVING TO LIGHT UP.>>BETWEEN THE CHEEK AND GUM.>>Stephen: THE OGG OLD CHAO. EVER CHEWED TOBACCO?>>Stephen: I WENT TO COLLEGE
IN VIRGINIA A COUPLE OF YEARS AND LEGALLY YOU HAD TO CHEW IN
CLASS.>>”THE MOUNTAIN,” RICK
ALVEERSON DIRECTED THAT MOVIE. WHERE IS RICK AND HIS OTHER HALF
EMILY? WHERE ARE THEY?>>Stephen: HERE THEY ARE! HE DIRECTED THE MOVIE!>>Stephen: 100%! ONE HUNDRED%! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WHAT’S AN OUT AND ABOUT?>>– WHAT’S “THE MOUNTAIN”
ABOUT?>>I PLAY A GUY TAKEN FROM THE
REAL GUY –>>Stephen: BASED ON A TRUE
STORY?>>EXTRAPOLATED FROM AND SPRUNG
POETICALLY OFF OF, I THINK ONE MAY SAY. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: HOLD ON. THAT’S OUR SHOW. DRIVE SAFELY.>>Stephen: I JUST WANT TO
KNOW, HAVE WE RECORDED ANY OF THIS SO FAR? ALL RIGHT, SO WHAT HAPPENS?>>SO HERE’S WHAT HAPPENS — MY
CHARACTER, IT LIKES, SOMETHING LIKE THE REAL CHARACTER,
INTRODUCED LOBOTOMY TO AMERICA IN THE ’40s AND THE ’50s.>>Stephen: HE WAS THE GUY WHO
WAS GOING AROUND LA BOT MIZEING PEOPLE LIKE THROUGH THE EYE?>>HE CAME UP WITH THAT. IT USED TO BE DONE WITH A SURGE
PARTNER AND THROUGH THE SKULL. HE SAID FORGET THE SURGEON, I’M
GOING TO GET THE ICE PICKS THROUGH THE FRIDGE, I’M GOING TO
GO THROUGH THE EYEBALL AND WIND CHILD WIPER AROUND A LITTLE BIT
AND HE GOT PEOPLE AT THAT POINT, LIKE A LOT OF MANLY OLD-STYLE
PATRIARCHAL MEN, MISBEHAVING HOUSEWIVES AND ROUNDED UP ACTIVE
KIDS AND HOMOSEXUALS AND FIXED THEM UP WITH THIS TREATMENT. GRUESOME.>>Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP
HERE. CAN YOU TELL US?>>YOU’RE AT A BOWLING ALLEY FOR
SOME REASON.>>YES. WE DON’T SAY MUCH IN THE MOVIE,
MUCH OF IT IS SUBTERRANEAN, BUT MY INNARDS ARE DISTURBED AND I’M
DOING THINGS ON THE TABLE AND I’M TOUGH AND AUTHORITARIAN IN
THE HOSPITALS, BUT AT HOME I GET DRUNK AND I SMOKE MY PIPE —
SPEAKING OF TOBACCO — AND I PICK UP WOMEN AND I GET THIS KID
WITH ME PLAYED BY THE EXCELLENT TY SHERIDAN TO COME ALONG WITH
ME AND TAKE PICTURES SO WE GET A CHRONICLE OF THE WHOLE DARN
BUSINESS. I TAKE HIM AND HE’S A VIRGIN AT
THIS POINT, AND HE’S A YOUNG KID, AND —
( LAUGHTER )>>Stephen: THAT LIKELY
SOUNDED MORE LIKE GOSSIP THAN A DESCRIPTION OF THE MOVIE — THIS
KID’S A VIRGIN!>>THE WHOLE THING IS EXCITING. IN THIS SCENE, I GET HIM A
DRINK. HE’S NEVER HAD A DRINK. I’M SHOWING OFF MY SKILLS —
>>Stephen: JIM, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ROLL THE CLIP.>>THERE YOU GO. OKAY. OKAY. OH! DID IT GO DOWN? DID I KNOCK IT DOWN? SOMETIMES IT GOES DOWN. COME HERE. COME HERE. OH. TOM COLLINS FOR THE YOUNG
PHOTOGRAPHER THERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: LOOK AT THOSE COLORS. LOOK AT THOSE SIPHONED OUT
COLORS. LOOK AT THAT KUBRICKESQUE
SHINING KIND OF MUSIC. ONE OF THE THINGS WE DO
THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE IS TAKE THE NOSTALGIA GLOW THAT’S EVEN NOW
SUPPOSED TO BE REVISITED AND FOUND BACK THEN AND WE
DEROMANTICIZE IT.>>Stephen: WOW. WOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THAT ONE SENTENCE, THIS IS WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU, THAT ONE
SENTENCE WAS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE IT WAS
GOING, I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE THE NEXT WORD WOULD BE.>>I DIDN’T EITHER.>>Stephen: I DIDN’T KNOW IF I
NEEDED TO GIVE YOU CPR.>>BOOM!>>Stephen: BOOM! I LIVE MORE IN TEN MINUTES
THAN MOST PEOPLE DO IN AN ENTIRE LIFETIME.>>Stephen: I KNOW. THAT’S NOT TRUE.>>Stephen: NO, IT IS. I’M JUST SHOWING OFF.>>Stephen: I IMAGINE THAT
YOU, JEFF GOLDBLUM, REALLY TAKE SUMMER JUST BY THE HANDLE. YOU WOULDN’T LET SUMMER GET AWAY
FROM YOU BECAUSE WE ONLY GET SO MANY, AND LIFE, THIS IS WHERE
LIFE PROVES THAT IT IS. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW YOU’VE GOT ME TALKING LIKE YOU. LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I USED TO MAKE MORE SENSE THAN
THIS.>>THE HIGH WOMAN CAME RIDING UP
TO THE OLDEN DOOR.>>Stephen: THE WIND WAS A
TORRENT OF DARKNESS AMONG THE GUSTY TREES AND THE MOON WAS A
GHOSTLY GALLION TOSSED UPON CLOUDY SEAS AND THE ROAD WAS A
ROOM OF MOONLIGHT OVER THE PURPOSING MOORE AS THE OLD MAN
CAME RIDING AND RIDING UP TO THE OPEN DOOR OVER THE COBBLES.>>BLACK BUCKS IN A WINE BARLED
ROOM, BARLED HOUSE KINGS WITH FEET INSTABLE, SAD AND REELED
AND POUND OPENED THE TABLE WITH A BARREL OF A BOOM, BOOMLY
BOOMLY BOOMLY BOOM! VAICHLE LINDSEY. YOU KNOW THAT?>>Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A
LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK.

79 thoughts on “Jeff Goldblum Lives More In Ten Minutes Than Most People Do In A Lifetime”

  1. When Stephen was about to put the advils back in the container, he got yelled in his earpiece: 'Throw 'em into the trash can!'

  2. jeff goldblum seems like the super cool science teacher that everybody loves but is just a little bit off and nobody can quite put their finger on what it is about him because the second you get close to figuring it out he chaotically breaks off into a random tangent about avocados and everybody loses their thought process

  3. Jeff Goldblum god bless him, has no rhythm at all, he cannot get into the band at all. He's still a national treasure tho.

  4. Can someone make a compilation of all the times jeff goldbloom offers someone a cough drop/throws his glasses on the talk show hosts desk?

  5. I expected to see him have his Ricola by salivating hid corrosive spit on it and then suck down the ensuing hodgepodge

  6. Jeff is one the few actors who's remained true blue and has not been twisted by Hollywood thank God he doesn't take himself seriously and can have fun

  7. Only these two gentlemen can have that kind of conversation and bounce back from it. That's why they are where they are.

  8. Just another zionist. He has probaly molested alot of children to. it Will all come our sooner or later is in there talmud that is Ok to rape children.

  9. Jeff could sell me anything, and i would buy it. The actual movie scene was sulky, but his description of the scene was grandiose.

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