Articles Blog

Mercenary Cheerleader | MPGIS S4 | Episode 5

Mercenary Cheerleader | MPGIS S4 | Episode 5

Previously on The Most Popular Girls in School… I’m a free agent. A pom pom for hire. You’re
looking at Brittnay Matthews: Mercenary Cheerleader. Hey you guys, so I was wondering, Deandra
here writes some pretty great songs. Can you guys use this equipment to record music too? Get out of me poop! Get out of me poop! Hi, I’m Brittnay Matthews. Cut! That was magnifique! Goddamit Saison! I wasn’t finished-that’s
just the first line! Oh, oh there is more. Ok then, back to ones.
And how do you say, action! Hi, I’m Brittnay Matthews. Goddamit!  Cut! Saison, will you lock down your fucking audio
engineer?! So sorry, ok can we get the boom out of the
shot? Ok, here we go, here we go. How do you say, action! Hi, I’m Brittnay Matthews. Son of a bitch! Saison what is wrong with
that fucking baby?! Oh well, is either hungry or she has to how
do you say poop. It’s ok Baby Brittnay. We are almost done.  Ok, here we go, and action! Hi, I’m Brittnay Matthews- oh, oh God, oh
my- what the fuck is that smell? Oh it’s a poop. That explains the crying.
Mystery solved! Saison, for the love of God, will you please
go change your child’s diaper. Ok if you say so. Come here Little Brittnay! Goddamit. Hey Trisha. Hey Britt. How’s it goin’? Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Mackenzie? Well, seeing as how I’m friends with both
you and Mackenzie, Trisha 2 and I have decided to implement something that we like to call
the Trisha Exchange Program!  The fuck is the Trisha Exchange Program? Here’s how it works: half of my time is going
to be spent hanging out with you. Half of Trisha 2’s time is going to be spent hanging
out with Mackenzie. Once every few hours, we switch and pull the old vice-versa-visa! Soooooo… you like juice? Great. Ooh, a camera! You shootin’ some sweet YouTube
vids? Yeah, I’m trying to shoot a promotional video
for my Mercenary Cheerleading but Saison keeps fucking it up. Ok ok all of le poo-poo has been cleaned up
and we can now resume. Oh hello Trisha! Hello Saison. Alright everybody ready, and- Hey, uh, you just might want to adjust the
F-Stop. Oh ok, and what is this now? Oh, well you know, you’re not gonna want a
shallow depth of field for this shot, so you’re just gonna need to adjust that dial a couple
of clicks and make sure- Wait Trisha, you know something about cameras? Well yeah, I do the Trisha Show for the AV
Club, so I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. Alright then! Trisha you’re in charge. Saison,
you’re fired. Baby, you can stay. Le sigh. Alright people, let’s get quiet, let’s get real,
we’re making art. Roll sound- Alright, and action! Hi there, I’m Brittnay Matthews, and I’m here
to talk you about your cheer needs. Do you have a rival, do you need help kicking someone’s
ass? Well then, look no further than Brittnay Matthews Mercenary Cheerleader. I am an expert
in all of the major facets of cheerleading: Being bitchy, gossiping about enemies, achieving
peak attractiveness and of course, contributing absolutely nothing to the world around me.
Do you need help lowering the self-esteem of somebody who’s already got it worse than
you? Sounds like you need a cheerleader! Do you need help saying something to a sixteen
year old that a normal person wouldn’t say to Hitler? Sounds like you need a cheerleader!
Are you tired of basic bitches who just don’t get it? Sounds like you need a cheerleader.
So visit today to schedule your first booking with Brittnay
Matthews Mercenary Cheerleader! Oh and I can also do all that other cheerleading stuff
too, like flips and holding up signs and shit. Wow, Trisha this is really good.  You’re welcome. I’m totally gonna start getting gigs from
this! Brittnay Matthews Mercenary Cheerleader, what
the fuck do you want? Uh-huh…yeah…for how much? Well I will see you there! Well, I got my first gig. Suck on that, Zales.
I don’t need you now, and I won’t need you ever again. Switch! Ok, now you’re running a film set. Got it. So what are your thoughts on ghosts? Give me an S. Give me an A. Give me an L.
Give me an E. What’s that spell? Great savings for you and your family. Uh hey Britt, can I talk to you for a second? What? I was just, uh, wondering, if you wouldn’t
mind just upping the enthusiasm a little bit? Some of the customers are complaining that
you look a little upset. I am upset. This is fucking bullshit. Can’t
I go do some actual cheerleading work, like you know, beating the fuck out of the manager
at Yankee Candle? Who, Ricky? What?! No, Ricky’s a great guy!
Tell you what, maybe we just need to come up with some more fun cheers for you. How
about this: We like discounts yes we do, we like discounts how about 20% off all greeting
cards now ’til Monday! I just came up with that, wow! Goddamit. Alex. Afternoon, Woodson. Another cheap sales gimmick, huh? What have
you got lined up for next week? An inflatable gorilla? “These prices are bananas!” Hahahaha
oh man I burned you hardcore. Alright I’m off to Wetzel’s to get some pretzels. Who the fuck was that? Ugh, Anthony Penderschmidt Woodson. He runs
the Stationery Emporium on the east side of the mall. Pardon my french, but he’s a real
jerk. I just wish he’d leave me alone. How do you like this you smart-ass son of
a bitch? I don’t, I don’t like it at all. C’mon you gotta believe me. Tell it to the judge. Let’s go chief! I didn’t tell her to do that! I was hired to do a job. I did that job. Your invoice is in the mail. Oh you fucking bitch! You’re a fucking bitch! And taser. Brittnay Matthews Mercenary Cheerleader, what
the fuck do you want? My song, they’re playing my song! They’re
playing my song! You guys! You guys! You’re not gonna believe
it! My song! They’re playing my song at Oak Park Mall! You’re goddamn right they are! You fucking
beautiful bitch, we’re about to make you a star. Whoo! The fuckin’ Geek Squad over here
is cooking up a banging track- Oh yeah, thanks Jenna. I mean, we just fooled around on the synths
for a couple of hours- And you know the beat just really found us. And then I got it put into the mall’s playlist
cycle, because everybody knows having your song played in a mall is like the first step
to a hit. Everybody’s walking around and they’re all like, oh shit what’s that shit, what’s
that shit, alright, and then the song comes on the radio and they’re all like, oh shit,
that’s that song I heard at the mall, yo! Oh yeah, uh, I guess that makes sense. But that’s only the beginning, baby. I just
booked you your first live gig too. Woo! You’re gonna be the headliner at Tanner Christiansen’s
end of the year party! Boom! Oh wow, I hear that’s a pretty big party. It’s only like the biggest fucking party of
the goddamn year. Everyone’s gonna be there. You play that party, you own Overland Park. Oh wow, first live gig huh? I don’t know,
I’ve never played live before. I mean, aren’t we gonna need like backup dancers like choreography,
shit like that? Don’t worry, I’ve got all that taken care
of, not to mention the fact that I just booked you the best choreographer in the entire state
of Kansas. Alright, ladies, let’s try this again from
the top!  I’m sorry, I, I think this dress is kind of
big. Uh yeah and also, are we 100% firm on that
name? What? Deandra and the Poops! That’s a great
name, it’s a classic name, who’s got a problem with that name? I mean I like it. It makes sense. I’m Deandra.
My song’s about poop. Where’s the issue? Well, well, yeah ok I guess, if that’s the
consensus. Alright, everyone, this is from the top! And
a 5-6-7-8! Ah! Ahh! Oh my face! What’s gonna bring all
the boys to the yard now? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, scoot,
scoot, come on, no. Ugh, you girls are doing this all wrong! Well, I mean to be fair, we’re not really
dancers- Yeah, no kidding honey. Now look I know this
is some really complicated choreography, which is what you get when you hire Tristan McKee,
the biggest song and dance man this way of Kansas City, now if we focus really hard,
and watch me, we’re all gonna get this, ok? 5-6-7-8 left arm up, right arm up, turn to
the side, left arm down, right arm down, bend forward, left arm, right arm, left arm, right
arm, both arms up and end it with a spin!

50 thoughts on “Mercenary Cheerleader | MPGIS S4 | Episode 5”

  1. Tanner’s boyfriend kinda reminds me of Frankie, Ariana’s brother aka a broadway producer or something. Also I think he also dances and teaches people how to dance. Yup.

  2. When it showed Tristan as the choreographer, I literally had to pause the video to laugh and just scream, “Yes!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *