Ok, on the count of three say, “Prom!” One,
two- Mr. Derringer,M-Mr. Derringer! Might I remind you that this is a school event!
Hands where I can see them! My apologies Lunch Lady Belinda. The beauty
of this creature, here, often causes me to act in a way that is, well, less than appropriate. Oh my, somebody’s gonna be walking very funny
tomorrow morning. Well my dear sweet morsel, shall we proceed? One, two, three. Prom! Oh bonjour, Lunch Lady Belinda. Hello, Saison Margeurite. Please embrace Blaine
in a romantic yet appropriate manner. Um, actually, I’ve prepared a speech. For a picture? Saison Margeurite, tonight I consider myself
the luckiest man on the face of the earth. Did you just steal Lou Gehrig’s retirement
speech? What? No! She completes me! That’s Jerry Maguire. Hey I’m real! What you get is what you see!
What you trying to do to me? Those are the lyrics to an old Jennifer Lopez
song. Oh Blaine, straight up now tell me do you
want to love me forever? Or am I caught in a hit and run? Augh…you give love a bad name. Wha-oh, goddamnit!
Now you got me doing it! What? Ugh…forget it. The babies you make tonight
are gonna be so stupid. Just say prom. Prom! How do you say, prom? Hello, and welcome to the 2012 Overland Park
High School Prom: All Dogs Go to Heaven Under the Sea in Hawaii. My, my, that is quite a unique theme for a
high school prom. Yeah, we had some issues on the prom committee
this year. Under the sea! Hawaii! Under the sea! Hawaii! Um, hey guys, is my All Dogs Go to Heaven
theme still on the table, because, um, I think it’s a real winner. A compromise was reached…let’s go get some
punch! Hello and welcome to the 2012 Overland Park- Oh my god! Look at your outfit! I swear, if
I was into ladies, I’d be elbow deep in you right now. Hello. You don’t know me. Tristan Mckie. I go to
Blue Valley Northwest. Well, that’s what I do during the day. At night, this one plays
around in my guts. Yay. I’m Tanner Christiansen. The answer to a question I never asked. You’re probably familiar Tanner’s work. Well,
not in the way I’m familiar with it. I’m talking about sex. Sweetie, what’s the name of that
thing you are, again? I’m the quarterback of the football team,
Tristan. So much technical jargon, jeezus louisus!
Leave us ladies in the kitchen, where we belong, right Red? I’m just kidding! Obvi! I’m being paid fifty dollars to stand here.
Not to talk to Rick Taylor’s bottom. Go away now. My God, isn’t she great?! She’s like the love
child of Daria and Miranda from Sex and The City! Don’t say what you’re about to say. I’ve had this dream several times where Cynthia
Nixon and I are dating. Except she has a penis. Side note, it’s huge. And in this dream, she
repeatedly just, God I’m getting wet just thinking about it. Come here, you! Now just try and tell me that that was a second
rate hand job! It was cool. Damn right it was cool. Now time to go in
there and take my rightful place as- What the fuck! Later! Welcome to the 2012 Overland Park- why are
you wearing a tuxedo? Hey, yeah, why am I wearing a tuxedo? It’s a women’s cut! Did that come with a balls and a dick, or
did you buy that separately? Bridget, do you like my dress? You look like a tampon that was dipped in
Skittles and vomit. Thank you. Hello and welcome- Fuck off. Don’t mind if I do. Um, that’s my boyfriend. Yeah! That’s what you get, Ashley Katchadorian!
Next time you watch the fucking door! Why are you guys so mean to me? You know she’s in charge of snacks, right? Wait, what? Ashley Kachadorian is in charge of snacks. Uh-Jenna Darabond is in charge of the door. Oh my God, I’ve made a terrible mistake. Excuse me, can someone explain to me why I
just saw bottom right of the pyramid running away from you two in tears? I may have accidentally blamed Ashley Katchadorian
for a certain girl-getting-her-arms ripped off debacle. And I made out with her boyfriend. Not mistakenly. Wait a minute, you made out with… Justin
Michaelson? Yeah. Why? Do you have a problem with that? No, why would I have a problem with that?
I don’t care who Justin Michaelson makes out with. There’s nothing between us. I’m in a
happy committed relationship with Steven Carmichael. So hahaha… So we’re sure that Ashley Katchadorian is
not in charge of the door? Cause, cause we need to be like sure…sure sure. Goddamit Trisha this is supposed to be my
night! Your night? I’m sorry, since when does the
night belong to the girl who’s gonna come in second for Prom Queeen?! You take that back, bitch! I take nothing back. TAKE IT BACK!!!!!! Well, well, well, sounds like there’s discord
on Cheer Mountain. Gay Van Buren, why the hell did you bring
Jonathan Getslinhaumer as your prom date? Hey, that’s not my name! Never mind, I get it. Hey! Girl with the black hair! I don’t need
to stand here and be berated by the likes of you. Than is popular now. And Than is gonna
hang out with the rest of the popular dudes….Yo dudes, wait up? Fuck off. Fuck off. Eyes off the butts. That’s just this inside joke we have. Popular
guy thing. No it’s not! Ha ha fuck you too, there buddy! Oh those
guys. I just–I’m sorry just…you want some punch? Be right back! Who the fuck was that? Oh my God, Deandra, it’s, it’s, so good to
see you. Can I just say, um, I love your dress! It’s the exact same dress I’ve been wearing
every day to school. No, no I know, but it’s, it’s, it’s so good
today. Well, um, it’s really nice to see that you’ve
really kept a positive attitude about all this. Uh yeah, things are fucking awesome for me.
I get to run the hundred meters in the Special Olympics, I lost like twenty-seven pounds- Oh my God! What is your secret? I had my arms ripped off. Oh, right. And tonight, I get to be the prom queen! I’m sorry, excuse…did you say that- You’re going to be prom queen? Uh yeah, look at me! Exactly, look at you. Mackenzie Zales, Shay Van Buren, Handjob Girl,
you clearly aren’t familiar with the concept of a pity vote, are you? Put yourself in the
shoes of an average Overland Park student. Who are you gonna vote for for Prom Queen?
A cheerleader? Perhaps. An Overland Park socialite? Maybe. Oh, but wait, what’s this? A girl with
no arms? Well, if I don’t vote for her, I most assuredly will burn in the fiery fire
of hell fire for all eternity. In fact, let me vote for her twice to ensure that she never
experiences heartbreak or disappointment ever again in her entire life. After all, she does
have no arms. Badabap, one two eight, prom queen. Your attention please…will the five students
nominated for Prom Queen please make their way to the stage. Prom has been going for
eight minutes, which of course means it’s time for the most important event of the evening! See ya up there. Dumb whores.