mpgis 206 Okay, what the fuck is the hold up here? No, we don’t have any baguettes, Saison Margeurite.
I make it a rule to not sell anything I cannot spell. I have rolls. R-O-O-L-S. Rolls. Would
you like a roll? Yes, I suppose yet again- Cut! Wait, what the fuck? Who are- Oh my God, if
this is Chris Hansen, seriously, I swear to god, look, that girl told me she was eighteen!
Wait, you know, what girl? You know- Anyway, hi, hello, would you like some meat loaf? Hey, Saison, that was great. This time, though,
can you give me a little more- Wait a minute, what? Saison, these cameras
are for you? Oui, Lunch Lady Belinda, I am now being filmed
for an American reality television program. Oh wow, look, they’re making reality shows
about French people now? What’s it called, put your oui oui in my poo poo? No, no, no sweetheart this show is called
Babes Having Babies. It’s like 16 and Pregnant, but we use hot chicks. And we only film them
for the first two months of their pregnancy, you know, before they get all fat and shit. Oh, well you know, I’ve had a few miscarriages
myself. Yeah, I can fucking tell. Okay I’m sorry, but what the fuck is the hold
up over here?! Oh hey, it’s the famous Brittnay Matthews.
I’ve heard a lot about you. You, you have? Yeah, you’re Saison’s best friend. Her what? Ok, guys, I want you to frame up here on Saison
and her best friend, make sure you cut out the freak in the background. Oh Goddammit! I’m sorry? Wait, what did you just refer to
me as? Brittnay, I hope it is ok, but I told the
producers all about our friendship and they say they want to put you on the how you say
show! Wait a minute, I’m gonna be on TV? As long as you are, in fact, this girl’s best
friend. Saison! Brittnay! C’mon, I saved you a seat at the center lunch
table! Oh! This is so how you say, exciting! Oh I love it when you don’t know words! Because
it seems like you do, like you should really know them, but you don’t! It’s so adorable.
Some people find it unbearable, but not me! Let’s go bestie! Nice. Maybe we can get them to make out later. Dude, she’s, uh, having a baby. And I’m, uh, having a deadline, retard. Now
shut the fuck up and go get some b-roll of kids walking in the quad with their backpacks
on. Do it! Have you ever thought about producing an expose
on the secret lives of lunch ladies? I call it “Meat Flaps.” Nope, not once, not ever, I just threw up
in my mouth. Please stop talking to me, and walk away. Hi Lunch Lady Belinda! How’s your afternoon
going?! Oh, you are a calm breeze in my fuckstorm
of a life that I’m living. Thank god we’re having hot dogs today. Oh Saison. Hey Saison, didn’t see you at lunch. Cut, cut! Who the fuck is this? Oh, this is Shay Van Buren. And who the fuck is Shay Van Buren? Some cunt you don’t want in your shot. Hey, I’m not a cunt. Well, whoever you are, you’re blocking my
two-shot. Saison, why are you hanging out with this
bitch? Uh, because this bitch is her best friend!
No matter what you’re about to say or prove! Saison, I always thought I was your best friend. Well, I have always had a special connection
with Brittnay. We have such a witty how do you say banter. Ub! There it is again! That thing that she
does that I love so much! Did you guys get that on tape? Because we can do another take!
It just makes me want to explode…with happiness! Oh Brittnay, you are such a how do you say,
crack up? Ahhhh!!!! You’re so funny, he he. Ok, then Brittnay, since you and Saison are
such good friends, what’s her favorite food? Uhhhhhhhhhhh…French…fries. Oh yes, delicious! Ok, who’s her favorite actor? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…French…Stewart? Oh, oui! 3rd Rock from the how do you say
Sun! Fine…what’s her favorite salad dressing. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…Thousand island? Absolutemente! Alright, I’ve heard enough. Best friend number
two, I’m going to need you to go stand next to Best Friend number one. Wait, what the fuck? Oh yay! Room for all friends. Alright, and on the count of three, I want
you all to kiss and then say, “We’re having a baby!” One, two- We’re having a baby! Boom! That’s goin’ in the sizzle reel. Bam
wham. Well, friends, I have to be going to how you
say French class. Of course you do! Why wouldn’t you be going
to a class where you learn French even though you’re already French, you adorable little,
I’ll see ya later! Man, is it just me or is every single girl
in this school just incredibly attractive? Yeah, I know what you mean, it’s pretty much
impossible to find an ugly one in the bunch. Spoke too soon. Man I’m just barfing all day
today. Hey, maybe at some point, do you think we
could make a spin off of my own series? Well number two, what’s your story? I was born into a dynasty of high school socialites
and was destined to popularity, but then my rivalry with the local cheer squad stalled
my rise to the throne of prom queen and ended up with me ripping off the arms of one of
my friends. Who the fuck would want to watch a show like
that? Oh, hey babe, what are we doing, banging our
heads against the locker? I’m in! Yeah, take that locker! What the fuck is wrong with you? Some dark shit! So, what’s your day been like? I’ve just had to spend the entire day acting
like I care about the biggest dumbass in the world. Wait, is this your way of breaking up with
me? Cause this is harsh. Not you, dumbass. Saison Margeurite! I have
to be friends with her and Shay van Buren if I want to be on TV. Hey, trust me babe, after a while, it gets
really easy to deny who you really are. Now if you’ll excuse me.