*mic taps* After that game, I am absolutely not…alright alright alright. What in the sam hell is going on here? It’s Matthew McConaughey. He’s locked himself inside the stadium announcer booth. You gotta be kidding me. Matthew? Come on out, buddy. Open up. *mic feedback* Our DB’s are worse than season 2 of True Detective. Come on now ain’t nothin that terrible. Look this is bad ok? The good people of Austin are already a little rustled from this loss to LSU. Last thing they need is the Minister of Culture going rogue on the loudspeakers. Now you get down to facilities and get someone to open up this door. Yes sir. Man oh man. Can you imagine if Colt hadn’t gotten hurt? Yeah. We woulda ran em outta the stadium. Well hey guess what I got out here. It’s your old buddy, Lee Corso. Just standing out here waiting for you to embarrass him on national television again. All you gotta do is open..the door. Look it should be this one but he’s done something to the door. I can’t get it open. I can keep stalling him but we’re gonna need to get that door open pronto. Hey come on now, Matt. We all saw the Sugar Bowl last year. Texas is back, Baby! Oh Texas is back alright. Back to giving up over 500 yards of total offense. Ok. So when do we start talking about bringing in the SWAT Sniper team? What!? No! Ok ok just brainstorming here. No bad ideas. All I’m saying is that he’s gonna have Texas fans thinking that we are in fact..not back. That’s what I love about these high school recruits, man. We keep losing, they go to the other schools. He starts quoting Failure to Launch, I’m ripping the door off the hinges. Robert you are not helping. 3rd and 17 is a flat circle. What if we try to bribe him with this? Now what are the chance he’s in there with a shirt on? Good point. Knock knock. Oh did y’all hear that? He’s trying to communicate. Y’all hush. Knock knock. Ok..who’s there? DB DBWHO? That’s the joke. I think it’s a DBU joke. But since they sucked we’re not good anymore. Yeah that one’s a stretch. Well y’all, at least Oklahoma doesn’t have a Baker or Kyler anymore. No they have an accomplished senior. He’s been to two National Championship games. He’s blown the doors off of Big 12 defenses. Awe man. Look.. Matthew McConaughey has given so much back to this University. So much of himself. Maybe…just maybe… We should let him grieve in his own way. I think we owe him that. Well….alright. In case you forgot… That loss to Kansas is only 3 years old. So…SWAT team snipers? Yup.