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The Narcissist Cheating and The Other Woman | Stephanie Lyn Coaching

The Narcissist Cheating and The Other Woman | Stephanie Lyn Coaching

100 thoughts on “The Narcissist Cheating and The Other Woman | Stephanie Lyn Coaching”

  1. Omg. My bf did this exact thing to me it lasted for almost a year, back and forth drama. The other women loved it and she also played games with me. I even told her he was with me and was a narcissist but she continued to be with him. He even left me and our kids to be with her. I wish I hadn't took him back. Worst mistake ever, nothing changed, he is still abusive and cheats. He just thinks I dont know and I'm stupid. I like to gather info in my head before I leave him.

  2. Thanks for advice but I’m just out of narcissistic relationship after 10 years and he has been cheating and moved in with his new supply . How do I stop thinking about what he’s doing etc and what he’s doing with her and why isn’t he contacting me . I want to work on myself but this I am struggling with . Any advice ?

  3. If someone tells you there,s no such thing as emotional abuse, it's either gaslighting or playing you for a reaction. Either way, run don't walk.

  4. You just told my story. 27 years married and he left. I told him I was unhappy with our sex life. He replied that he was unhappy too. Said he was going to stay with his mom but went right to her. I didn't see or actually talk to him for 5 months. That was in court. He never thought I would file for a divorce but I couldn't take it anymore. He has cheated many times. He is now living with his parents.

  5. What is “the work”? What are we supposed to do to heal ourselves and improve ourselves? What’s the work, what do we focus on? Everyone keeps saying to “forgive”, “let it go”, “work on yourself” but no one says “how to do it”. Someone, Please answer this. Thanks!!!

  6. Hi there . thank u so much for ur efforts. I wish u can make a video abt how to raise child after a divorce. Im raising my child all on my own. Thnks

  7. everything you say is on point very true and I can tell it comes out of your heart (out of your personal experience) I would LOVE to hear your story and what you've been truth I know none of us want to share our dirty laundry out for the world to hear but I think your audience will really benefit from hearing your story and seeing how you have successfully came out of a toxic relationship, overcame it, and now taking care of yourself. Thank you for all your AMAZING videos i trully appreciate them because they are helping me allot with overcoming the PTSD and social anxiety I have from that relationship I was in and still somewhat dealing with. <3

  8. Thank you so much. I am newly out of a relationship with a narcissist. You have helped me tremendously. You have described him to a tee in this video. Thank you for clarity. He had some of things I wanted in a partner but a lot of core things were missing. However, the things that were present meant so much to me and i have never had that in my previous relationship that I lorded those things so much.

  9. Hi Stephanie – I often hear when you heal your wounds and raise your vibration, you will start to attract a different kind of man….one that is at your new level of vibration. Is this REALLY true? Did this happen to you? Also, what's your opinion on energy healing like Body Talk to uplevel childhood wounds? Thanks

  10. Plz check the work of Esther Perel an amazing psychologist and she is an expert in infidelity, it is more complex than this

  11. I have a question ? Ok ,my ex_ husband is always telling me that he is in love with me ,the problem for me is ,he never has any thing to do with me ,he totally ignores me 24/7 ,but when I moved away he was calling me and texting me wanting to know where I was , well needless to say , I moved back to the area I was in ,due to some personal circumstances ,and since I have moved back in the area ,he has really ignored me big time , can someone please give me some in sight on how to handle this , thank you

  12. Dear Stephanie, thank you so much for your videos. I literally watched them all during the last week and they gave me so much to learn, and also relief, validation and a lot of hope. I have been through this too, and my ex partner of 6 years still contacts me from fake accounts, emails and so on til this day even though I went no contact 2 years (!) ago … but you are right, you come to a point where you see everything as it is and I can finally see him clear now. He is a poor person, trying to control others without respecting their boundaries and feelings. I'm not super happy in my life, but content with myself, have a great job, home and friends at my own mental freedom and that is the best thing. Wish you the best, go on like this <3 Greetings from Germany

  13. I was in a relationship with a man for a year. I felt in my gut that something wasn't right so I left in the nicest way possible, and after I left him I found out he was married. Him and his wife started stalking/hacking/threatening me consistently for years. The strange thing is that she knew all along that he was with me.

  14. The other woman is probably addicted to the married man just as much as the wife. Why do you think he is treating her Amy different. Place the blame where it belongs with the cheater. We become addicted to narcissists like opium. She is not an insecure woman, she bought the lie, please stop!!!! You via this video is spreading wrong information and all your credibility goes out the window. Before opining, make sure you know reality, perhaps becoming educated. The woman married to the man and the woman he is cheating with are the same woman yet one wears a ring, but both bought into the lie!

  15. Anyone that can lie, betray and cheat on their wife and children is not a person you want to be in love with.

  16. Another reason is the “side woman” does not even know about the wife, which unfortunately was the case with me and I was devastated when I found out.

  17. The new partner might not even know that the narcissist is in a relationship. They may have been told that you are a "crazy ex" that won't leave them alone, that you are a stalker and maybe even that the new one is in danger from you.
    When your partner comes back to you after a while, he/she hasn't even ended the other relationship, so now the narc is cheating on him/her with YOU!
    And there may not only be two of you! They often have several relations "on hold", in different stages, some of them new, and some of them exes.
    One way they keep relations "on hold" is by textmessages. Their phone is the tool. They keep on texting for hours. Often with more than one at the same time. (If they are "active" on Messenger, they want everyone to believe that they are active with them.) Sometimes I felt that the narc wasn't really present when "chatting". Once I got a message that was clearly not for me…

  18. Thank you so much for this! I really needed to hear this. Your videos are really helpful. Thank you for sharing your experiences and knowledge.

  19. My ex (,believe he has npd) started an affair with his high school girlfriend. She was also married.
    They used to wait for me to leave with my 1 year old twins so they could hang out in my house.
    She also met my children before i even knew about the affair. Then she threw her husband out and moved my husband in and supported them mainly by her alimony. Now she gets to play mommy to my kids every other weekend etc. I've refused to meet her. I think she has no character and disgusts me as much as my ex. I also refuse to meet her because i just know he's dying to triangulate.

  20. Sounds like you are describing Chad and Tyrone. Yes they are narcissistic. And they love to pump and dump. Chad and Tyrone make up 20% of men. The other 80% of men (good hearted, mentally stable, loving men WHO DONT CHEAT) women have REJECTED.
    It’s the 80/20 rule. 80% of women are only attracted to 20% of men. This is why women (the real narcissists) cry “all men cheat” “all men do drugs” “all men have criminal records” on and on.
    Women are only attracted to Chads and Tyrones.
    Where have all the good men gone?? LMFAO. Give me a break??!
    The good men are smart. And the good men have left the plantation and we will not give any attention, time, or resources on a modern day woman. Us good men know our value and we would never settle for Chad and Tyrone’s sloppy 1,000’s. No way- never.
    There are no more good women left. They are all facebook attention queens and all involved heavily in Chad and Tyrone’ online dating harem. Yes… thats the illusion of “online dating”. Its not dating lol. It’s Chad and Tyrone’s sex harem.

  21. Another really good vid and so much of it touches so close to home. I tell you…years after my situation, it's a HUGE relief to know that what happened wasn't about me so much as it was about her not really loving me to start with. But I'm finally at a point when I can deal with what happened and ready to move on. Not ready for a relationship just yet because what I always "think" I want isn't really what I need. I'm learning as I go along. lol…willing to be much more patient moving forward. And the freedom is awesome!

  22. Oh…my…God!! … How glad I am that I hit on your channel!! Every vowel & consonant resonates! Thank you!!

  23. Thanks for this video, nice way of explaining it so one feels like it has built confidence rather than have negative emotions about the situation.

  24. I just found out my husband had an emotional affair with one of his coworkers a few months ago. She is also married with 2 children. I am separated but I am at a standstill. He has apologized to me & he has told me he still loves me. But he has told me before that that I lead him to it. What?! I was very mad & hurt..still am. He has even told me I was crazy, mean, & evil bc of my anger. What?! I have every right to be angry. He is a very good manipulator. The trust is hard to build back up.
    So, I just got a new job & lost some weight..still working on it. I moved out & moved in with my mom. But, he still acts a little distant which makes it hard for me to trust him. He is more into our 2 grown children than me. So, I am taking it one day at a time. God only knows what is best for me & him. He is really hard to read.

  25. Love is a decision its not based soley on feelings which probably explains why thete is so much divorces and cheaters its selfish plain and simple.

  26. Thanks so much for makimg these videos! I have been watching them all and it jas helped confirm that I have a narcissist in my life, and given me some skills on how ro deal with it, thankyou so much 🙂

  27. Wow wow wow…..spot on madam….ur just amazing….every thing u said is true and I went through each and everything

  28. Stephanie,my name is Dan i have been watching many and many of your video's i wanna thank you your an amazing woman and have helped me through some of the most unimaginable pain that has been inflicted on me by narcissistic abuse. I'm not going to go into details about my situation because it is absolutely heartbreaking. Again I want to thank you for being an amazing person.

  29. Thanks for this information… not every woman dating a married man is "insecure"… some men really know how to live a double life and hide it well until, the truth unfolds which is what happened in my case and by the time that happened I was pretty head over heels. Turned out, he's a covert narcissist and psychopath. Getting rid of him wasn't easy task and that wasn't because of my feelings for him but because of the destruction he left behind. He stayed with his main "narcissistic supply" and she and I recently, talked. He beat her severely to the point, I think she's very lucky to be alive and he's now in jail…. what my intuition was telling me in regards to the reasons why she'd want to confide that in me is that she felt jealous of me still at which she accused me at first of still seeing him and having contact with him which she's definitely wrong. So, she kept trying to lure me to come visit her to her apartment which I refused several times but she continued insisting under false pretense and at rejecting to meet with her, she went to the police and tried filing bogus charges fo "harassment" when I am living in peace and have not seen or heard from him since last December 2017…. I tried being supportive to which, I listened to her vent, cry and gave her several contact numbers so that she can find a safe haven for herself before he gets out and all along, my intuition lead me to believe that, I needed stay away from her and that she is just as sick as he is. I heard it in her tone, in the language she expressed herself until, finally, because she tried once more to get me to meet up with her or for her to come to my home and I refused; few hours later, the police called me on the phone about her complaint… ladies, be very careful who you trust in your home.

  30. How am I supposed to deal with the father of my son who cheated and left us for this other woman. They have a long distance relationship so she wasn't around. Meanwhile, because of the long distance, he always kept coming back to us.(stupid I know now) Like he was just messing with my mind and feelings. Saying all these things to me. It was so confusing and hard. It went on for a year, since we split up. Recently I got to my breaking point and I just lost it with him. Can you believe this, he came home from work(he's gone for 2 weeks out of the month and home for 2 weeks) and he came to my place right away. A night of being intimate and sleeping in bed together he brings this other woman to our home town and he was kissing me while she was just inside the house while I was talking to him.
    Now that were not being intimate anymore he's trying to bring this stranger in my son's life.
    I know that's out of my control but dont you think that's wrong? He cant be responsible for anything. How can I trust him when he cant be accountable for his actions. I can't raise a son with a liar who doesn't respect anyone. I'll let him have access and parenting time to our child but I can't trust him to have guardian ship too. He's also an alcoholic.

  31. If they do it with you…he'll do it to you!! Hes a serial cheater and acts like a child. Hes now moving in together with her and shes 30yrs younger. Hes a narcissist IMO. Never admits his mistakes or apologize for anything. I always thought he would behave in a normal way. It's hard to believe how they operate and they dont think like us.

  32. This was so so helpful. Describes the situation of my break up perfectly and makes me have faith that it wasnt all my fault. thank you!!!

  33. You said it, these people are not equipped to have a deep emotional connection. They deflect and gaslight and will never truly take authentic responsibility for their actions. It's all a game to them.

  34. Thank you Stephanie this video is exactly what I needed in this process of focusing on me and my future. Everyday is a new challenge!

  35. I'm sorry but I don't agree with your explanation. There are men that cheat and do feel guilty. People are able to hold opposing feelings at the same time. Similarity they might feel guilty afterwards but in the moment they enjoy it. They can dissociate or deny difficult feelings of guilt in the moment of pleasure and then later feel them. We all have this capacity. . Things are not black-and-white. People cheat for various different reasons. It doesn't mean there are narcissist necessarily.

  36. He keeps lying to me, hw won’t let me go either. He’s cheating on me with multiple people and seems like that’s my fault. I can’t leave him in this moment right now. So what should I do to able living in the same house . ?

  37. I agree with this and it's helped me get some closure. In my situation I was the other woman and had no idea about it until i became suspicious that he was cheating on me and found out the truth. He was engaged to someone he was with for 7 years. She bought it because they lived quite far away from eachother. What's worse is that his family and friends knew but said nothing to me or her. We both left him after this betrayal but by then I had invested so much of myself aswell that it took a lot of time and counselling to overcome the breakup. He was a narcissist and now he's all alone.

  38. My ex was emotionally cheating on me for a few months with someone who I thought was my friend. A month after our breakup I found out they had started dating, and even though it was very painful to hear, it made me realize what kind of people they really are. It still hurts to know that while I was in a very dark place, he was having his fun with her.

  39. Thank you 💚 I’m going through this and was at such a low point with anxiety today and I watched your video and it helped me shift my perspective

  40. My narc always used affairs as a way to control me. He tells them all how they are better in bed then tells me no one knows how to please him except me. I left because he wanted me to wait until he got it out of his system then got mad because I wouldn’t. I’m healing aka doing the work for the guy who IS equipped to handle a solid relationship.

  41. Ah damnit your so right. Iv been with my boyfriend for 15 years back in 2016 to 2017 he was cheating on me on and off a co worker. Im so damn heartbroken and iv scuffing from depression my hole life. I dont think he cheated before this but now im not even sure what to think. He tells me he loves me but cared for her. and that at the time he didnt see a future for us and felt stuck in his life…. well so did i felt stuck in my life. i still do. but i didnt go off with someone. he said he was shitfaced drunk every time they did it… i bet he was because she is no prize pig herself. but looks aside he did what he did. and he didnt confront me. my best friend told me. and you know what? We are still best friends and will always be friends. she has been my friend for 18 years. and not once did i say why didnt you tell me sooner. i said im so sorry you had to keep that horrible lie.

  42. you are so right! The blame shift is the hardest part to deal with. Normal people listen and have introspect about what changes we can make, but these sick people NEVER EVER take their part.

  43. That is the reason why most marriages starting from an affair end in divorce. I read about 95% of marriages starting from an affair end in a divorce.

  44. What really confirmed the whole thing to me about that he's a narcissist (there's more but this was just so clear, so obvious and I cannot possibly question if I heard it right) – is that he told me first he doesn't remember why he fell in love with me. Then less than an hour later, his argument for why he fell in love with her? It was IDENTICAL to the reason he told me years ago why he loved me. It was the same damn argument. So not only was the reason the same, it was a very shallow one as well. But not just that, how can you forget if it's identical? It makes zero sense. Zero. Plus imho there's not 'just one' reason to fall in love with someone, so the fact he cannot come up with anything, doesn't matter if you cannot recall the first few years, you can still love a person for traits that are new or changed later in the relationship. There isn't just 'one' thing.
    I just can't wrap my head around it how dumb and shallow he turned out to be, while I thought he wasn't.

  45. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I can’t express how much I appreciate your knowledge and how happy I am that I came across your channel!

  46. But what if you have a strong friendship with that person and really didn't think that they would ever hurt you in that Xtreme of a way, and then refuses to leave the relationship because they are still convinced they're in love with you. but yet even after standing strong and telling them what you will and will not accept they continue to cheat. but you're in a position where you can't just kick them out by law.

  47. Picture the guy who cheated on you as the ugliest guy you ever dated or married. He probably was and you were like me co-dependent and just needing love and attention from a man. Karma is coming for him! He will reap what he sowed for cheating on you.

  48. I just broke up with my 2nd narcissist he had me fooled big time. He flew under my narc radar. I can’t stop crying I can’t believe I’m going through this again. This is heartbreaking

  49. You are right, I loved what you have said they didn’t respect you or respect them self when they did that

  50. Shame on you for acting like men of the only narcissist I have met just as many women that are even better at it than men are. This whole conversation is focused towards men ridiculous and short minded.

  51. well 18 years now
    disabled from being injured. I was literally a trash can lower than low credit blown savings blown & CANT WORK AT 50! yeah ???!!!
    PS: I gave him an out 2 years ago swore I wouldn't stand in the way since he was never married engaged to me 11 years together 17 I told him no hard felling told him it wasn't to late for him he could start fresh with a family… NOPE HE WASN'T HAVIBG IT! now the house is in his name & Im being made to relocate with my mom st 50 & disabled!
    🆘 Oh yeah I had a high powered position in LA my entire career. now my job moved us to NC I paid 75% of the bills until a year ago due to being taken out of work.
    I don't know ~ can't find the good yet.
    He's a scum bag POS to put it as nice as possible.

  52. Thank you, This video explains a lot. The narc that was in my life put me on a pedestal the whole 4 year relationship. She let me fall in love with her family and I was the daddy to her daughter she never had. I never saw my marriage proposal rejection coming on our Alaskan Cruise vacation. I was lead on for 8 months afterward. She never had the courage to call it a break up while continuing an affair with a co worker. To this day her social media status is in a relationship with me . Your video helps give some closure to a extremely painful experience.

  53. I was just served my first steaming hot pile of being cheated on about 4 hours ago. It took us 6 hours to admit the truth that I had proof of. Yay.

  54. I've been watching your videos for the past few days and I just want to thank you. You've been the friend that I need to listen to in times like this. You helped me get through the pain everyday. I am still suffering until now. Its just been a week. I will keep watching your videos until i find myself again.

    😊😊😊

  55. Another typical defence from the narcissistic cheater – and often the other woman too – is to project their guilt and shame into the injured party. This is where the cheater not only fails to take responsibility for their betrayal, lies and selfish behaviour, but then says ‘It’s all your fault’. They don’t have the maturity to process the guilt and shame and so they try to make you carry it. You were just ‘too difficult to live with’, had ‘too many issues’ etc – anything to make them feel justified in having cheated. You have to become the bad one instead of them. However, this should only make you realise even more what a gutless, irresponsible, selfish and emotionally stunted person they are, that they will cheat again (as their immaturity will keep demanding fresh narcissistic supply) and that their new relationship will fail at some point – how can it not? It is built on betrayal and lies.

  56. This blessed me so much I found you earlier this year and I asked my husband for a divorce after 31 years of relationship 26 years of marriage. He left me four years ago for another woman. We have7 Grandchildren 5 children he left me a month before our youngest son was shot and killed in our backyard. I have learned so much about myself by following you. My husband paid for the divorce and I will be signing them this week. I just received them last Monday. I now feel so much better about signing. Thank you for sharing. I now commit to the work.

  57. Sounds like my ex in the skank he was cheating on me with. She is married and I I think her husband was starting to catch on because she said that he all of a sudden exploded on her one night and was throwing her stuff around the room. She claims he was abusing her but it makes me wonder if he didn't just sense how much time they were spending together and didn't confront her on it so she decided to leave. This bitch decided to come to his house while I was there and be asking him to stay over there and then worse yet after she left her hanging around for three hours she asked him if they could move in together. But according to him nothing was going on. Yeah, okay. Sure whatever you say.

  58. I agree my ex of 17 years finally found someone he loved. He never once told me in 17 years that he loved me, not once. He found love with my married best friend. She is newly widowed and they were carrying on when we were together. It really ruined me.

  59. Agreed I've dated 2 narcissistic men long term and from the evidence I've found it seems like their affair started extremely similar to how our relationship started and its sick!!

  60. Thank you Stephanie for making sense. There’s things you have touched in this video that I have wondered for so long which you have answered. I have a question, how do you get a closure in this kind of situation when your husband leaves you without a word and suddenly disappears from a 22 years marriage? How do you get closure without having to confront him and it might even take years before you get a chance to do this? I am now beginning to be at peace with this as I have accepted many things and learnt to distinguish the lies from the truth. The truth was that he was the problem. I guess this is my closure, but I would like to hear your thoughts on this.

  61. You are SO spot on with your details. Your experience sounds just like mine. Why I didn’t see it years ago I just don’t know.

  62. He left me for the girl he has broken up with me because as he said to all how dare i be suspiscious about his behaviour with her and accuse him of being with her i found out fpr the whole year of manipulation and gaslighting he has been involved with her emotionally amd mostly physically for all this time even making fun of me "his partner for 5 years 2 of which engaged ans other 6 years best friend" with her and telling her i am a burden he can't get rid of and he allows her to make fun of me in all aspects even my look😊

  63. I am so glad I came across your video, and it's verified everything I have been going through. I've been married for 32 years going through divorce narcissist husband wanted other woman in wife at same time.he kept making excuses all the time saying they were friends but they were caught she is married as well! Unfortunately unfaithful husband has son living with him which is following the same path.

  64. how can I get over that my husband cheated on me and he still has to talk to his lover??
    What I know he cheated on me my during marriage, he might of be doing it during are boy/girl friend phase to but idk, when i met him he said he was single, but he does have an ex and they got a daughter together, everything was going well until the ex started bothering me say i destoryed her marriage and took away the father of her daughter, when we got married things started getting worse, she will always be in between everything, and i will get him lying and that when i started thing this man is cheating on my and of course the other women confirmed it on her FB she started puting picture of them and say it was her husband and started talking crap about me on fb too… got to the point that i left him.. about 3 yrs pass and he comes back into my life cause we never got a divorce, we are trying to fix things but I just cant get over that he needs to talk to her, I know he has to support his daughter, but how do i know if he is not sending more money and maintaining her too? he doesnt help me financially and he doesnt want me to put my nose in his money and where it goes, he told me he works for his money and I work for mine…..I just dont know what to think am just tired of this,…thinking every day is he still with her or is it really over, does he really love me or what am i doing with my life? At the moment am sick and he knows i need him financially right now cause I wont me work for a month and that means no $$ for me and I have to pay bills, but he said well figure out how to save money on the side so you have enough money to pay your bills….cause he has his debt and has to send money to his ex lover for his daughter…..Please and I need advice…I dont know what to do, I was fine alone and now that he came back all my feelings that i bottled up has came out, anger, saddness, betrayal, worthless, feeling for him still, am fighting with myself everyday inside, stay with him or leave him

  65. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I found out a few months ago of the affair my husband of 15 years is having with an employee of his in another state. It’s been going on a year plus not including the emotional side. It’s been such heartbreak and struggle but I’m doing the work and getting to a much better place. I was also a big pleaser and co-dependent. Didn’t set boundaries. Always wanted to be the ‘cool’ wife. Wow what a lesson I have learned. Thank you Stephanie so much for your wisdom and willing to share with others. God bless anyone else going through this living nightmare. ❤️

  66. This is exactly what I need. Thank you Stephanie. My ex husband soon to be, just admit everything that he is spending vacation to the other woman, where it’s their 3rd time vacation together. The last 2 vacation he got away because I didn’t discover yet.. They have been together for 3 years now, how amazing is that. But anyway, the other woman thinks he won a lottery for having my husband. I would say Im still bitter, but this video that you have made, gave me light where path should I go, thank you❤️

  67. Hoping the narcissist don't leave the other person to be with you that will make them made once you realize they abuse 😳😳😳

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