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Top 100 Things Pick-Up Basketball Players Say


– Joe you can’t guard me! Ohhhh! – Ones and twos, straight up. – Who’s got next? – All ones, to 11. – Y’all are not up! – We’ve been calling score the whole game. – I got downs. Yo, what’s the score? – 13’s ones and twos. – He has no left, force him left. – Aw, short, aw that’s right, off right. – He has no right, force him right. – Off left, off left. – He can’t shoot.
– Let him shoot. – I’m open I’m open. Woo-hoo. Swing the ball. – My bad on the miss. Man you gotta move bro, you gotta cut. – Yo I got downs, you wanna run with me? – I actually got next, I got downs. – How, you just got here. – Oh that’s wet. Wet! Oh, there it is. This not regulation size,
I knew something was off. – Yo, can I run it with you guys? – No I got fives. You got downs though. – Oh there it is. I just lifted. That’s fine. Shooters shoot. There it is. Shooter’s shoot, baby. Oh yes. Getting warmed up. Oh, there we go! It’s the double rim! – Well which five have you got? There’s only three people here. – They’re playing on the court right now. I got a friend on the way. My boy’s coming actually.
– I got downs. – Nah, I got downs. – Don’t leave me open. Don’t leave me…it’s shaking. If it wasn’t shaking, it would’ve gone in. It’s interference ’cause it was shaking. Check ball. – Is this a girl’s ball? This ball is flat, is this game ball? – Oh, there it is. Hey, I’m warmed up baby, shooters shoot. Here we go. – Screen right, screen right,
switch, switch, switch. Screen left, switch,
switch, switch, switch. I said switch. – Ay we need one for fives. – Nah I’m good.
– We just need one though. – I’m just shooting bro. – That’s a carry.
– That’s not a carry. My hand is right here, this is a carry. This is not a carry. – That’s not what you did. – Man y’all just play
different around here man. I’m not from around here, it’s different. Y’all different. – Foul, that’s me.
– That was all ball. – All hand.
– Hand is part of the ball. – Respect the call man, I called foul. Y’all got last one. – I don’t even play basketball,
I’m a football player. – Bro, cut your nails. How long are your nails? – Count your points.
– I got six. How many you got?
– I got four points. – That’s 10, that’s game point. – You know you ain’t had six. – I scored on you right, you
don’t remember the layup? – No I don’t remember that layup. – The body, huh, you don’t remember? Okay. – Hurry up check it up. – Let me see that ball man. Yeah that’s mine, I gotta go. – Let him shoot, not
a shooter, we’ll live. We need one, one for fives, you wanna run? – Who’s playing? – Guy in the white, guy in the black. – Nah I’m good. – Lock down, lock down, yeah! – Yo where’s my phone? Someone stole my phone. – No, nuh uh that’s broke, that’s broke- – I called bank – How you gonna call it after it goes in? – What type of shoes are those? Are those comfortable? – All right, last game, 21. – Ay! Foul. – Ain’t nobody touch you. – Foul.
foul. – He called foul. Point
don’t count. Check ball. Shouldn’t’ve called foul. – Yo Scoot, can I have some? Waterfall. – That’s enough!
Bro! You called foul before you shot it! – But you fouled me? – We gotta shoot for that. We’re not shooting for anything! And 1! And 1 is not a call. Ball live, Ball live! – Two pointer.
That was a one. His foot was on the line. – Whose ball is it?
Yeah! Yeah! – His opinion don’t matter! He
on the sideline for a reason! Hey, what you saw? – Foul!
Ball! That’s me. – You can’t wait ’till
you see that you miss it to call foul. – I’m just a freshman, bro. – What college? – Nah, I’m in high school.
I’m at Dr. Phillips. – Wait what’s teams again? What’s teams? – Everyone on the outside
v.s. everyone on the inside. – That’s what we want baby! – Mouse in the house. Mismatch, mismatch.
Yeah! Yeah! (yelling) Yeah! Weight room! Put a shirt on. – Game! – You can’t beat me one-on-one though. Put a 100 dollars on it. – And 1! – You ain’t call foul? – Call your foul. We
ain’t giving you nothing. – Basketball’s a team sport. – Put a 100 dollars on it right now. – Next! – Hold up hold up, you
gotta pass the ball in. Oh yeah! That’s us, off his knee! – Nah, I got downs. – You just finished playing. – I got downs. – You just finished playing too! Well, can I run with you guys? – Nah I got 5. – Well who’s got next? – Guy in the black shirt right there, dude in the yellow, guy
in the pink over there. – Cookies! – My bad. That’s on me. I haven’t played in like a month. – I’ll shoot for it. – Ball don’t lie. – I’ll shoot for it. – Match. – Ain’t no match. – Match. – It’s do or die. – Nah, match.
Did you call do or die? – Kobe! – You gonna call foul every time? – Slide your feet! – We ain’t playing NBA rules here. We ain’t in the NBA. Who’s man is that? – 7-5, bad guys. – 7-5, good guys. Here we go. Cut! – Ya’ll got last call! – That’s how you’re gonna do it? All right. All right.
Don’t call foul. Don’t call foul, see, oh. Oh!
Okay! – That’s a walk bro! Two steps! – Nah that was two steps. – One, two – Three steps! – No, bro. Check ball. Yeah, I played at Florida. – You played at Florida? – Little intramural basketball. – Intramural? – Hey, switch. Let me get him. – I got him. – Are you sure you have him? Man, switch!
Get him, get him. – Ball, ball, ball, ball! – Jelly! – Call the screen, I can’t see them! – You can’t dunk, bro. – I could dunk that,
I gotta get warmed up. If I’m warmed up! – Oh, no no, you gotta – My bad. My bad. – You gotta, you gotta
put it above the rim. – That’s on me. – Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on – Man you can’t dunk. Man no, no, you can’t dunk. Game point. – Game point?
No… – Nah we’ve been calling
score the whole game. Put your shoes on, come on! We’ve been calling score the whole game. – No. – Bro! – First. – That’s not a call. – What’s score? – Uh, I think… Hold on, we were checking score that doesn’t count. Check ball. Next point wins. – Wait, what’s score? – Wait, we we’re talking – That’s game no. – I just said it! I just said next score! Oh my gosh, no! Get off the court. – We were calling score. – Get off the court. Next, next. We were calling score, man. – Check ball, check ball. – Next! Next!
Next! – We called straight up at
the beginning of the game. – Pick up, pick up, pick up. Uh, huh. Lockdown. Gametime. – Hey, run it back. Run
it back, run it back. Run it back! – I got downs! – [Voiceover] I’m a grown man! – That’s a carry, man. – Are you serious? – That’s a carry. – Waterfall. (laughing) That gotta be a good clip.

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